ok i guess i might be blowing a little steam..but anyways my stepsister told me today that she wasnt preg anymore she had an abortion..she asked me if i was mad i said well yea because there is people out there that cant have babys and then theres people like her that can and they just think they can kill their baby..and the reason she had an abortion is because she was preg.by a married man..oh whats wrong with people..anyways i told her that she was going to have to carrie the burden on her shoulder the rest of her life..then she said well later on in the future i am going to have kids..so should i be mad and not talk to her anymore?should i let it go?or what should i do..that broke my heart..yall let me know please..
2007-08-30 11:12:09 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You have no place to judge her, be angry with her, or shun her for the rest of your life. You are not the one who got her pregnant. That is between her and the father of the child. She did what she thought was best for her.
2007-08-30 11:15:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 5⤋
I can see where you are coming from. I think she should have carried the baby and then gave the baby up for an adoption instead of having an abortion. I have some friends that got pregnant at a young age and they had an abortion and now that they are older they told me that they should have had there baby's and gave them up for adoption.
The reason why I know where you are coming from is because I was young when I got pregnant with my first child and I thought about an abortion and then I said"no you will be killing a person". Then I was thinking about giving him up for and adoption until I had seen him and I couldn't give him up. His brother and him are the joy of my life and I would do anything for them and I would protect them. You are right she will have to carry that burden for the rest of her life. You should tell her how you feel. You shouldn't stop talking to her.
2007-08-30 11:29:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know that regardless of how you feel about it, right or wrong, you shouldnt judge her. Everyone has to make decisions that are best for them at the time. If it bothers you then ask her or tell her you wont talk about it. Or maybe you want to just let it out, talk it over and then let it go. Would you have been prepared to take care of this child and all that goes along with it? I'm not saying it's right. I myself am trying to adopt a child(but being single, its more difficult because birth moms always want to choose a 2 parent family), but I can maybe see where she is coming from.
Abortion should not be used as a way of birth control. And I am sure there will be times in her future or even when she does have children that she will remember and know what was lost. We all have lessons to learn here and somehow this was one for her. Dont judge her, but it's ok for you to disagree about it. I'm sorry you were caught in the whole situation, but it can also help you live your life in a better way for yourself too.
Best of luck, you are in my thoughts, Sheri
2007-08-30 11:22:30 · answer #3 · answered by ponytails07 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, a large percentage of women who have abortions are never able to concieve again because when they scrape the lining of your uterus during the abortion, it permanantly damages it. If she does concieve, any future pregnacies will be considered high risk and her risk of miscarriage has more than doubled. I hope that she is aware of this.
Second, you should encourage her to go to grief couseling if she is upset or at least go see some kind of couselor. She's just been through something very emotional, whether she regrets it or not.
Third, tell her to stop sleeping around unless she likes slow, painful disease ridden deaths. STDs are not only a killjoy for the town doorknob but painful and deadly. Also, encourage her to get tested. BEG HER. It's very important.
As for if you should be mad, that would certainly be my initial reaction but acting accusingly toward her will not help her nor will it prevent any future abortions. Love your stepsister and perhaps encourage her to address the deeper issue she may be dealing with, as promiscuity is often the result of either previous rapes or sexual crimes against her or a cry for a father's love.
2007-08-30 11:25:04 · answer #4 · answered by alfeebester 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you have every right to be uspet about her choice to kill her baby, but being "mad" at her may not be the right approach. I think that she really needs support right now because clearly she isn't in the right frame of mind, or she wouldn't have committed murder. What's done is done and unfortunately there isnt any way to change it. I would just be there for her as much as possible and try to help her so that she doesnt make this same mistake again.
2007-08-30 11:19:52 · answer #5 · answered by Kristi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she should be neutered personally. Yes there are a lot of people TTC, and having problems, and it really annoys the HELL out of us when things like this happen.
My sister had an abortion. I was a little upset, as I would have loved to take care of the baby for her if she didn't want it. But I love my sister, and I wouldn't want her to go through anything she didn't want to. I think your sister shouldn't have told anyone if she didn't know if she was going to keep it or not. But you're allowed to tell her how you feel. Don't be judgemental instead of 'you hurt me' say 'i feel hurt by what you did.' this way she wont get as defensive and hopefully it will stay a discussion instead of an argument.
2007-08-30 11:22:52 · answer #6 · answered by A derka der 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well . . . if you two are friends, then let it go. Express how you feel and that you do not condone her decision. After you have said your peace, let it go. She made one mistake, true it's a big mistake but, it won't be the only mistake she will make. If you choose to hate her for her mistake, how will you act toward other friends mistakes? In addition, she is your step sister. It puts major stress on the whole family when two members don't get along. Is hating her the best thing for the entire family?
2007-08-30 11:21:01 · answer #7 · answered by Sweet 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's understandable that you would be mad. I think you should give you and her a little time and space to deal with your feelings about this, and use it to find a way to forgive her for the abortion. Forgiving her is not the same as approving of it. Unfortunately, we can't control what other people do with their lives. We can only live ours the best way we know how and try to treat others with compassion when we think they've made a mistake. Good luck.
2007-08-30 11:18:13 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs.P 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't condone having an abortion but at the same time I don't think you should be mad at her and stop talking to her. Like you said she is going to have to deal with it later. It was her choice. She is going to need your emotional support at some point so be there for her.
2007-08-30 11:21:20 · answer #9 · answered by London Catlover 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think I would even talk to my sister does anyone know what kind of pain the baby gos through or what they even do with the baby after the abortion? I can tell you E-Mail me if you want to know.
2007-08-30 14:12:54 · answer #10 · answered by Pro Life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to be angry, but not a right to judge her. It was her decision; one you do not agree with. Deciding to have an abortion is a huge decision. One I think that will weigh with her for the rest of her life. Your stepsister should reevaluate her relationship with the married man and decide if this is the type of life she wants. Guide her, but remember that your values aren't necessarily going to be hers.
2007-08-30 11:18:21 · answer #11 · answered by Mikki Sue71 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋