How much work is a stay at home mum expected to do?

Question

I am a mother of 4 children (thankfully no teenagers yet!), twin toddlers and two slightly older children - one home-educated.
I really don't feel as though I acheive much each day and I get the impression my husband thinks the same and yet I am rarely off my feet and when I am it's because I am fed up/tired. Really - I need lots of detail here. What do other mums manage to achieve each day? What would be considered absolute essential tasks each day, what could be done each week, etc, etc. How many groups should I take my children to each week, how many visits to park, how much time should they spend outside each day, how often should we spend with grandparents and greatgrandparents, bearing in mind we are not particularly close, though live nearby. How much individual time should I give my children, how much time should I give to my husband (how much of it should be devoted to sex?). I need some guidance/peace of mind and would really appreciate any help you can give. Thank you.

Answer 1

OK...... I am a stay-at-home with 2 toddlers and I also run 2 businesses from my home. I sell Mary Kay Cosmetics and own a family child care. I rarely have time to get anything done except for unloading and reloading the dishes/dishwasher. I do about 1-2 loads of laundry a day and sweep the kitchen floor. My husband comes home for lunch every day and I have lunch ready for him. He does his own laundry and 50% of the time he makes dinner. I don't feel like I accomplish much in a day but I am getting used to it. I would much rather play with my kids then waste my time doing chores. My husband never complains and he knows that if he did I would tell him to do it himself if he wants it done. If you can get the floors mopped twice a week, dust once a week, clean the bathroom as needed, do dishes at least once a day and laundry as needed, then that is plenty!
If you can get to a mommy and me play group twice a week, see grandparents at least once a month and you and your husband need to get out at least once a month without kids (get a babysitter) and go to a movie, dinner, play, comedy club or just go shopping and make time for sex at least once a week.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

You have four kids and now you asking,that's a little funny to me,are you having a problem keeping up with everything. It's hard being a mother a wife a housekeeper a lover a teacher a chauffeur a maid a doctor a entertainer an enforcer. This is what a wife/mother is every single day is it any wonder we wives can't always be this cheerful lovable wife when the husband walks in the front door. Talk about jack of all trades that's us.So to all you men out there cut us a brake all you have to worry about is your 9 to 5 job. I know I'm off the question but i couldn't help myself,i just want you to know your not alone.

Answer 4

this has year has been my first year as a stay at home mom and in the beginning i felt the same way. well I wake up at 8am cook breakfast, then get my son dressed and go over the days lesson ( just abc's, 123's, colors etc he's only 2 1/2). by then it's about 1130 or 12. I prepare and serve lunch. after lunch he takes about a 2 hour nap. while he's sleeping I do the chores around the house. When he wakes up we go to the park or just outside then we run errands. By the time we get home it's time to cook dinner. then my husband comes home sit down and eat dinner together. after dinner i give my son a bath and clean the kitchen. when he's asleep my husband and i have "quality time". My husband is in Iraq right now so it's just been me by myself after i put my son to sleep but after everything that i do during the day i'm tired, and i'm sure you are too especially with 4 children. you or your husband shouldn't feel like you do nothing. raising 4 children is a whole lot of something.

Answer 5

First off, you need to relax. Modern Moms often make their lives way to complicated by trying to do it all and that applies to stay at home Moms too. Consider yourself fortunate that you can stay at home. Learn to cherish this time and have fun! It will be gone before you know it.

Sit down with your family, (husband included) and make a schedule and calander of the things that absolutly have to be done. Assign every one chores according to their ability. Even four and five year olds can help with dinner preperations, making beds, picking up toys and learning how to put away clean clothes. Do not let your husband leave all of the child rearing to you just because you stay at home. Schedule in a couple nights a month for him to take the kids out to dinner why you stay home and relax with a bubblebath and a glass of wine, (or whatever relaxation is to you) He should spend some time alone with them, together and individually, on the week-ends, so that you can have some down time too. He needs to realize that if you are happy and well rested, you will have more time for making love and alot more energy to put into it. Make sure that you take the time to dress up sexy and style your hair and spend a night out with him at least once a week. Moms often make the mistake of falling into the mommy mode and forget how to be a wife.

Once the neccessaties are scheduled in, I think you will be surprised at how much time you will have left over to spend with extended family memebrs and friends. Can you schedule your sons school lessons during the time that your younger ones are napping? Forget about having the perfect house, thes perfect meals, (eat simply and healthy) and the perfect life. Go to the park every day if you want, take the kids kite flying, take mini trips with your husband.

Make life about living, not making a living. When you and your husband are sitting back one day in your rocking chairs laughing with your grandchildren, will you remember the times when your house was less than clean, or you had to wear dirty socks a few times? No... your memories and those of your children will always be of the times you spent with eachother, a gift that cant be repeated in one lifetime.

Answer 6

Well I'm a stay-home mom of just ONE child and I rarely get 1/2 of the things done that I would like to accomplish.

My husband NEVER says a word about how the house looks, when dinner will be ready or ANYTHING --- he knows better.

My little one recently started pre-k -- but before that she was home all day, everyday and I was lucky to keep up the laundry and take her for a play date one time each week.

Don't be so hard on yourself and if your husband has gripes about things,well tell him to feel free to pitch in and help.

Answer 7

If you keep the kids alive on a daily basis then everything else is above and beyond.

You aren't a servant to your kids or your husband. Measure your success in your families happiness and adjust accordingly.

If you don't take time for yourself, you will be unhappy. If you are unhappy it will roll downhill to the rest of your family. A happy mom is an effective mom.

Answer 8

I know it seems like you do ALOT of work... and you may... but a stay at home mom is expected to do all those things now if you dont want too get a job and pay someone else to do it...

Answer 9

Wow, I am not a Mom, but I honor you for all you do. I have not got the experience to advise you, I apologize for that, but I sure respect what you are doing.

Answer 10

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