He doesn't give it to me when I want intimacy, now he wants it, should I make him work hard for it?
2007-08-30 11:04:44 · 37 answers · asked by 結縁 Heemei 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I did that in my marriage. Because my X-wife never would have sex when I initiated, I stopped initiating because I didn't want to be controlled by her. The outcome was no sex for either of us and we were both angry at the other for not having sex.
By the way, did I mention that she is my x-wife. Never deny the other person sex unless you are seriously ill. I wish we could have talked out the problem, you still have the chance to do that.
Why is he refusing you. Are you asking at a time when for some reason he can't? I am not saying that this is true, just saying that this is something to look at. My x-wife wouldn't have sex with me until 11:00pm at night.
I get energized afterwards and can't get to sleep for 2 hours. I had to get up at 5:30 in the morning! I "had" to say no to her at that time. Ask your husband why he is saying no, and work it out.
Make love not war:)
2007-08-30 20:51:19 · answer #1 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes. This is Your opportunity to take control. You could start by using "tease & denial" get him hot and then You say not now. Using the gates of hell or similar restriction device will train him and teach him discipline.
You could set tasks for him to do that, if done properly would him points toward intimacy; BUT, failure to do the tasks correctly or fast enough, or not at all will result in discipline. Of course You and You alone are the Judge of whether he gets points, or disciplined.
You have the power to control him, please take it now and educate him that You are his controller!!!
2007-08-31 01:13:28 · answer #2 · answered by sAm cbt 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whats good for the goose is good for the gander. Yeah, I mean I think it's sad that he makes you work for it. You all are married you should be willing and wanting to have intimacy with each other. He should not just blow your feeling off that is mean or at the very least disrespectful. Yeah I would make him work for it. Just not to hard, I mean if you do that or if he does that to you, it will usually start a fight. It also makes the other person feel unloved. Overall yeah make him work some for it. He did it to you know it's your turn to show him how it feels. Then maybe he will understand and not be so uncaring about your needs and wants as a woman. =)
2007-08-30 11:45:02 · answer #3 · answered by Prof. Dave 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
If you two are having some problems intimately, then it might be a good idea to make a sex plans. As strange, and probably unappealing as it sounds, it leaves you looking forward to the day, builds the want and need.
Other than that, talk to him. Explain how you feel about it. No one should be forced into it because they feel obligated.
2007-08-31 01:53:23 · answer #4 · answered by Ayana 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why do so many people think Tit for Tat actually works? It seems to me that neither of you are going to get what you want, with that attitude.
You are supposed to be a co-operative couple, working TOGETHER to ensure that you BOTH get what you want. Where's the give and take? Where's the gift of love? Where's the desire to make the other happy? I can't see it lasting long with that attitude.
2007-08-30 11:11:40 · answer #5 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Give it to him. Don't ruin your marriage for something stupid. Giving what your husbands wants might change your husband as well.
I would have done the same thing. My age is not much (17) but I think that you can have everything by giving something. That giving brings more love and it will strengthen your marriage.
2007-08-30 14:41:45 · answer #6 · answered by Sara 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think you two need to stop playing games with one another. If you two want to stay married, then you two need to meet each others "need". You give him what he needs and he gives you the same. Stop playing games!
Consider reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage."
2007-08-30 11:22:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
yeah, make him beg for it. Maybe even put him in a chastity device like a cb3000. Have some fun with it. Tell him you dont need him since you have a vibrator. hehe
2007-08-30 13:03:03 · answer #8 · answered by mista mista 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
be straight what made him do not intimate.
both are making same foolish things is not good.,
u should be first to know why he was not intimate.
enjoy the time and make out of a good marriage
2007-08-30 11:11:01 · answer #9 · answered by Jazzy 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You should tell him that it's not fair to not comply when you want it and he doesn't and he expects you to do it when he wants it. You shouldn't make him work for it though...that's just plain mean! If you are having these thoughts maybe your problems lie deeper than just sex.
2007-08-30 11:16:54 · answer #10 · answered by soccermaniac723 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋