Any other moms out there with this problem?

Question

I have been thinking about finding a babysitter for my 2 1/2 and 13 month old babies...however, I have a HUGE issue with trusting anyone to watch my kids. I know that my husband and I need some "us" time and I need some "me" time every now and than, but to me it's not worth compromising the safety of my kids. Am I over reacting? Where on earth do I start looking for a babysitter? The paper? On line? Word of mouth? I've tried all of it, but can't bring myself to make the call. Help!

Answer 1

You are no over reacting, honey. You are being cautious. I personally do not think you should look in the paper. I would start by looking at people in your family or friends. Are there any older, responsible teens? other mothers who could do it? people at your church?

Answer 2

I am the same way. Word of mouth is the best situation for me. Mainly my kids stay with my MIL or my sister. If you use someone, say a local teen, try a day at home first. Have the teen come over while you are there. Go take a nap. Paint the bathroom. Do something that needs all your attention, but you can still check and know what is going on. Next, on a saturday have the teen come over and you just run to the store, maybe an hour or so. Go to get your hair done, just something small.

These little trips will help ease your worries and help your kids realize that you will be back.

The first time Ieft my kids with someone other than family, my husband was asleep in the next room and I just went to get groceries. The girls had a blast.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Start networking through friends with small children. When you find someone and interview them. try a trial period. By that, I mean, have them come over like you're going out, but pop back in at an unexpected time. That's usually a great indicator if they are who they say they are. I would also have a close friend or neighbor you trust keep an eye on things when you are gone. That should give you some peace of mind until you really get to know this person. Any reputable sitter should have no issue with the extra montoring for awhile. If they do, maybe that's a warning flag.

I don't blame you at all for being extra cautious. There are a lot of nut jobs out there. I wish you success in your search.

Answer 4

We mothers all have that problem. Luckly I have family around who help me in situations like that. Everyone needs alone time with husband and even with yourself. Now it is fair to take a break sometimes ( of course not risking the kids). If you have close family I don't see why not to trust them. You deserve it 2 kids at that age can drive you nuts sometimes. Tell me about it...(I have a 4 and 2 year old)..
Anyways, if you want your marrige to work you have to give your husband some time and yourself. Me and my husband took marrige counsaling and were suggested spending at least 1 afternoon during the week for your husband. I really havent kept that up but its hard having to infants and keeping up to that. However, loosen up and take some time off. First consider leaving them to family, then close friends (woman of course) and then at last look for recomendations from people. One thing....dont underpay the babysitters. Always, pay good, even if it is family (they'll do it again). Good luck....

Answer 5

My daughter is 2 1/2, and I have never left her with anyone. I do not think you are being paranoid at all. We live far from family, but are lucky enough to have them visit once a month and take advantage of a date night then. The one thing I have considered is a program where older, retired ladies watch your children, I think it's called Granny Care. That would be my only suggestion. They are monitored by camera, and you are always welcome to view the tape, plus, it's like taking your children to grandma's house because these ladies just love having them, and play with them more than, say, a 13 or 14 year old would. As with any service, just make sure you check references first, and if it just doesn't feel right, then trust your instincts first and foremost. Good luck!

Answer 6

I have/had the same problem with my almost 13 month old son. Except, my husband and i don't have family close by. What we did is find people from our church that we trusted (who have young grandkids), and also saw who our son took to in our church's nursery. Also, whenever our family's do visit, we would go out by ourselves to dinner or to Wal-Mart. It is not unusual to feel wary about finding a babysitter, do not think you are overreacting. It is a normal process or being a mother (I barely even trusted my in-laws). Also what you could do is leave your children with your husband and go get coffee or drinks with your girlfriends, just something to get out on your own for an hour or so. I hope this helps.

Answer 7

I know exactly how you feel. I have 3yr old twins. Since they have been born me and my mother have been their sole caretakers. This is awful but I do not leave them alone with my husband because he gets mad at them way to easy and I am terrified that something is going to happen to them when I am gone. I assume you live to far away from grandparents for them to take care of them for a little while.
It is easier on your kids if you leave them with someone they are familiar with, that way they won't be as upset that you are not there. I would use word of mouth over the paper or online. Anyone can take out and ad, they may be wonderful but I would still be leary unless someone I knew and trusted had already had a good experience with them.
Don't worry you aren't the only one out there with this fear!

Answer 8

I totally sympathise with you. I have a 3 month old ans I only leave her with my mom and sister in law and even thats tough.If you dont have family near do u have a close and trusted friend who would help you out once a week for a break? What about askig friend about who they use? I would use word of mouth only vs online and the paper. I dont think your over reacting. Your kids love and trust u and depend on you to protect them. who we choose to take on that responsibility shouldnt be taken lightly. Good work!

Answer 9

Im not a Mom, but a 13 year old kid....and i hate babysitters. And of all the child molesters and crazy people out there, i would trust a aunt or loyal family member.

Answer 10

I had this same problem when I went back to work after being a stay at home mom for almost 4 years. I just did not like the idea of someone I didn't know watching my kids. I lived 1000 miles away from all my family and didn't really know anyone in the town I lived in. So I went to my local Child pertective services and talked to them. They gave me a list of daycares and peple who did child care in their home. They were all licenced by the state, and went through regular inspections by child protective services. So that made me feel alot better about it. Then I went through and picked out a few daycares and in home child care providers and I went and did interviews with them all. (it took me over a week to get them all done) I had a whole list of questions I asked them, and I walked around their home or facility. Then I just picked the one that I was most comfortable with.

I hope this helps you out some.

Answer 11

Start with family and friends. Is there anyone who you're close to that you would trust for just a few hours?? Maybe there's another mommy you know of that you could trade babysitting with - one Friday is your dinner w/ your husband, the next Friday is hers. 2 dates a month is awesome!!

You might be surprised at how many moms you already know who want to do this... you may end up running a babysitting coop!!

I wouldn't go w/ a stranger personally, unless you're enrolling in a registered child care program.