My fiancee and I have been engaged for 3 years. But we have been together for 5 years. I finally started planning the wedding and have started thinking. Right before we were engaged I ran into a child hood friend on vacation with my family and kissed him. I know my fiancee would consider this cheating. And he says that if I ever cheated he would leave me. I don't want to walk into this covanent with this mistruth (my own interpretation of it), at the same time I don't want to loose him. Will I ever forget? He will never find out the gentleman has since passed.
2007-08-30 07:15:04 · 28 answers · asked by Tara C 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You will probably never forget, but telling him will not help you to forget or forgive your self. I suggest you keep it to yourself.
2007-08-30 07:20:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you have to tell him. Keep this to yourself, and justify it by thinking that it happened before you were engaged. Try to reverse the situation - if he was the one who kissed a childhood friend three years ago, would you want him to tell you? Would you care? Would it be the end of your relationship? I hope the answers to all those questions is No. So, just move on, keep it in the past, and look forward to your life together. Good luck.
2007-08-30 14:31:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him the truth. If you are about to pledge to a life together through good and bad he should be able to deal with this. Marriage is an expression of what the two of you already have on the inside. If this one act changes the fact that he wants to marry you then is he really the one for you? What you did was wrong and you will have to deal with the fact that he is going to get mad and blow up at you in his own way, but the waters should calm and if he is THE one you will come out the other end stronger.
2007-08-30 14:30:00 · answer #3 · answered by The thinker 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
To me cheating involves sex....kissing isn't sex, but you were walking the thin red line. My advice...keep your mouth shut and carry this baggage (and trust me this "kissing" is pretty light) by yourself. You probably won't forget about it, but it was 3 years ago and before you were engaged. If your fiance would dump you for a little slip like you did he is not a guy to marry. Anyway you are making a mountain out of a mole hill
2007-08-30 14:52:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably won't ever forget what you did plus it will eat at you. Marriages are built on trust and I don't think you can have a good marriage if there's something major you haven't been truthful about.
He may or may not leave you. Sometimes people say things only to scare or threaten the other person; maybe that was his goal or not. I would advise you to either tell your fiance or seek counseling and work the issue out with your counselor.
2007-08-30 14:23:43 · answer #5 · answered by Sturm und Drang 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
look what you did is between you and god or whatever higher begin there is but you need to shut your mouth because it was really nothing. its cheating but i would not tell because no matter what it is not going to make things better only make things really really worse and for a kiss naaa your crazy now if you had relations well then thats on you. I believe that if you are sorry you forgive yourself. All humans make mistakes and we are not perfect so don't beat yourself up about it. I just want to tell you that don't say nothing really it not mistrust its emtional mistake but you know you love him and that person died and got to see you one last time before he did you don't know if you made a difference in his last days because of it or not it was that way cause it was suppose to be.
2007-08-30 14:50:58 · answer #6 · answered by GULLABLE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should tell him that he kissed you and that you feel really bad cause you didn't stop him. you need to be honest with him or just act like it never happened and don't think about it. It is a hard situation because the guy passed away and I am sure you are hurting from that and don't want to deny the fact that you had feelings for him. It may sound morbid but talk to the guy you kissed and come to terms with it and be strong. You can't change the past but the past can change you!
2007-08-30 14:22:42 · answer #7 · answered by b-is-a-queen 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Was it a one time moment of weakness that you would sooner die than repeat?? If that is the case, keep your mouth shut tightly. You didn't have sex with this man, nor did you express romantic feelings for him...what you did is not OK, but it's not totally condemnable. If you are in love, committed, and know that you will never stray again, keep quiet. If you are having any reservations, speak up.
2007-08-30 14:21:54 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel-Pit Police-DSMG 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to try to forget about it. I'm not saying it's okay to kiss other people, but it's not like you had sex with him. Just forget about it, and move on with your life. Be happy with the person you love, and make sure this doesn't happen again.
2007-08-30 14:27:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, technically it's cheating, but don't go into the marriage with a lie. Tell him what happened, tell him that you are admitting it because you want to be honest and that you are human and human make mistakes.
If he cannot forgive you, then maybe you two weren't meant to be. A relationship has to be built on trust and FORGIVENESS
2007-09-01 12:26:05 · answer #10 · answered by Kimpossible 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You not married yet- you kissed him once, you didn't have sex and you won't see your friend in this life again. If you believe in God ask him for forgiveness, forgive yourself and move on. Don't mess up again.
I don't that too many people would refuse to marry someone under the circumstances you describe.
2007-08-30 14:26:22 · answer #11 · answered by sophiasgr8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋