little poem i felt like writing. hope u like it.
A broken heart that can't be mended
All those painful memories have finally ended
She gave her heart to so many guys
Everyone can hear how loud her heart cries
Her heart has gone through so much
Left empty and untouched
So who does she turn to?
She has no clue
Who will love her the way she needs
Her heart bleeds
If only someone would give her a chance
But they always turn away after one glance
But maybe this is it
She has to admit
She must love herself the way she is
She now knows that it was all a quiz
So if u were one that broke her heart
No need to apologize she has decided to restart
2007-08-30 14:24:54 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Good on the rhyming at the end of sentences. It depicts a touching but sad tale of a lady who has fallen out of love I think. Good that you did not identify who "she" is and kept it mysterious for readers. It is more powerful that way. Also, by writing in short sentences, they will bring out a deeper impact. Your character's loneliness is brought out very effectively.
I really enjoyed the poem. Do write more and thanks for sharing this with me.
2007-08-30 17:17:24 · answer #1 · answered by UnspokenShadow 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rhyming generally calls for a more consistent meter. Your lines appear to have random lengths and rhythms.
2007-08-30 21:39:09 · answer #2 · answered by Ronnie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! that is powerful, you should enter a contest or publish that poem. Beautiful art! You have a real talent.
2007-08-30 21:41:41 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋