She is under 18, we are not married, she took the emergency contriceptive and is now 4 days late, we took a test and it came up possitive, she wont tell her parents, because they will kick her out. The thought of being teenage parents is pretty horrible but so it the thought of termination of the pregnancy.
I'm not sure how to react or what to do, so far i've just settled her down abit and told her we will get another test and have a look tomorrow to make sure its certain, If she wants to keep it or adopt it, i said i will support her, but termination would I suppose leave her life intact apart from the mental side, but i dont have the money to just hand over, then there is the moral side to termination. Anyway any help is appreciated.
2007-08-30 12:26:45 · 19 answers · asked by Stevie 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
She needs to tell her parents, and let them know she is scared. I got pregnant at 17, I was sick to my stomach with nerves when it came time to tell my mom and dad... but it wasn't that bad, they get over it, once it is done, it's done, there is no turning back, so they will have to deal with it regardless. As far as termination, now way! If you don't want the baby, there are tons of people out there waiting to adopt a baby. You need to step up now, and be there to support her. Get a job, etc. I know at a young age it is hard, but now you have to take responsibility for your actions. I wish you luck in whatever u decide.
2007-08-30 12:35:36 · answer #1 · answered by cari210kel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that baby is growing every minute --you sure weren't thinking of this when you were making love--so no plans means make some plans--get a job--get a house--marry her. If her parents do overreact, you can face jail time--rape is the crime and consent means nothing with a minor involved. Hope you don't have to go to prison because that baby needs a father and she needs a husband. besides--rapists have a crummy time in jail--not at all fun. So you better talk to her family and your family and get set up for the future like a man. You two are not the first to be in this dilemma--that's why there are books written on this. truth is--you are going to be a dad..and she is going to be a mom.Good luck
2007-08-31 16:56:05 · answer #2 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry I'm saying this, but it's partly your fault for using no protection or not making sure she was on the pill.... oh well. And abortion... you gotta stay by her.... if money's the issue, you'll get it somehow..... Or you could adopt it out. Once she's certain ask her if she wants an abortion, and if she says yes, ask her to consider adoption.... if she wants the kid, then support her. She needs you. You guys shouldn't have all this pressure at such an early age, and I know its not fair. She'll have to tell her parents some time. Maybe she could stay with you? Or both of you could move out and get an apartment for yourselves... This is a huge commitment....
2007-08-30 19:41:48 · answer #3 · answered by Lizzie. All. Over. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anyone can really help here. You have to make this decision for yourselves. If she had a positive test, it is positive. There are almost never false positives. Sorry. You will have to decide what you want to do here, but make sure you can live with whichever way you go. If you decide to keep the child and not adopt or abort, then stand by that decision and do the best things for your child. I don't know a single person who wishes they hadn't had their child, even as a teen though.
Good luck!
2007-08-30 19:34:36 · answer #4 · answered by Kali's Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be scared, being a parent is the hardest job a mother and father can have. You two need to deal with this situation the same way you dealt with making the baby, together. It's so easy for someone to tell you to put the child up for adoption or have an abortion. Have the child and tell her parents. You two have to learn from this are you will continually keep making this same mistake. Adoption and abortion are not birth controls.
2007-08-30 21:05:50 · answer #5 · answered by KSR 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, someone has to fess up, and someone has to make plans for the baby.
I guess this means that after you guys find out for sure, you take the positive test to her parents AND yours, and take the repercussions. You can talk about abortion then if you want to, adoption if that appeals, keeping the baby if you want to try parenting. You should also talk about college and marriage.
Try and get some counseling before you make up your minds. Most abortions need to take place in the first 12 weeks, so that's something to keep in mind.
2007-08-30 19:44:54 · answer #6 · answered by M L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are doing the right thing, talking to her and caring about her. If you two can try to relax for about a week before you retest, that might help. The emergency contraceptive could definitely be causing a late period, but they don't have pregnancy hormones in them, so it is tough to say. The only people who can decide are you two and hopefully with your support she can make the best choice for herself. Don't tell her parents just yet, wait a week and test again.
2007-08-30 20:12:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truly the decision isn't yours to make however if you are talking about advising her about what to do then you are best off to tell her that whatever she decides to do is okay with you. She is under 18 and cant get an abortion without parental consent-so no matter what they are going to find out and she should tell them right away.
Please realize that if she decides to keep the child you will have to pay child support and perhaps part of the cost of delivery etc. And if she is under 16 that the authorities could press charges against you.
2007-08-30 20:18:06 · answer #8 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off she needs to tell her parents. They can't really kick her out because she is underage. They maybe mad and all but they'll get over it. I honestly don't think terminating is a good idea. But that's because I am against abortion. I think she should have the child and give it up for adoption. It maybe hard for her to give up the kid, it may be hard for you to. But if she keeps the baby, she'll have to give up a lot. She'll probably have to stop going to school cuz I highly doubt her parents are going to take care of it. But it's up to you two what you do.
2007-08-30 20:11:18 · answer #9 · answered by marissa l 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Right now, it really is important for your girlfriend's parents to know about this. I don't think her parents would kick her out. Disappointed, yes. But so angry to the point of kicking her out? No.
If the both of you decide to keep the baby, I suggest you to get a job, right away.
2007-08-30 19:35:03 · answer #10 · answered by Irene \m/. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋