Why do you use your kids as an excuse to stay married?

Question

When you and your spouse are always fighting, and unhappy and not sleeping together or communicating, why stay married for the sake of the kids. Do you not think the kids will benefit moreso from happier parents even if it means you are not in one unit. Is it fear of lonliness or realizing that after you leave you are still going to be miserable? I see this time and time again-Why do people use this excuse?

haha---thanks to the first response, I'm 31! But thanks for the compliment!

I ask this q, because I hear too many married people gripping and they use that excuse. It's their excuse for cheating etc.

I could care less, it's just a question to gain some points.

Answer 1

I stayed with my son's mother for two years unti we split up, then we tryed to stay together for the sake of him, but to no avail, we ended up calling it a day as we were allways fighting and arguing, so we finnished, but she say's that she dosn't want any more kid's unless it's to me as I'm a really good dad and really responsable, allways putting David (my son) first before anything else, So you don't always have to stay with your spouse or the child's other parent, as sometimes it's not allways the best answer!!

Answer 2

My objection to your question is that it implies that the only solution is divorce. However, it should be obvious that, if they choose to do so, a couple can stop fighting, become happy with each other, start sleeping together, and start communicating again. I think it is an insult to a child's psychological health to tell her, "Happiness depends solely on finding the 'right' person. It has nothing to do with your own self-worth, commitment, or dedication to a relationship." But if you divorce, that's exactly what you're telling her.

Later edit: You don't gain points by asking questions. Asking questions 'costs' points. You get a few back if you choose a Best Answer (rather than letting it go to voting), but not all.

Answer 3

this is gonna injury the harmless toddlers the two way. the terrific situation is that if the mummy and dad do pass their own way is to not pit detrimental stuff opposed to the former companion around the youngsters, era. i'm getting alongside with my ex of 17yrs in the past as stable as we did interior the quicker years of marriage. Yeah, there replace into some bumpy spots early on, yet time ironed them out. 2 human beings will continuously be the mummy and dad of their toddlers and that they could admire that. it rather is real TOUGHLOVE, that R- E -S- P- E- C -T. the youngsters nevertheless have the comparable desires as the different toddlers and each and each of the B.S. interior the worldwide won't replace that actuality. the two organic mom and dad nevertheless could supply them that unconditional love and safety that each and each new child desires and merits. a sparkling companion can not take the place of the genuine organic discern thats absent in a childs existence. Thats all BS written in books for money. and don't have faith what's declared approximately elevating the "Brady Bunch". Its stressful, era. From a Dad who raised 3 young ones and CARES.

Answer 4

I say its a mix of several things. Fear is definitely part of it for most people and the self-sacrificing nature of being a parent is another. Not wanting to be the bad guy and not wanting to be selfish are also other reasons. It all breaks down to believing that the needs of the many out way the wants/desires of the one.

Answer 5

Probably because the thought of raising kids on their own is very scary. I agree though, they should not stay together for the sake of the kids. Serves no purpose. No good one anyway.

Answer 6

It should not be an excuss - The kids would be better off seeing both parents happy in seperate lives then constantly fighting.

Answer 7

If I had that problem. It would be the thought of another man raising my kids. @ 20 yrs and counting.