What do u think is going on with hubby?

Question

So, my husband is a great man and does alot of good things for other people. But I'm having a problem, he doesn't seem that involved in me. And when I say that, I mean he doesn't seem that interested in sex. We have been married a little over a year and he says "if we have sex too much then it will get old". But comeback to that is "not having sex is getting old". We MIGHT have sex once every 2 weeks. But is is usually me initiating it with him. I have had questions before wondering if he is possible gay. He is extremely metro-sexual and manicures himself precisely. What do think could be issue? I believe I am attractive, very physically fit plus I am 5 years younger then him. Don't most men want a hot young wife? We talk about his work and his life in full detail, when it comes to mine, he is easily distracted. What is going on??

Answer 1

I you discus these issues with your husband, and he claims he just doesn't care about sex, don't accept this at face value. Asexuality is more complex than it appears. I don't believe there is such a thing as a person simply "not liking sex." A disinterested in sex usually covers up an aversion to sex. This can stem from fear of intimacy, fear of being controlled, suppressed anger, but if the sexual disinterest has been a lifelong problem, it can usually be traced to serious emotional trauma such as sexual molestation, incest, other violent forms of abuse or same gender sexual experience (do you get me?). Your husband may not even be aware of the connection between his emotional wounds and his aversion to sex. In fact, he may not even remember the events that could have programmed him to avoid sexual contact.

If you suspect that he is a victim of this kind of trauma, do everything in your power to get him some professional help, not just for the sake of your marriage, but for the sake of his own mental peace.

ravishingV

Answer 2

Oh dear, only married a year, and sex only once a fortnight? Something is very wrong. You have wondered if he is gay and I think you are probably right. He has married you as cover as he does not want to 'come out'. If he is having sex with men it is very risky for you to have sex with him. Please ensure that he uses a condom.

You will have to think hard about whether you want to stay in this marriage. The best advice would be to get a divorce immediately and find a man who can have a proper loving relationship with a woman.

Answer 3

Does he eat red meat? Does he get plenty of exercise? These things actually increase a man's desire for s*x, and they are two things you can encourage him to have to proactively increase his drive. You two can also become vulnerable to each other by talking about bedroom desires, things you've not talked about before. Then, be willing to act out his desires with him.

My hubby says, when the marriage is less-steamy, that an increase in intimacy leads to more intimacy. It's kinda like exercising muscles. They're stronger when used. Same with the s*xual drive. Be intimate often and you crave it more.

Also, try not to be too upset that you initiate it. That may be one of the reasons you two are a good couple. One of you is a go-getter, the other needs prodding and prompting. It would be a terrible relationship if both of you were the same. Opposites attract, right?

Best wishes!

Answer 4

That stinks. There are more then one possibilities.

1. you could be right and he is gay.

2. He could be cheating.

3. He could be going through something that he isn't ready to share with you. Maybe he is embarrassed and can't share it with you. He may be so distracted by this that if gets in the way of every part of your relationship.

4. Or maybe he's just self involved...lol

Its hard to make a judgement on someone you don't know personally.

Answer 5

It does sound like he is self-absorbed. Have you ever had any evidence that he may be homosexual or bi-sexual? It is a possibility I agree, because there is still a lot of negative stigma in many parts of the world regarding homosexuality. Are there any clues that he is sexually with you as well? These are questions that you need to answer for yourself and just keep talking to him. I just find it amazing all of these women on here begging for more sex. I would kill if my wife had the sex drive of some of you ladies.

Answer 6

Do you guys still "date" a lot? I mean go out and have fun? I think that is the environment to find out what is really going on. Does he pay a lot of attention to the other "hot" women in the room. Does he notice the men more? Does he get a little jealous when other men make eye contact with you? Did he forget what a cute girl he has or does he really have other interests?

Answer 7

Hello,
There are a couple of issues that could be going on at this time. He could be gay or he may be going through midlige crisis. He could just have a low sex drive. I would suggest that he talk with a docter to be checked out. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 8

this is definatly something you need to talk about, i wouldn't jump to the conclusion he's gay and i wouldn't worry he doesn't find you attractive there must be something deeper.

For a start, no, it's not normal, most men have very high sex drives and it's usually the women turning the men down! i would look into a few other options first...1 would be weather there is something bothering him, think about when you do have sex, is he nevouse? trying to hide something? does he struggle to 'get it up'? or think about his behavior on a day to day basis, does he put himself down in anyway? does he worry he's getting fat or does he make comments about his body? does he undress in front of you with ease or does he seem shy or embarrassed o turn the lights off before undessing and getting into bed? there may be something along that line that's stopping him from wanting sex, maybe because he's worried about the way he looks or that you'll go off him! secondly i'd think about if he's cheating on you (just a thought, don't start worying) is he out alot? if he was cheating then he'd be getting it enough to not want it from you! either way his excuse of "it'll get boring" is not a valid excuse! i say that to my husband about blow jobs hahaha purely because i dont really like doing it =) maybe he is tired all the time if he works long hours?

i think you need to talk to him, ask him why he doesn't want to have sex with you and maybe say you think he's cheating just to got the truth out of him, if he's ashamed of his body or something simple like that he would rather just tell you than you think he's cheating! if he uses his silly excuse tell him "there is one thing doing it 5 times a day and getting bored and then there's not doing it at all" tell him out right you dont buy his excuse and you think there's something wong, definatly say you think his cheating or you think he doesn't find you attractive so it scares him a bit and that might get him to open up!

i wouldn't start thinking he's gay just yet, but if this isn't resolved after your talk, i'd mention it to him!

good luck xx

Answer 9

Sorry to tell you this but you have serious marital problems! There are several possibilities regarding what is wrong with your husband.
1. He is gay.
2. he is experiencing a problem with E.D. In short he may need viagra but is too embarrassed to admit it.
3. He is having an affair.
4. He just is no longer interested in you.

You have a real problem to solve here or you need to look elsewhere!

Answer 10

Yes he may be gay. Or are you just not putting in the work it takes to keep a marriage fresh? Sex and you being "hot" is not everything.