Heartless because I don't cry?

Question

Am I heartless because I never cried when my great grandmother died though I only met her for only 2 months since she live in a different country. I also didn't cry when my dog died when I had it since it was a baby. I could never shed a teardrop. Only time I have cried is when My girlfriend(now ex) relationship was on a cliff and a very sad movie. Another time is when my something happened to our family my sister was crying but I couldn't shed a tear. (Something happened to family but nothing serious happened just somebody had a fever). Am I that heartless I am willing to repay my debt at any cost.

Answer 1

Everyone shows their emotions for things in different ways; it doesn't mean you werent sad, you just express it different.

Answer 2

First, what are you talking about? What debt?

As far as heartless. Not being able to cry is not heartless. Some people don't cry.
Did you feel any lost when she died. Yes you didn't know her. But to me it's the fact that you didn't know her that should make you sad. She was your history. Her knowledge in life. The lessons that she has learned. And could have taught you.
When my grands died I felt this lost. I remember her from the too few that was allowed to be with her (family feuds). When I was little. And those times were great. So I felt that could have learned how to a good mother and woman from her. but if u didn't have parents that lacked in common sense. You wouldn't feel this lost .

Answer 3

Just because you didn't have a single tear drop from your eyes would mean you are heartless. Ofcourse not! There are people i knew who have a strong heart to death, tragedy and similar cases. It is only that you have not belonged on a soft-hearted side. But this does not necessarily you are heartless. Crying is one way of being emotional whatever the circumstances are, What is important is the inner feeling within you. This is what it counts and don't pretend to cry just to please others. Be what you are because it is what you are.

Be natural and you don't need to pay for thinking of it. God bless. I believe you are a strong leader. You have the same character of our president of the land. Philippine President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo. She is a very strong president although a petite and small. She has the heart for tragic events, death, etc, only that you cannot see from her face that she have to cry. However it could be seen from her face the emotional burden. That's why don't ever worry.

Answer 4

No, no & no. I have never cried, & have been critized on this site as having no feelings, or being in denial. Lectured that crying is a "release" & "cleanses the "grief."
I've had quite a few tragedies in my life & my sensitivity is very strong; however it isn't my nature to cry. Someone close to me once said I was simply trying to be "macho." I analyzed myself objectively, (as I would a client), even though I'd never felt I was "abnormal." I discovered some interesting truths.

After the death of someone, only in solitude am I able to accept, "come to terms," & even gain insights; crying would serve no constructive purpose.
I perceive crying as compounding, & validating an emotional response that most often focuses on the living person, as their "loss," how much they will miss the other, rather than on the one who died. (Would that not be selfish?)
If others are sharing the death, & one starts to weep, others tend to do the same & deepen the wound with their overwhelming sadness.
I have "lost" my parents, friends, beloved animal companions, & my husband. Yet I don't perceive this as loss. They continue to be "with" me as those much valued, & glad to have had them in my life. My memories are good, little things will remind me of them, & I always smile.
In any crisis, crying drains strength one needs to do their best, with calm & good judgement.

To those people who cry easily (& long), & who candidly admit that they fall apart, I can only say--that is their way. But it's not mine. I suggest you not question who YOU are, nor listen to anyone who disagrees with you. (I could easily have criticized the foolishness of crying, & the reality that crying "heals" nothing, but that is their province.)
I don't believe for a moment that you're "heartless," what possible debt could you owe? To whom?

Answer 5

No you are not heartless. You just have a strong heart, for things don't seem to get to you. I am the same way I almost never cry, but I am not a heartless person. Or maybe you just need to let yourself open up to others a little more.

Answer 6

Seams you have to develop compassion and empathy. It is a very natural thing to cry for others suffering. We don't need to lament about our own problems or feeling of lack or the deaths of others, because the soul never dies, only the body dies. I would just work on your feeling compassion for others suffering and feel empathy for them and eventually you may cry. Serve others do some community service, pray, If one has no relationship with God (also known as Krishna, Allah, Vishnu, Jehovah, etc.) it is actually not possible to have compassion in the actual sense. I can pray for you if you like, but I will only do that if you ask me to. Write if you like. Even the great saints and spiritual masters cry often out of compassion for the suffering of the conditioned souls. Peace and Love to you. Your Servant JSdd

Answer 7

No you aren't heartless. My husband's mom just died and he never cried. I have seen him cry like twice in the 24 years that I have know him. He is just not emotional like that. I, on the other hand, cry at Hallmark commmercials. Everyone is different.

Answer 8

No you are not heartless. Everyone responds to grief differently. Don't beat yourself up. You don't have to cry. Express your feelings naturally, as you feel them. You don't have to answer to anyone. Maybe you have become very good at stifling your emotions. So good that they are even hidden from yourself. It can be a cruel world. Sometimes it's better not to cry.

Be yourself. The only one you answer to is the one in the mirror.

Answer 9

You're definitely not heartless because you don't express your emotions through your eyes. Some people choose to hold on to things, and while crying can be interpreted as "cathartic" or a kind of release from those emotions/feelings, some people may choose to keep them in order to ponder them, understand them, and learn from them.

Answer 10

No. People usually cry when they feel helpless.
If you knew you're grandmother better, you may have been more sad.
Besides, in my opinion it makes more sense to mourn the living than the dead. Dead people aren't sad. They don't wish they were back.
There is only one completely selfless reason to cry for a dead person: You wish they could've experienced more.

Answer 11

No
Some things strike people in different manners.
I didn't cry when my maternal grandmother died. I was actually relieved because she was 93 and had bad health and altzheimers.
I have cried out of frustration and not sadness.