I have a real nasty husband, have asked loads of qn's about him in past over his bullying and now we are divorcing I need to find my balls. His favorite trick is putting our 3 children into 'risk' situations to gain the upper hand and label me unfit. He knows I am a good parent and more than capable of caring for the children and is very jealous of that so is playing dirty tricks to gain favour. I am not used to this and am actually petrified of the man, but more scared for my children who he is definatley using to hurt me.
Has anyone else been through this horror?
2007-08-30 12:27:41 · 11 answers · asked by ? 6 in News & Events ➔ Current Events
I know it's not current events as such, but very current to me and where there are folk I know a bit. Sorry if it offends
2007-08-30 12:45:16 · update #1
Am really sorry you're going thru' this...
Rest assured you'll see it thru' like the strong woman you are!
I suggest:
1.Get a good social worker to study the case. They have legal contacts & once she/he knows what the creep is up to, his dirty tricks won't hold any water.
2.Get the help & support of friends, relatives & a support group who can give your children the comfort zone they need.
3.Try not to let him know you're scared. Its hard, i know. But try imaging the the worst possible scenario & then equipping yourself emotionally & physically for it.
All the best,
Take care,
Keep in touch,
xxx
2007-08-30 21:00:34 · answer #1 · answered by Faith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My dear there is absolutely nothing offencive about you. I assume if you are getting divorced that you have enlisted the services of a lawyer. Make them aware of your circumstances and they will put you in the right direction to get extra support.
I don't have children but I have lived with a Bully. They rely on the fact that you are petrified of them. His using your children, of course, as weakness. This is unforgivable. You can use this as your strength. Let them be your driving force.
I'm not suggesting for one moment that you manipulate their presence in the way he does, but allow this love to provide your strength.
Once you are further into the seperation proceedure you will start to see how strong you are. Then the Bully will not be quite so frightening and you will see how weak he really is.
Your getting there babe.
2007-08-30 21:19:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Goblina - never been in this situation, thank Christ. My husband is a star. Don't get me wrong, we've had our ups and downs but came through it all with flying colours and are very close now. Most of our problems were caused through drink but we've definitely got our acts together where that's concerned. Haven't you got a friend or family member who can stay with you on a permanent basis - or at least until your divorce is final? I think I remember seeing one of your questions before and you got a hell of a lot of good advice from some nice folks. Try putting some in to practice - like writing or recording everything, etc I wish I could meet your hubby - I'd really like to punch his lights out, rotten bastard.
2007-08-30 12:36:07 · answer #3 · answered by Tamayah 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Next time he comes over to pick up the kids? Wrap some yellow police tape all over your front yard and dont answer the door. When he freaks out and kicks the door in, tell him Surprise! Then tell him that is how you feel all the time when he has the kids. The man you married, is not a real man. A real man does not have these type of problems. I am sorry but he needs help with his thinking.
2007-08-30 12:35:56 · answer #4 · answered by BudLt 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
this sack of s*** is after a reaction don't give him the one he wants perhaps you should look into supervised access to children.He knows what buttons to press are their any friends or family whom could help with this as in using as a pick up and drop off point for the children HE IS A COWARD. I have been through this myself as a child my ex wife is using the kids but i don't rise to it they will see it all for themselves.I wish you the best and i hope you get the support you need
2007-08-30 12:50:51 · answer #5 · answered by golden 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No sorry, sounds like you're doing the right thing in getting rid of him.
Good luck, be brave - hope it all works out for you and your kids xx
2007-08-30 12:33:16 · answer #6 · answered by Delly xx 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if there is any chance he will harm your children to get to you, you need to make sure that he does not have unsupervised access to them, see professional help from a solicitor specialising in family law. good luck to you i hope it works out ok. xx
2007-08-31 10:10:38 · answer #7 · answered by Dolly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the behaviour of many men makes me ashamed of my gender
try to use your immediate support network to ensure no blame can be attached to you
ensure that you do not fall into using the kids as pawns
good luck
2007-08-30 20:52:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
get a good divorce attorney.
2007-08-30 15:19:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Britney spears.
2007-08-30 12:31:40 · answer #10 · answered by @NGEL B@BY 7 · 2⤊ 4⤋