Unfortunately, I have very little common sense.?

Question

Is there a way that you have found to increase your understanding of people and their motivations?

My boss suggested that I "read a book on it!"

I told him that I had already read two! LOL

What have you done through the years to increase your understanding?

He said, "You are one of the most intelligent men that I know but you have no common sense."

He's right ... at least about the common sense part.

Answer 1

Well, from you post I'd say that you most probably are living life based almost solely upon your own perceptions, feelings, discoveries, education, thought processes.

You need to recognize that you are you. You need to learn to separate you from other people instead of projecting yourself upon others. People are different from you, they come from other places, other backgrounds, other teachings, other experiences.
Wisdom about people comes from learning where your boundaries stop and theirs begins and not to project so much about your own identity onto other people.

That said, wisdom about people and their motivations, comes from your ability to separate yourself and draw boundaries between the life you've lived and the lives of others.

Answer 2

Perhaps just knowing you need to be more careful is enough. I drove a city bus for many years and talked to just about everybody from everywhere. Just when I would think that I had heard it all, someone would come along with something else. The job always kept up my faith in the creativeness of humans. I've had many jobs and most of them had me dealing with people on a one to one basis. I absolutely love people even though I want to ring their necks every so often. Maybe that's why I can tolerate being a landlord now. The lady I bought a duplex from told me that I was too soft and would never make it. Just because I'm smiling or laughing does not mean I believe it and many years later I'm still renting out those apartments. When I finally got aroung to college I met a lot of professors who had spent a great deal of their life becoming educated and didn't have much "street" experience. They always told me they liked to read my papers because I certainly had a different perspective than the students just coming out of high school. If you want a crash course in people, get a part-time job as a bartender.

Answer 3

Erik, I would consider that a compliment. Truthfully. At least you have compassion and love for others. I know this to be true by your questions and answers.

I have a son who is so intelligent but not so good with common sense which I think is okay. It is who you are. I would prefer you other some of the other types.

I tried to teach my kids to be "streetwise." It didn't take on all of them. I grew up being without common sense. It got hurt a lot by my peers in junior high school. I think that what we learn early on in life molds our character. You will have to learn to deal with the knocks and put a little padding in your heart. Hard to do, too. Now I have so much padding, that I wish I could remove some of it. LOL

I think I see why you want to leave your job. Your boss sounds like he is trying to make you feel very small. Don't let him. Believe in yourself, always.

Answer 4

Highly intelligent people look at and respond to situations a little differently than us "common" folks. That doesn't necessarily mean you are wrong in your approach to life's problems but you certainly take a different approach.

I have a few friends who are so smart, very high IQ. They can do so many things and are well educated. They seem to lack that practical skill of self-preservation. (Your boss calls this common sense?) Perhaps they see themselves as observers in the battles of life? They seem so unaware of verbal attacks by co-workers and the manipulation of supervisors. They would be better off if they could see the meanness in people. Thank goodness they are loved by their family and friends.

My suggestion: Read the book of Proverbs in the Old Testament of the Bible. You will increase your understanding of people and their motivations.

Answer 5

I think you have a problem. You have a problem with your job. Do you keep it or not? You have a problem with your expense account. As long as you have had the job you should understand what is expected on your expense report. You sound like you have a wife. Why not talk to her?

I don't want to be negative here, but I don't think common sense is something you can learn. Either you have it or you don't. I don't care how much time you spend with people, that is not going to rub off common sense on you.

Answer 6

Erik, you seem like a very intelligent man. You have gone out of your way to help someone who is less fortunate. That to me proves character. Common sense is a learned trait, developed through time and error. Much like street smarts.
I have known many people with NO common sense and really don't feel that you belong in that category:~)
Me, I'm guilty of the opposite. I have quite a bit of common sense. Just not real literal, I have two years college and a captains license. I'm content:~)

Answer 7

I think your boss is misguided. Perhaps because you are kind and give people the benefit of the doubt he sees that as lacking common sense. I would call that gullible or actually it is having faith in your fellow man. I hope you do not change. It would stand you good to be able to tell when you are being used by people. But that comes with age and practice and a downside to that is makes one cynical.

Answer 8

Don't feel badly, seemingly having less common sense is a common trait amongst highly intelligent people. I don't know what you can do to remedy the situation, but know that you're not alone!

Are you a person who is always moving fast, brain spinning from topic to topic and you can't slow down to watch people? Perhaps taking up people watching might be helpful. Airports, shopping malls, etc.

Answer 9

Wow! You sound like my husbands twin! LOL! Very cerebral but, stupid as the day is long when it comes to "common sense."

Since you are intelligent, I would recommend that you take some hard core psychology classes. What I mean...take classes where you have to literally observe behaviors and such. These will lend great insight into just how and why common sense exists.

Good luck!

Answer 10

If you had not been exposed to something, then you should not be expected to have "common sense" for it. Don't let somebody make you think negative about yourself. Everyone has their strong and weak points...EVERYONE! He said you were intelligent...hang on to that....that sounded about right. If there is some certain area he is referring to...then just scope it out more. Your intelligence will help you get the big picture and if you don't "see" things like other people....so what? They may not have the intelligence you have.....it all equals out. Don't sweat it.