Don't want to lose him...?

Question

I don't want to break up w/ my fiance... been together for 11 years. He wants a break-up (but seems to have a hard time actually doing it). He says he's not happy and wants his freedom. We were supossed to get married in 6 months. I LOVE him more than anything in the world!!!! I don't want to lose him. I want to marry him and make a family with him. WHAT SHOULD I DO????

Answer 1

why do you want to marry a man that doesn't want to be with you? i think you need to first accept the fact he wants out. if he wants out and doesn't get out, your relationship will be miserable.

let him go. it's unfortunate, but you have to do it.

Answer 2

To be honest with you I believe men go through stages on their lives. It gets to a point when they say I don't know what to do with my life, I'm confused, I'm missing something in my life and so on. It is not you at all, those are the kind of men that all their life are looking for something to fill them up and to be honest with you, they will be looking for ever because nothing will satisfied them, until they grow up and realize life is too short and they have to enjoy what they have to be happy. You can not make some one to love you or stay with you. I believe you when you say you love this man but if you love him let him go and then he will realize what he is losing. Don't go after him and give him his space he will start missing you when you are not there and start approaching you. You are not married yet that is a good thing perhaps take this time to explore your relationship with this man and see if he is worth it. Good luck and God bless you

Answer 3

If after 11 years u fiance thinks that he could tell u that he is not happy and needs his freedom girl why are u wasting ur time in this kick him out of ur life and get someone who understands u better

Answer 4

Wow!! 11 years is a long time to be together, and then suddenly say he want's his freedom!

Unfortunately, you cant make him stay, or make him love you. You should however, tell him that if he REALLY wants his freedom, then he needs to SH*T or GET OFF THE POT!
You don't need to be waiting around like his doormat while he decides what to do or waits for something better to come along! act as if you could care less, and more than likely he will come crawling back. Just don't let him use you!

You are better than that! :)

Good Luck!

Answer 5

HEAR WHAT HE SAID - and UNDERSTAND WHAT HE MEANS. Stop pretending he said "let's get married and have kids", because he said THE EXACT OPPOSITE - - this means you cannot and should no longer pursue a life with him. Any energy you put in to making this work will be a waste.

HE IS NOT WANTING MARRIAGE - HE WANTS HIS FREEDOM BACK. You SHOULD give him what he wants because if you DON'T, you will be more miserable than you are now later down the road.

Answer 6

I'm sorry to tell you this but there is absolutely nothing you can do to change another person. You can only change yourself and you need to start by telling yourself that you don't want a man that doesn't want you. What would be the point of that? I can tell you are heartbroken, but you will mend in time. Force yourself to go out with people you love... family and close friends. I know it's difficult to believe now, but someday you will be happy again, much happier than he ever made you.

Answer 7

Listen to me if your fiance and you have been toghether for 11 years and now he wants to break things off with you he is not happy with you and want his freedom, your suppose to get married in six months let me tell you something i would rather have him letting me know this now before i wallk down the aile and be truly hurt later, Even though you love him he doesnt feel the same way please let go and dont mess ujp your life with him.
good luck

Answer 8

I'm not sure if you can "win" him back, but guys tend to want what they can't have. They also want women who are confident, NOT clingy or needy. I suggest reading a great book called "Why Men Marry Bitches". It will help you see all the little things that may be driving a wedge between you. It was very enlightening to me. (My book is being passed around right now! lol) He may be getting cold feet? Hopefully, this book will help you get him to the alter. Good luck, please let know how you do.

Answer 9

I know its very hard... i had the same problem my fiance (now husband) told me the same thing 3 months before our wedding so i told him that i loved him with all my heart and that whatever he decided i would respect and that i didnt want to rush him into anything that he wasnt certain off... so he left and in exactly 2 days came back... now in your case it might be diffrent since youve been together for 11 yrs.. he might of seen something in you that he might not want for the rest of his life... or maybe there wedding jitters... whatever it is let him have his space... remember the famous saying " if it leaves and comes back its yours but if it leaves and never comes back it was never your" well it goes soemthing like that...

Answer 10

You have my sympathy. This is a very difficult situation. Count your blessings. You would be miserable in the long run. I don't mean to be harsh, but based on what you've shared...he is probably already seeing someone else. Move on. Your family and friends, have more than likely given you this advice a long time ago. Best Wishes !

Answer 11

Kinda sounds like he wants to sow his wild oats before he settles down. OR he's interested in someone and debating on whether or not he wants to pursue this person. If I were you I'd come right out and ask him if he's interested in someone or is looking to play the field for some reason. If he's not, maybe he's just needing some changes in his life. It does sound like he has feelings for you because you two are still together. BUT, there is something going on. Maybe you need to start having date nights again or he might be needing you two to spice things up in the bedroom.