my boyfriend of three years. his dad died.?

Question

me and brandon were on a "break" for about a week...and we were planning on seeing eachother to end the break the night his dad died. he called me around 9ish (he was supposed to be at work till 12 then come over) and told me his dad had a heart attack and he needed me to come to the hospital. his dad died and i stayed with brandon and his mom and brothers that night. me and brandon slept with his mom that night to calm her down and i spent the night every night till the day after we buried his dad. i gave him space for a week to go play golf and be with his friends and family. we had a good weekend together and worked on a slide show for his dad. but now he is acting strange...like depressed and last night we were on the phone and he said he didnt feel like talking...(it was the 2 week aniversary of his dads death) and said it wasnt me...and that he'd call me later. he doesnt want to make plans...he's mopey and i want to help him...but idk how when he wont talk.
i love him, help!

i guess i've been kinda low on self esteem too b/c we havent really gotten a chance to talk about the break we were on b4...but i guess i've been with him 3 years and i need to have faith that we're ok. on the subject of his father, i have told him many times i'm here for him and have even went to just hang out with his mom when he's golfing. me and his mom are pretty close and they work together also... thanks for the answers, i would like to hear more from you guys about this subject b/c it means a lot to me...i care so much about him and his family.

Answer 1

Sweetie, his dad just died. He's gonna be depressed and there's not anything you can do to change that. My dad died two years ago, and I'm still not over it. I think the most helpful thing anyone did for me was to tell me that they'd be there for me no matter what. And if that meant I needed space, that was ok. And if that meant I needed them to be right there, that was ok too. Its different for every person, but just let him know that you're there for him and you'll support him and care about him. Even if he IS depressed and doesn't want to hang out. Thats probably when he needs your understanding the most.

Answer 2

You are being a supportive girlfriend. He's going to be "mopey" longer than a few weeks and you will have to help him deal with all his pain. He probably WILL call you later when he feels like talking. Wait two days. If you don't hear from him, then telephone and ask when you can get together. Tell him you want to help.

Answer 3

He sounds like someone who learned to be a strong, silent type guy and may be having a hard time with the grief he's experiencing and may not even recognize the feelings as grief. The loss could also be causing him to re-think his own place in life, and is not sure what he should be doing with his. Trust that he is telling the truth when he says it is not you, and jsut try to be patient. Just let him remember that you are there for him, whenever he is ready.

Answer 4

I can't imagine what it would be like to lose my Dad. My heart goes out to your boyfriend. I don't think that there is anything you can say or do that will make him feel any better. Just let him know that you love him and are there for him, that if he needs anything to not hesitate to ask. They say that time heals all wounds, so just give it some time.

Answer 5

I had an extremely good dad, the suitable dad interior the international. He advised me regularly occurring that he enjoyed me and that i constantly knew, in no way in my innovations have i doubted that liked me. maximum cancers has have been given to him whilst i became into in 5th grade, now im sixteen years old and that i leave out him very very lots. the incident that handed off 5 years in the past became right into a terrifying one to me, and my kinfolk. even nonetheless my journey is extremely distinctive out of your boyfriend's, i will submit what i think of is the suitable factor to do. attempting to furnish him your assistance is the worst factor you're able to do acceptable now. you dont understant how he feels, you didnt lose your mum and dad. depart him by myself for a collectively as, time heals all wounds. If he ever does communicate over with you approximately this, in basic terms hear, attempt to appreciate in his attitude. OR in case you have yet another guy pal that misplaced his father, try making that guy communicate on your boyfriend. don't get a woman to try this, us adult men have a brotherly relationship that ladies and adult men cant have. So fairly of you giving assistance, and suggestion, have that guy communicate on your boyfriend. asserting "you're in basic terms such as you're dad, and you're in basic terms going to be a no person" wasnt a good theory. i understand he probebly suggested very imply issues to you, however the guy has alot on his innovations acceptable now. oh and for all adult men that are hating on the dude, that may not for you melissa b: WTF can furnish the dam acceptable to even communicate approximately his difficulty! the fck?? did you ever lose your mum and dad? try being a sprint extra apathetic. Did you ever see a guy laying down on his dying mattress? do you recognize the way it feels to be certain the main crucial guy on your life, exchange into weaker and skinnier every time you circulate to him interior the wellness facility? What the hell can furnish the dam fckin acceptable? heavily? wtf?!? you adult men are fortunate to have your mum and dad nonetheless alive, cherish it. you fckin assholes disgust me. (sorry for the language yet i had to declare it)

Answer 6

i would just give him space and time to heal. just let him know that you are there for him, whenever he needs someone to talk to. do something nice for him, but also give him time. maybe he'll feel in a better mood as time goes by and begins to heal. also let his mother know to keep an eye on him if hes depressed..........im so sorry for his lost

Answer 7

very sad.