Ive been wih someone and have a child with them of 3months old. Everything has been going down hill since i?

Question

was 8 months we have been living together up until a month ago. lies drama and mental and verbal abuse has been constant but we both contributed to the problems. some more than others but we cant even have one conversation without arguing and yelling, and its just been a big mess and im tired of being passive then getting the short end of the stick everytime and continuously be accused of lying and him promising things for our daughter and then when things doesnt happen it's my fault We both have alot to work on but stupid me i really love and want to work it out with him but its stressing me out to the point im breaking out headaches etc. he says i act to nonchalant aboout things and he knows i have another man. But im not telling him anything about what ive been doing and now he's like making things super hard for me. either he really loves me and is trying to uet me b'c hes hurt or ....?

Answer 1

NEVER DEBATE THE LOVE!!! Thats just igonrant, of course he loves you, how much and to what extent are the real questions. And to tell you the truth, does it matter? You've dealing with his stuff for how long? Besides that you guys have ZERO friendship, no compassion, no passion (were it counts), no trust, and ZERO understanding. Its like two kids locked in a debate about whos fault it is when someone spills the milk and mom didn't see it. And ever time you TRY to do something the right way, like nonchalant, he gets upset, classic manuplator move. So really I say do what you can to leave, but that doesn't help anyone, the scars are already there. So now its time to get past the whole, does he love me bs, and realize he hurts you becaue he knows not any other way to do it. THis is going to come down to being honest! From this point on, if you what this to work, DON'T ARUGE! If it get into an arguement, say your peace and leave it be, if you do anything it should be letting it all just go, cry or something. But excalating the yelling is the same as escalating the violence, it solves nothing. So understand everytime you argue your killing the relaitonship and your destory you chances at peace with this, it takes two. So tuffin up and don't be so prideful with him, this isn't about you being in the right, this is about keeping a relatoinship together and moving forward, so if you want this man, if you need this man, then your going to have to requinize that AS soon as you began to stop the arguing (debating just fine, but its down in a civil tone and with facts, not opionins) your the one being the grown-up and as a grown-up you need to accept being in the right even when everyone feels you being in the wrong. So just feel with that heart, talk honestly, and don't get angery.... love unconditionally.... and HOPE for the best... no one can put limits on were you two can take this, but you two, so in the end this is all a product of you two's creation. Do you what to creat heaven on earth? Or do you want to bring heck down on you guys and the kiddos?

Answer 2

you aren't married yet and have the problems you will hae worse ones i fyou marry be ware.