I hear alot about divorce and how hard it is and how long it takes to get over it. Doesn't anyone feel happier and relieved to be out of a really bad relationship? I'm not advocating divorce, but it just seems that sometimes it IS the best thing that can be done.
Any happily divorced stories to share? Thanks.
2007-08-30 08:11:02 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My fiance got divorced a couple years ago. I don't want to say it was a "happy" divorce by any stretch, but it was fairly uneventful. No children were involved and things were divided 50/50. They both fell out of love and we not able to make it work. In the end, it was best for the two of them.
I do believe that most marriages can work if both are willing to try. Many people think they are unhappy simply because of their marriage and then once it is over, they find they are still not happy. It is more complicated than that. Marriage is tough and divorce can be tougher.
2007-08-30 08:19:42 · answer #1 · answered by Kim 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am a very happily divorced woman!!! After being married for 9 years, having 2 wonderful children and what I thought to be a good life, I had no problem getting a divorce. It seems that my ex thought it was ok to lead another totally separate life, non existant to me and our children. I would not change a thing about my decision to get a divorce other than it should have happened a long time ago! Now my children and I are happy we come and go as we please. I do not have to worry about someone telling me horrific stories about my husband and being caught totally off guard by what they were saying. I have such a peace about the way things have turned out for me.
Anyhow that is a summary of my story, and yes there is happiness after divorce!
2007-08-30 15:33:23 · answer #2 · answered by ♥chicks♥ 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to mention that you're not advocating divorce. I know that many people think that couples throw in the towel too soon, but let me tell you something first hand. Sometimes people give and give and give until it takes a mental and physical toll on them and when the other person gives jack squat, it's time to get separated. After getting separated when the other person (and obviously I'm referring to my soon-to-be ex-husband) still gives jack squat and you decide to send off divorce papers, trust me, it is STILL extremely hard, sad, painful, and depressing. And of course you then live life and wake up everyday and go on...and time does indeed, do its job. And then one day you wake up and you feel like life has handed you a freaking gift with an extra big fat red bow and the sun shines brighter, and your children laugh louder, and you begin to smile and notice things you never did....and all of a sudden a new page to a brand new book reads: Guess what? Life is yours again for the taking--now make it happen. And it's pure BLISS.
2007-08-30 15:36:40 · answer #3 · answered by Virgo 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
No divorces are really happy... because they deal with dreams that never came true and failure....failure in making it work, failure is adjusting, and failure in one's own judgment. We are, at least most of us are, designed to be partnered.... evolution just made us that way. And we all want the butterflies to last forever... They don't. And raising children is not the picnic all of us wish it were.
So, we are disappointed when our partners aren't or can't be all we want them to be, and we as well are disappointed when we can't be something we ought to be... better parents, better partners..... Sometimes divorce is an acceptance of the lesser of two evils.... how can one stay in a marriage and be happy if one's partner has cheated, AND remain in that marriage and keep one's self esteem? If only 20% of marriages continue past 2 years after betrayal, why bother?
So, there are no happy divorces, just acceptance. In times when no one lived much past age 40 or 50, divorce wasn't an issue. Interestingly, the percentage of women admitted to psychiactric wards in the 1920's has dropped by the same percentages as divorces have gone up by the 1980's. In 1920, divorce was unacceptable so women stayed no matter what.
2007-08-30 15:48:11 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Divorced people are half of a bad relationship, and that half, more often than not, stays with them.
It's the truth. Statistically, more than 2/3rds of 2nd marriages will fail, and it goes up to about 3/4ths for 3 or more marriages.
So whoever is busy with the thumbs down, the statistics don't lie: most of the time divorced people never work out their issues, and they don't learn most of the time.
2007-08-30 15:32:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
well i got out of a relationship about a year ago we were together for 16 yrs so i guess you could say we were considered married and gee does it feel good to have left him i feel great now im with this guy who also was married and got divorced about 21/2 yrs ago we are both so happy to have left these crazy people that we were once married to and the good thing is that we dont even think about our ex's because were all into eachother were soooo happy
2007-08-30 15:27:15 · answer #6 · answered by valrietorres 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When I divorced my first husband, I was extremely happy. Knew I was not 'in it for the long haul' and was honest with him and we remain friends to this very day. I enjoyed being single again; getting involved in activities I love; meeting new people. If you take out the 'bitterness' and 'blame' after divorcing, you are set free to enjoy life and all it brings.
2007-08-30 15:18:19 · answer #7 · answered by pussycat 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can't say I'm happy, yet, but I am out of the depths of misery that I was in during the last few years of my marriage.
My ex had gone from an occasional pot smoker to a heavy pot (2 ounces a month) and prescription drug abuser. He quit his job, got himself a comfy chair, and made everyone else miserable.
In addition to his lethargy broken by regular tantrums, he had no impulse control and rang up huge credit card debts. Since we are in a community property state, I got stuck with them, too.
Now, my life is more peaceful, and the stress related conditions that plagued me and the kids are gone. I am working my way out of debt, and look to the future with hope, not despair.
My ex is plunging deeper into drugs and debt, but at least he isn't taking us with him.
The divorce was expensive and sometimes sheer hell, but it was absolutely the right thing to do and worth it.
2007-08-30 15:23:47 · answer #8 · answered by stenobrachius 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
When I decide to separate my EX I was 3 months pregnant i made that decition because he cheated & he started beign abusive so it was a hard decition but I didn't want a life for my baby full of problems & figths between mom & dad besides I could't trust him anymore. SO I left him got final divorce when my baby was 9 months because he wanted me back .. After that He got married 2 months later with a younger girl ( high student - 5 yrs younger) so she didn't know how to be a house wife so he started having problems with her because of this & decide to want me back but by that time I was happy with my almost 1 yr old baby having fun with my friends , going out , working & enjoying my baby & my new life.. a year later I got married to a wonderful man & i am still happy ( 6yrs ) with 3 kids & still having fun !!!
2007-08-30 15:27:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
ME, jumping around!!!!! It was hard and it was sad...even though it was an abusive relationship. Divorce is a loss regardless and you must grieve. But everyday gets better and better. And I thank my lucky stars I got away. Life is good, a little lonely, but very good. I'm starting to feel like myself again.
2007-08-30 15:40:45 · answer #10 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋