My husband and I have been married for only a year and a half and things are not as exciting and fun as they use to be with him. We have not had sex in over a month. I have been thinking about cheating. I haven't though. Things just seem really cold in our marriage. What can I do to get things back to how they were. I miss that.
2007-08-30 05:16:27 · 19 answers · asked by Lisa 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Lisa,
You should know that love changes over time. The "in love" feeling is great and exciting, because you are learn about each other and its full of the excitement of exploration. You really don't know each other yet and everything you see is great and you dream of a perfect life together. However, once you really start to know each other the love changes to "loving" where you accept each other completely (good&bad). This "loving" isn't as exciting and is more like a warm blanket. What you can do is find ways to play together. Actively look to discover more about your partner. What you might every try is start a new hobby and share what you learn or even start a new hobby together and learn together. You can't re-capture the complete unknown of first discovering each other, but there is an incredible depth to the human spirit you have yet to explore. Plus we are all changing everyday, so those are also little discoveries you can search for.
2007-08-30 05:50:41 · answer #1 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Things tend to simmer down after marriage, it's normal because you get into a routine of doing things and becoming busy. You have to make time, the same way you did when you were dating.
If you're bored, just think he probably is too. So take the iniative and spice it up. Have some bubble bath waiting for him when he gets home from work. Strip for him, feed him, bathe him, do some crazy things. You're married, the sky's the limit.
What I've found works for me and I've told my friends and it works for them, is to take my husband to a strip club and I'll give the dancers dollar bills. It drives him nuts. Then I pay for him to have a lap dance. When he comes back out from the VIP room, he's ready to go home for some real fun...
You just have to find a way to spice it up. It's only been a year, just think you have fifty or more to go. So get going on being creative.
Just have fun and don't worry about what other people may think. It's your marriage, your life, make that man happy and yourself too.
Good Luck.
2007-08-30 12:26:36 · answer #2 · answered by I Love Him Always! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please don't cheat that would be the biggest mistake. Things do change after you are married. Marriage is hard work and you have to work at keeping it exciting like when you were dating. What did you do when you were dating that you don't do know. Take time go out on dates or go to the movies. My best advice would be not to get into a routine. You need to keep the lines of communication open between the two of you and let him know how you are feeling. GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-08-30 12:29:09 · answer #3 · answered by D TRAIN 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Here's a simple thought...I was once told that one thing that you should do to keep your marriage alive and sparked is to continue "dating" each other. What I mean is that you need to go out on dates and not just dinner either. Anything you both enjoy is fine and you should even try activities you've never done before. Be silly everyday and don't be afraid to be playful with each other. I've been married for about the same length of time as you and everyday since the beginning has felt as fun and fresh as our first day together.
2007-08-30 12:46:52 · answer #4 · answered by kurichan85 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, you must sit down with him in a non-threatening environment without any distractions and talk to him. Start off with some funny stories or jokes and get him laughing. Just to lighten the mood so he does not feel that he is under attack.
Ask him what is going on in his mind concerning your relationship. Tell him how you fell and ask if there is something that you need to do differently to make him want you again. It will take some open, honest communication between the two of you to get to the heart of the problem, but he will not open up if he feels like a cornered animal.
Just be honest and NOT emotional.
2007-08-30 12:44:16 · answer #5 · answered by tempest_twilight2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So it has been ONE WHOLE MONTH and you are thinking about cheating! Did it occur to you when you got married that it takes a lot of work, peseverance and patience to make a marriage work? Or that sometimes you have to think of someone other than yourself?
Now, look at things again. Has your husband been under a lot of stress at work, has he been ill, does he have to work in the heat? What do you do to make him feel special, cared for and loved? How have you communicated your needs to him?
Answer these questions for yourself and then sit down over a nice dinner with him and ask him. Without good communication no marriage can work. It is up to you to get the ball rolling.
2007-08-30 12:28:11 · answer #6 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
For some reason when people marry we think that the important things aren't important anymore. Such as the reason you two were attracted to each other to begin with. Flirt with him, make dates, write love letters, dress to catch his eye, maybe if you start it he will catch on. Love is not supposed to stay the same though, it goes through cycles. If you really want it try and it will get better. Good Luck PS don't sweat over money, chores, bills, etc. because regardless they will always be there, try to focus on enjoying each other and being happy.
2007-08-30 12:29:57 · answer #7 · answered by tnca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to learn about marriage is to keep communication open. Talk to your husband about this. Ask him if something's wrong. It's not about what YOU can do to get things back together; it's what YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND can do to make the marriage work. Talk to your man.
2007-08-30 12:32:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T cheat. There are other ways to get a better result, such as counseling, communication etc. If you married him for better or worse, part of those vows mean to do whatever it takes to work through things. Cheating is oh so wrong.....and won't accomplish a thing.
2007-08-30 12:24:53 · answer #9 · answered by dinny's engaged!! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
cheating or letting go is never a solution think about that...
when you cheat, you`ll lose your mental peace after that when you`ll be with another partner after 1.5 years you`ll again find your partner boring . So what will you do, cheat again ?
Work on it baby!
Give your 110% to your marriage!
If you can`t save it no one can!
Spice things up don`t just sit there do domething about it.
it means NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-08-30 15:47:49 · answer #10 · answered by L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋