marriage??

Question

I've been living with my bf for over a year now, we have a child together, and i do everything a wife should already do.... and he still hasnt asked me to marry him!! Am i waisting my time.... just looking for some friendly advice....

yes, he knows i want to get married.... weve talked about it alot

Answer 1

If he hasn't put a ring on your finger yet; he probably won't. After all, why should he;he's already getting it.

Answer 2

You know him more than anyone who answers here does.

Personally, I think you should have had this conversation with him BEFORE you decided to "play" at being married. You moved in and had a child with him. Now you have another person to consider and you're tied to this man permanently because he is your child's father. Even if you are wasting your time with him, he will still be in your life for quite some time.

Read over your question again. Your boyfriend already has all the "benefits" of marriage without having to deal with any of the responsibility. I'll bet he sees no reason to marry you.

Decide what in life you will and will not accept. Sit down and talk with your boyfriend and work this out. If marriage is what you want, then he has to step up to the plate. If he doesn't, then you have to decide if you're OK with things the way they are or if you are going to move on.

Answer 3

When a woman acts like a wife a man sees no reason to marry her because he already has everything that usually goes along with it. My ex b/f and I were have a child and we lived together for almost 7 yrs...he never asked me. My advice isn't to move out or break up, especially if for the most part you have a good relationship. What I would do is show some independence, whether it means going out with girlfriends or starting a new hobby. Just don't stop growing in yourself. Stay busy, be hard to get --sort of, it's not as easy when you live with them. He will admire you! :)

Answer 4

I am going to toss in a guys opinion here.....if you do everything that married people do, what's the big deal if you have that title or not right now. I have lived with my gf for the same amount of time, but I am saving up for more important things such as: a newer house, nicer vehicles, retirement, our future. Instead of wasting a bunch of money on a wedding/honeymoon/rings, we are able to do more fun and exciting things. I would say if he hasn't proposed in about 3-5 years, then I would def. do something about it.

Answer 5

It sounds to me as if you're giving, but not receiving. You need to have a serious sit-down with your boyfriend, and tell him how you feel. He's getting all the benefits of a wife without actually having one, and that's not fair to you, or the child you have together. If he is fine with the current arrangements, and sees no need to change them, then it's time for you and your child to move on, because neither of you will ever get what you need from him. Never sacrifice your happiness, or that of your child, for someone else.

Answer 6

Why are you in such a rush? slow down, a year is not that long. My fiance, and I have been together 7-1/2yrs. We are just now planning our wedding for next year. I'm glad we waited this long. we were able to get to know each better, and we are able to communicate without to much bikering. Trust me I thought about the wasting of time, but I was with someone I love very dearly, so it was worth the wait.

Answer 7

I am in the same situation with bf and kid. He did ask me and we are married but i am starting to think I should of waited. If you aren't into him physically or visa versa you should not get married. Wait till you have been together for a few years regardless what you think people think of your situation. If you love him and he isn't willing to make that decision yet stay and give him sometime. After all all we have is time.

Answer 8

I hate to say the same thing that I'm sure allot of others will say but, it's 2007 not the 1950's. Ask him yourself. His reaction will tell you more than what you will get on here. This is the age that women are more and more taking the initiative to certain situations and this would be a good time for you to do just that.

Answer 9

1. There is no rule against his asking you.
2. If the relationship falls apart he is still liable for child support.
3. If you stay with him for seven years (may vary from state to state) you become common laws husband and wife.

Answer 10

Talk to him about the fact that it is something you're interested in... see what he says. Make sure he understands that it is important to you to have the title that you are already fulfilling.
I do have to say that this conversation should've come up a while ago though, Hun. You guys kind of went about things backwards.... you want to know he's the right one before you have his baby, not after.

Answer 11

You need to bring up the subject of marriage, it's not a dirty word, and obviously important to you. You need to communicate your needs and feelings, most men will leave well enough alone, and are not gifted in mind reading. Once you have his opinion on this matter, you can make up your mind as to how to proceed from there.