I've been divorced for 5 years and enjoy spending time with my girlfriend. We spend every weekend together and see each other once or twice a week. I don't want to spend all my free time with her, though, but I am. How do I talk to her about respecting my desire to be away from her? I have no interest in dating other women, and would like to visit friends or family out of town occasionally. She gets a little jealous, in fact she got upset when I mentioned going to my high school reunion. I wouldn't even mind if she came, not at all, but she can't travel. Help!! Ok, maybe this should be in the Singles & Dating category but high school kids can't help me here.
2007-08-30 10:16:00 · 12 answers · asked by Nice Guy/Georgia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you need to tell her straight up....that she is smothering you...that you need some space...this may result in her dumping you altogether if she gets that upset about it...for some people they think they need to smother you and in effect, ruin the relationship...just go talk to her..for good or for bad
2007-08-30 10:20:24 · answer #1 · answered by sunbun 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you find out, can you let me know?
I am having a constant struggle with my need for independance and trying to see my guy as often as he would like to.
For me, I unfortunately end up blowing up at him when he is around too much LOL! I do tell him that I also am not looking and that I have no desire to be with anyone else physically, I guess some people just need the "quantity" and not just the "quality" of time together.
2007-08-30 17:24:12 · answer #2 · answered by kittykatsback 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone needs some personal time and space. This is nothing for her to be upset about. Tell her that since she can't travel, you will be going to visit friends/family out of town alone. Give her a call to let her know you're thinking about her while you're gone. Enjoy yourself.
2007-08-30 17:24:27 · answer #3 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most all women seek a committment from their guy. If their desire is to be committed to you, they want you to reciprocate and be committed to them. If you are seeking your freedom from her by not being with her all the time, then she sees that as not being committed, and even wonders who else you are seeing when you are not with her. You didnt say how long you have been in this relationship, but if its been more than a few months, she wants you to committ or cut her loose so she can seek committment from someone else. If she is past her mid twenties, this would be especially true, as she is looking toward her future, and knows that if she is to find THE man in her life, she better do it quickly.
2007-08-30 17:28:19 · answer #4 · answered by handymanmike 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Georgia....if she can't travel....then you should be able to. My opinion is that we probably only have one life....who knows? We need to be able to live our lives in a manner that we are comfortable with. To find a partner who shares our ideas is hard, it is hard to find some one who doesn't share your ideas but is willing to work with them. If you were to marry this woman, you would probably find yourself completely tied to the arm chair. Talk to her and see if you can work it out. Tell her how you feel, really feel and see what you come away with....who knows maybe someone at your reunion will be better suited for you....maybe this woman is the one and you guys just need to iron things out....from the way it sounds I doubt it though.
2007-08-30 17:25:26 · answer #5 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a 28 year young lady and you just need to tell her. Obviously it's not that serious for an all out committment. She may be thinking that you are cheating because so many men do these days. You just tell her how you feel and what you are going to do.It's just that simple.
2007-08-30 17:35:11 · answer #6 · answered by legallyblonde3333 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her exactly what you told us. Jealousy is usually just the tip of the iceberg and a big red flag, so watch out for that. Reassure her that you're not interested in dating other people, but she can't control your whole life.
2007-08-30 17:22:49 · answer #7 · answered by sanguis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Insecurity and jealosy is the root of all evil.
You been married an divorced and know what you DON"t want.
My advice: Find a mature, down to earth gf that can cope on her own.
Good luck
2007-08-30 17:21:19 · answer #8 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You inform her of your plans to go here or there, and she needs to understand. If she doesn't, it is really HER problem, not yours. Be nice but firm; she doesn't own you.
2007-08-30 17:37:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her insecurities could get worse. Since you are dating, why risk it? Dump her.
.
2007-08-30 17:28:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋