Does your husband remember your anniversary or do you remind him?

Question

Mine would never remember. If you have a husband that does remember, how would you deal with someone who doesn't?

Ours is coming up. Things have been so crappy between us I almost just want to let it pass without a word. But then, that's not me to not do something special. It's going to be 5 years. What would you do? Forget it, get a gift and not worry about reciprocation, or tell him?

Answer 1

Are you kidding? I barely remember it myself. Our relationship is good, and this is what counts. Not the number.

Answer 2

My husband remembers because we promised each other years ago that we would ALWAYS go away for a long anniversary weekend. We've kept up with it over the years and now that we have four kids it's really something we not only need but really look forward to. He just mentioned it the other day and asked where we should go. In the past we've been to Niagara, The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, spelunking, camping, anything to just get away from it all and remember why we're together and creating the life that we have together. Maybe you should mention to your husband that you get away and re-connect not only on this anniversary but every year thereafter. If things are "crappy" you two might just be able to get away and find each other again. Good luck :)

Answer 3

I been married to my husband for 10 years and for the past 2 years I was the one that kept on forgetting that it was our anniversary. He would buy me a gift and I would say what is this for, then he would say. It's our Anniversary. This year we both did not celebrate out Anniversary because we was going through a separation. Even before this separation we been having alot of problems so it makes me a hyprocrate to celebrate something that I am no longer feeling good about. I feel that he was forcing himself to celebrate something that was not there anymore. Anyway, talk to your husband and maybe he is not intentionally forgetting. Sometimes people get busy and things like that happen. But I do understand how you feel, it is a special occassion that is the lease that he can do by remembering. Good Luck, I hope he remembers..

Answer 4

My husband remembers our anniversary, but he's no good at doing anything about it. He remembers a lot of things. It's acting on those things he has a problem with. I've given up on expecting him to actually do anything, and I've become content with a gift (which I didn't even get THAT much on our first Valentine's Day we were married).

I understand how you feel about things being crappy with the husband around a special day. I have a trick for myself when I have a dilemma like the one you're in now.

I sit down with my wedding album, paper, and a pen. I push the wedding album aside to start with and write down all of my complaints and all of the reasons I'm upset, angry, or hurt that would make me ignore the special day (sometimes it even helps to write it as a letter to him). When I'm done with my side and get all of that out, I write what his side is or what I concieve his side to be (no matter how stupid think it is). Once I have it all out of my system, I push that paper (or those papers) aside and get the wedding album. I look through all of the pictures slowly. I take in each mood and each moment. While I do that, I write all of the reasons I married him and all of the good times we've had together and good memories we've shared and all of that warm, fuzzy stuff that anger and bitterness don't want me to remember. When I'm finished, I look at everything I've written and decide which (either ultimately or at the moment) is more important. Then, I act on my desicion.

I don't know if this helps any. It always works for me. It helps me to look at both sides of the issue and my feelings and put my priorities into perspective.

I give you this as my answer because I don't know you, your husband or your situation, and I feel it unfair to tell you what I think when I don't know exactly what's going on. I don't expect myself to understand your pain or aggravation. If you put your priorities in order, you'll see your answer. (Maybe it's different for me. My husband has a really dangerous job, and every day I'm faced with knowing that he may not come home, and it's easy to let things go when that's the case.) If you decide it's better to celebrate your anniversary, just casually ask him, "So, what do you want to do for our anniversary?" That reminds him if he forgot and lets him know you plan on doing something.

Good luck.

Answer 5

My husband doesn't remember anything! A few weeks before our anniversary I start reminding him. I don't expect gifts, but some recognition would be nice! Why don't you take the lead on the anniversary and plan something nice for him? This might give you two an opportunity to renew your attraction, you could show him that you feel the relationship is worth working on.

Marriages are really hard work. Some people have easy relationships, but most marriages require selfless dedication. Make some plans, tease him with clues, make it fun! Good luck! And make sure you have a good time!

Answer 6

Sweetheart remembers when sweetheart is reminded to remember. It goes on the "important dates" area of the family bulletin board.

I also tell one particular neighbor that I'm sure he's planning something and I'm not sure what, but if they find out then tell me so that I can buy a new dress or whatever. She then (nosey old dear that she is) ambushes him daily to say "So, don't I remember that you and K have an anniversary coming up? Make any plans yet?"

I hope you have a similar sweet but nosey person among your aquaintance.

As to "let it pass without a word", that seems illogical. If things are going badly already, why would you want to engineer yet one more thing for one or both of you to be unhappy about?

Answer 7

Women are the ones who remember special times and dates of special events. Women can remember the date and time he first smiled at you, bought you your first dinner. Women will remember what he was wearing the first entire week they met. Unfortunately, men are not like this. It does not mean they don't love you and respect the anniversary date. It is just a part of their make up. My husband does usually remember our anniversary. Does it bug me when he doesn't, no because what does me getting mad do for the situation? Nothing but possibly cause and argument. I usually make a smart *** remark, it makes him feel like **** and we laugh about it and move on. A lot of men don't keep up with what the date is for each day, which makes it hard to know when it is your anniversary. Hang in there, he just needs to know this is important to you and acknowledge it. GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 8

Umm I think to be on the safe hand, get a gift. Men tend to make a bigger deal about it when the woman forgets [or doesn't want to remember]. Well, I had gone through one of these before. Though I didn't celebrate or anything, but I did get a card [I didn't write anything personally, just put his name and mine] and got him like a camera. I didn't mention anything to him until the night before. He also remembered but I guess was waiting for me to say it first. Though we didn't do anything special but we both knew that we remembered and at the end of the day we had dinner and cuddled. But guess what, 2 days later back to reality.

Answer 9

I always remember my wife and I's anniversary. This is dorky but I have a "quarter" can that I throw quarters in all year long. Every anniversary we have a great one.....we go out to eat or get a place for the night or take a dinner cruise.

This past June was our 15th. I took her to a mountain resort. We ate out, saw the sights, and I bought her a new dress. The fun part was getting her to go down to the front desk for me. While she was gone I put flowers and candies and fun gifts all over the bed for her return.

Answer 10

I would plan something nice, regardless you should celebrate. My husband doesn't have a problem remembering ours, he does give me a hard time about my birthday as an on going joke since he can remember my twins... lol He ends up just making me laugh. If yours has a hard time remembering, put it on the calendar with a big red heart. He'll see that and know its special to you.

Answer 11

Well, soft reminding never hurts. I would leave little sticky notes in the lunch pail with the ann. date on it. Later he would come home and look on the calendar and see what it was about. That or he'll ask about it, and you can flirtatiously say "5 years" and see if he remembers. Do it every day, it might add some spice to the relationship!