Another "Famous" woman on my husband's cell phone wallpaper...?

Question

I don't know why, but it infuriates me!! My husband has this "Thing" for kirsten dunst. He says he does these little things to piss me off!! I don't think so. He owns like all her movies and catches interviews and things like that that she is in. He is not obssesive...but if he knows it bothers me that much, why does he pull this crap. I feel like I deal with his BS day in and day out, take care of the kids, clean the house, do wifely duties when I do and when I don't feel like...why in the hell is there another woman on his phone! IT PISSES ME OFF!!

First I AM NOT 44, im 27...which is basically her age, you JERK!! Also there have been other issues with him cheating...so how is it okay...I think he should be even more willing to show me that Im special and quit doing this bs. I realize he will never meet her, but the point is he already took my world and shattered it about a year ago...he should be trying to build me up...not break me down... also isn't it just pissy to try and play these games.

HE HAS CHEATED ON ME IN THE NOT SO DISTANT PAST!!! I THINK MY INSECURITIES MAKE A LITTLE SENSE! FOR GOODNESS SAKE DOESN'T ANYONE GIVE A SH**T ABOUT OTHERS FEELINGS!

Answer 1

Maybe if you had given all the details to begin with, people would be more sympathetic. I understand you are insecure because of what he did, but you chose to forgive him for that. As far as this goes, you sound like you are beating a dead horse. He has an infatuation with her. She isn't a threat to you, as you said he will never meet her and even if he did, chances are almost 100% that she wouldn't give him the time of day anyway. Have you had a heart to heart with him about this, or have you just sort of snapped at him about it? Maybe he really doesn't know how much it bothers you. If you have and he continues to do it, then I guess you have to really look at your options and decide if you want to be with a man that can be so flippant about your feelings.

Answer 2

Kirsten Dunst is his celebrity crush. Haven't you ever been infatuated by a movie star or celebrity. He probably realizes that nothing will ever happen with her, but it doesn't hurt for him to like her.

Why do you get mad at him for this? There are theories that we yearn for what we cannot have and the more that we hear that we cannot have it, the more we want it. Maybe you should lighten your attitude and tease him instead. Jokingly say, "There's your girlfriend on TV." Maybe you should buy him a movie he doesn't own with her in it.

Most monogamous people don't lose their sensation to be attracted to other people after becoming married. You should not worry so much about this addiction (it's better than a lot of other addictions).

Answer 3

I have two minds on this subject...

1. I think you're overreacting to the specifics of this situation. If he's doing it intentionally to bother you, then train yourself not to be bothered by it. When you quit reacting to his provocations, he will quit provoking. Every man....no, every PERSON has a celebrity crush. One of mine is Milla Jovovich, one of my wife's is Christian Slater. It doesn't bother either of us. 99.9% of celebrity crushes are harmless. It sounds like his might be treading into the .1%, but most likely not.

2. Your husband is incredibly rude to *intentionally* get a rise out of you. It is thoughtless and cruel, and in my opinion indicative of a bigger problem. No man should ever derive pleasure from hurting his wife, whether emotionally or physically. What a piece of crap he's being.

Answer 4

Grown up men are a tad too old to being doing that crap......probably learned it from his Dad....does his dad still have a Farrah Fawcett poster hanging up in his bedroom??!

EDIT- I just read what you wrote about him cheating.....I think that is mean what he is doing...its almost like he is deliberatly rubbing salt into the wound.....yes, he SHOULD be building you up and gaining trust.

Of course all of us women (and men!) KNOW that he or she would NEVER even meet the person they think is "hot" but that is not the point. The point is, when you are married, you keep those thoughts in YOUR OWN MIND. You are RESPONSIBLE for not creating doubt in your partner. You are also supposed to only have your spouse as the focus of your amorous affections.......this is COMMON FREAKING SENSE taken from the pages of "Relationships 101"....its no wonder so many people can't make a relationship work!

Answer 5

Just act like you don't care. He's never going to meet her, and she probably wouldn't give him the time of day any way. If her picture on his phone bothers you that bad just take it off when he goes to bed and put a picture of you blowing him a kiss or something.

Answer 6

It may have something to do with you describing your sex life as your "wifely duties." The way you describe it, it sounds like it's a whole lot of fun for him.
He does it because he knows it bothers you. It's a childish game. All you have to do is stop reacting to it and I bet within a month, he would stop making such a big deal about her to you.

Answer 7

I think of it this way. This is the ideal type of woman for him, and in his eyes you have the qualities that he admires in her. You should feel special that he picked you over her. Besides, i think everyone has little crushes on an unatainable person. Mine is Kate Beckensale. I woulnt do anything with her, even if i had the chance, but wow. And i would still chose my wife anyday.

Answer 8

having a girl on a cell phone background is just the same as when "girls" make comments about "that cute guy"; the difference is, guys like to visualize and fantisize things with stuff such as cell phone wallpapers, whereas girls fantisize and discuss "hot/cute guys" with other girls...bottom line, it's just a way of your guy fantisizing just the way girls do mentally or verbally (assuming). don't be so insecure; what are you afraid of? she's not gonna pop out of the screen. if you let these insecurities get the best of you, it's only going to get worse, and will only get the best of your relationship. understand that people are human and it's ok to fantisize about "celebs" in my opinion.

now, if it were a photo of a girl taken with his own cell phone, i'd be worried, and that would be good enough reason to blog about it on yahoo.

Answer 9

Why do you let it bother you so much? He is probably just doing it to get your attention, even though it's negative attention. Sure, it's childish, but you are just making it worse. Ignore his behavior completely, and don't even mention it. Men will always want to look at other women, especially young and pretty ones. But as long as he is faithful to you, you have no right to complain. Good luck.

Answer 10

He is doing it because it pisses u off. I would find a hottie of my own to put on my phone. My two personal favorites are Dwayne(The Rock) Johnson and Shemar Moore. Noe if those two don't make u feel better I don't know who will.