2007-08-30 05:34:14 · 42 answers · asked by beba 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm not dating, he just assumes I am because I have roses all over my house, and I have been dressing up, I do these things to make me feel better.
2007-08-30 05:40:55 · update #1
he has different reasons for the divorce, he assumes that one day I may cheat on him, because he thinks that since he doesn't have a degree and I do that one day I will find someone who is smart and will want to leave him. I have never cheated on him I truly love him and the divorce is really hurting me.
2007-08-30 05:43:24 · update #2
He doesn't want to go to counseling or talk about the problems, he says nothing is going to change his mind.
2007-08-30 05:43:56 · update #3
When he picks the kids up he comes in the house and walks around. If I don't answer the door quick enough he uses his key and walks into the house and once when he came in I was in the shower and he went into the bathroom to check what I was going to wear and once he saw it he went into the bedroom and waited for me to come out to ask me why I was wearing what I had on. He questions me when I have roses in the house and when he drops the kids off he asks me whether or not I went out, sometimes I just ignore him other times I tell him that I;m not dating anyone.
2007-08-30 05:49:00 · update #4
At the beginnig I admit I was crying all the time and begging him to come back but realized that it wasn't making a difference so now I am making myself happy so that he can see that I am not always going to be here waiting for him.
2007-08-30 05:51:40 · update #5
Maybe that's why he's filing for divorce because
he thought you were dating someone else.
2007-08-30 05:42:12 · answer #1 · answered by louie_bennie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a control freak, plain and simple. He wants things to be in such a way that he will have total control. You have a degree, he doesn't to him he thinks it may show you as smarter than he is. Again a sign of loss of control. Because of you being smarter he thinks that would mean that you will have a bigger circle of friends, which would mean to him that you would have that much more of an opportunity to have an affair. Your husband now thinks that he can't be the sole bread winner nor the sole decision maker. So he files for divorce. He won't talk to a counselor and he says that you can't make him change his mind to do so. I am sorry that he is hurting you this way. I think that for any reason other than for yourself maybe you should start talking to a counselor. Your husband is trying to make you feel like a failure, and the reason why is for him, he feels like a failure. He is unhappy and he wants to see you as unhappy as well. If he thinks your dating he feels that you shouldn't have any happiness, and dating is a sign of happiness, hence his feelings of jealousy. Try to get your life back on track, this is a person who will find a negative in a huge positive no matter what. And you sound like your a positive person, don't let him damage that. Get someone to talk to while you are going through this. Then move on.
2007-08-30 05:52:56 · answer #2 · answered by mshellrosie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This kind of behavior by men makes me angry, they make you feel that they don't want you, then you make changes that make you happy and they get jealous. I would first start by changing the locks on the doors, he has no right walking in on you. I know he will get a key from the kids if they have keys so you have to be prepared to confront him in that case. Let him know once and for all that he wanted out not you. what you where, whats in the house, where you go is no longer his business. This is not to be mean, but so you will be able to move on, if you let him affect your life outside his interactions with the kids he will continue use that to control you. KEEP DOING THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY.
2007-08-30 07:15:24 · answer #3 · answered by blackpearl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it all depends on the reasons for the divorce in the 1st place!!
Men are jealous & possesive - it's a fact .. Some more so than others...
Divorce is a normal part of many peoples lives - it's getting real sad that no one can no longer commit and keep the promises made during the marriage ceremony.
2007-08-30 05:41:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my ex and I had not been happy for over a year and he lost his job ater 5 years to a factory closing. He wanted to go to arkansas to try to get a job out there....and I told him you leave it will be over as I do not want a long distance relationship. Well then before e decides to leave I ended up pregnant and we got the confirmed. After 2 days he leaves town without telling me goodbye didn't call our boss nothing just up and went. I say okay we ar through I am not going to put up with this I can raise our baby on my own ect. Later I found out he supposedly went to see his ex-girlfrind and all that night...I called us done....he now calls me wanting m back and i am with someone else and VERY happy.....if he wants the divorce then so be it. Start a new life and let him think what ever he wants to think
2007-08-30 05:49:53 · answer #5 · answered by tweety_angel23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My answer is still the same for you sweetheart! He's got a double standard going on. SOME men think when they leave a woman she should be devestated, too devestated to even think of another man. Double standards my dear.
Adding a little something. Stop worrying about him. i know you love him, and its hard to get past, but it sounds like the problems are his own. He sounds insecure and unsure of your relationship. He sounds like he is in need of some SERIOUS self-esteem. In the mean time do something for yourself that makes you feel good about you. You don't need to worry about him anymore. He made that so. Pamper your self and love your kids. That is what is important!
Another note...CHANGE THE LOCKS! He left, that is YOUR house. He has NO right to be walking in anymore. Especially invading your privacy.
2007-08-30 05:40:15 · answer #6 · answered by olbabybluez18 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because he doesn't want the responsibility that comes with being married to you, but he doesn't want to give up the control he feels he has over your life. You are going to have to be the one to severe the ties that bind, unless you like him feeling like he can expect certain things from you, but you can't expect anything from him. It could also be that he is holding the divorce over your head to try and gain power in the relationship, and the roses, etc. makes him think his idea is backfiring on him.
2007-08-30 05:46:18 · answer #7 · answered by onebigfool 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is jealous because he is male. It doesn't matter if he filed or not. He expects you to keep crying and asking him to come back. I am sooooooo glad to hear that you finally figured it out. Keep doing what you are doing, look marvelous and keep flowers in the house. I would definitely change the locks because if no longer lives there, he doesn't get to barge in and check anything. Good luck to you!!
2007-08-30 07:27:23 · answer #8 · answered by frawlicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you should change the locks on your house. And tell him he lost all right of knowing whats going on in your personal life when he filed for divorce & the only type of conversation you'll have with him wll be about the kids only.
2007-08-30 06:10:05 · answer #9 · answered by MILF 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let me give you one piece of advice here. Wait till your divorce is final or at least in it's last stages before you start dating. You want to close one door before you open another and you don't need to give your soon-to-be-ex any ammunition against you in court, you will be surprised how he can turn things against you, especially if you have children together.
Having said that, if you really must date, just be real discreet about it.
And get a good lawyer.
2007-08-30 05:39:20 · answer #10 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husban is filing for divoice and you think by dressing up and planting roses all over the house will change his mine because you think that he is in love with you or you trying to get him jealous in the first place.
Lisen there is nothing wrong with you still being i love with your husband and if you and him cant work it out then stop making matters worse for you. what is wrong with you married woman give it up already.
best of luck
2007-08-30 08:23:31 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋