I'm going to try to make this short & sweet. His mom has divorced from her husband of 5 yrs. He has been a model stepdad. She is letting him have visitation. ie weekends, picking up from school, ect. My husband is not happy cuz we had to fight for every min spent with my sson.(he's 9) They live 3 hrs away so we haven't had the chance to do as many things as the stepdad will. I told my hubby there's nothing we can do about it as long as we get court ordered visitation. And that basically it's not "fair" but there's nothing we can do unless she or the stepdad are harming in some way. Dang…..so this is why God wants us to keep it in our pants and not divorce!
I would sincerely appreciate some heart felt advice. Thanks!
2007-08-30 08:47:51 · 5 answers · asked by Lakin J 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Life is not always fair and it is always best to react to a situation as you would like someone else to react if the tables were turned.
2007-08-30 09:05:31 · answer #1 · answered by DavidV 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would think your husband would feel blessed his son has a some what easy transistion in this situation. Certainly, the child had nothing to do with the divorce, why should he pay the price ? If the Step-Dad isn't infringing on the real Dad's time, what's the problem ?
2007-08-30 16:01:21 · answer #2 · answered by Ruth L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do the best you can do when you have him. My ex husband and I have joint custody of our daughter. Everything is 50/50. It's really hard for her to go back and forth like she does. I wish she could live with me the majority of the time. I just think it would be easier for her. It's not about who gets to see the child more. It's about what the judge thinks is the best for the child.
2007-08-30 15:56:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There really isn't any advice anyone can give you.
I must admit, though, that it sounds like your husband needs to be more mature about the situation.
2007-08-30 15:55:30 · answer #4 · answered by Mathsorcerer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might begin by some self-examination.
If you want to learn about the subject without having to sort through a lot of anonymous answers by strangers, about whom you know nothing, including whether they know anything, there's a way to learn.
The reading list below can act as a source for you. Most of the titles can be found in your local library. If they don't have them they can borrow them from another library.
Boundaries-Relationships-Charles-Whitfield
http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Relationships-Charles-Whitfield/dp/155874259X/ref=sr_1_1/002-3352010-2594421?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188488699&sr=1-1
Boundaries-Marriage-Workbook-Henry-Cloud
http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Marriage-Workbook-Henry-Cloud/dp/0310228751/ref=sr_1_4/002-3352010-2594421?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188488699&sr=1-4
Boundaries-Workbook-Dr-Henry-Cloud
http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Workbook-Dr-Henry-Cloud/dp/0310494818/ref=sr_1_6/002-3352010-2594421?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188488699&sr=1-6
Parents-Teens-Boundaries-Draw-Line
http://www.amazon.com/Parents-Teens-Boundaries-Draw-Line/dp/1558742794/ref=sr_1_7/002-3352010-2594421?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188488699&sr=1-7
Setting-Limits-Your-Strong-Willed-Child
http://www.amazon.com/Setting-Limits-Your-Strong-Willed-Child/dp/0761521364/ref=sr_1_12/002-3352010-2594421?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188488699&sr=1-12
Addiction-Love-Overcoming-Dependency-Relationships
http://www.amazon.com/Addiction-Love-Overcoming-Dependency-Relationships/dp/1587612399/ref=sr_1_1/002-3352010-2594421?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188489018&sr=1-1
Verderber-Verderbers-Inter-Act-Interpersonal-Communication
http://www.amazon.com/Verderber-Verderbers-Inter-Act-Interpersonal-Communication/dp/0195169107/ref=sr_1_7/002-3352010-2594421?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188489018&sr=1-7
Addicted-Love-Recovering-Dependencies-Relationships
http://www.amazon.com/Addicted-Love-Recovering-Dependencies-Relationships/dp/0892836997/ref=sr_1_2/002-3352010-2594421?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188489204&sr=1-2
Counter-dependency-Janae-Weinhold-Ph-Barry
http://www.amazon.com/Counter-dependency-Janae-Weinhold-Ph-Barry/dp/1412012899/ref=sr_1_3/002-3352010-2594421?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188489204&sr=1-3
Co-dependency-Breaking-Entangled-Relationships-Serendipity
http://www.amazon.com/Co-dependency-Breaking-Entangled-Relationships-Serendipity/dp/B000UO9LFG/ref=sr_1_4/002-3352010-2594421?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188489204&sr=1-4
Stupid-Things-Couples-Their-Relationships
http://www.amazon.com/Stupid-Things-Couples-Their-Relationships/dp/0060512601/ref=sr_1_5/002-3352010-2594421?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188489204&sr=1-5
Yourself-Abusive-Relationship-Richard-Kraus
http://www.amazon.com/Yourself-Abusive-Relationship-Richard-Kraus/dp/0897932579/ref=sr_1_8/002-3352010-2594421?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188489204&sr=1-8
Codependent-No-More-How to Quit Controlling Others and Start Caring For Yourself
http://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No-More-Controlling-Yourself/dp/0894864025/ref=sr_1_9/002-3352010-2594421?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188489204&sr=1-9
2007-08-30 16:28:35 · answer #5 · answered by Jack P 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋