first husband was my dad an alcoholic,2nd husband was a cheating alcoholic,3rd was a control freak but i liked him,we all have our faults,well they just got a divorce and she started dateing,she was dateing men that have money,she has money,well thats just not her type i guess cuz she found a guy that she really likes and hes BROKE,not goodlooking at all,im just worried that shes gonna marry the wrong guy again,and hes going to take everything she has,shes soo happy and its nice to see her that way cuz she deserves it,will that last??,i dont say to much about it cuz its her business,but my brothers and i have become really protective,were sick of seeing her getting taken advantage of and getting hurt,,anyone have any advice?? should i say something to her??i dont reallywanna give this new guy a chance unless i know that hes sincere,so id have to get to know him,and would it b wrong if i kept my sons grandfather my stepfather that she divorced in my life???
2007-08-30 05:14:53 · 15 answers · asked by alexa_rae9 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
her youngest is 19 and im the oldest 30,so yes we are grown ups but we are very close,and value one anothers opinions.
2007-08-30 05:43:06 · update #1
It is quite obvious your mother has a very poor ability to select men. I would politely approach her, and tell her you dont want her to be hurt again. Tell her you neither approve nor disapprove of her most recent interest, but that you and your brothers would really like her to consider what she really wants in a man.
One thing you may not realize is that she is lonely, and maybe unable to find the quality man that you all deserve, which is a shame.
2007-08-30 05:20:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most you can do is tell her of your concern and make sure she knows you love her and want to respect her desires.
Get to know this guy yourself. He may be broke, may not be good looking in your opinion, but he may be what your mom needs. Just because he's broke doesn't mean he's not a nice guy. maybe he was taken for everything he had in lost relationships. Women go for men with money, why can't men?
YES of course you can keep the stepfather as your childrens grandfather. As long as there is love, you take what you can get now days. Yes, it's ok.
2007-08-30 05:22:35 · answer #2 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have your own life now. My parents just divorced and my dad's dating this total nut job who I think is using him for his money. He sees it makes us unhappy but who am I to stand in the way of his happiness?
You and your brothers should sit down and talk to your mom and just tell her that you want to see her happy no matter what the circumstances. And the best you can do is support her.
As far as your son goes...your mom may not like it but that's his grandfather and she can't take that away from him. If she expresses any discontent in that just let her know that you'd appreciate her thinking of her grandson and his needs, too.
Good luck!
2007-08-30 05:22:57 · answer #3 · answered by luckygurl284 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES, say something to her. Although offspring shouldn't have to deal with our parent's intimacy/business, you still see and hear everything. You know her better than anyone. Talk to her. I know my daughter said some PROFOUND things to me. She was my family, I was a single mom! I would NOT have done things the same without knowing how she felt. She will listen and you just might save both you and her some crazy heartache. YES it is fine to have your Stepdad be your son's grandfather!! That is great. He was your family! He still can be.
2007-08-30 05:20:32 · answer #4 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have ever right to talk to your mom and tell her your fears and that you want to know this person better before they move any further . be open give him a chance but keep your eyes open look on web sites like www.dontdatehimgirl.com and make sure he has not cleaned some one else out . Try not to make your mom feel like a bad guy for trying to find happiness just let her know you support her and that you want her to be safe and happy Good luck
2007-08-30 05:21:13 · answer #5 · answered by silver01222000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well who she dates is her own business. Of course you are going to have your opinions and worry about her. But for your last question. My mom just left my stepdad last year and is now remarried but he had been my stepdad for over 20 years and kids always knew him as grandpa.After i found out about the split i wrote him a letter asking him if we could still be in his life since he was important to us still and he said of course. I still stay in contact with him over the phone alot ( since we live in different states now) and its like nothings changed really. i say go for it.
my mom doesnt necessarily care for this but at the same time im not really on good terms with my mom.
2007-08-30 05:36:14 · answer #6 · answered by hlboin_2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get to know the guy first and if you have a good relationship with your step dad then keep it. If you have serious doubts about the new guy you can tell your mom but don't push her to do anything. Let your concerns be known and she will make her own decision about him.
2007-08-30 05:22:42 · answer #7 · answered by chris d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would tell my mom......Mom each time you married it didn't work........how about this time you enjoy yourself without marrying the guy. What's the rush! Live with him, enjoy him and take your time! Try living together 1 year first. She's been around the block there is nothing else to see. I would encourage her to take her time.
2007-08-30 05:21:05 · answer #8 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mabe u shud try spending time with him and have a little fun...beacuse when hes comfortable, then his real self shows, then u can see if hes sincere or not or maybe u shud jus try talkin to him...about his life, his goals, his past....ect,
if he still isnt the right guy then try talking to ur mom and tell her how you feel
2007-08-30 05:19:25 · answer #9 · answered by Maria f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let her know how you feel. But always tell her you stand by any choice she makes.
2007-08-30 05:19:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋