I'm 30, I'm depressed and my husband grosses me out...?

Question

I got married in March. And now I wish I didn't. I am depressed, I hate my life here. My husband is nasty. Sex with him makes me feel like I am a cheap whore, his kisses feel like hot eels darting around my mouth, he flicks it all over my body and it makes me want to cry. I feel so dirty. I have sex with him, I don't tell him no, but inside I just want it to be over. I can't shower without him, he stands over me while I shave. I hate the way he looks at me. He says I'm beautiful and loves to look at me, but it freaks me out and makes me feel like a prisoner. He takes ever chance he can to smack my bottom or grope my chest. When we sleep, he is practically on top of me and if I move, he moves closer. He wraps his arms around me and I can't breath, his hand cups my breast and I pretend to be asleep. I am a stay at home mom and have no life, no friends, no family within a 600 mile distance. What's going on with me? Why do I hate him so much when I loved him 6 months ago?

nope..no new baby. I have 2 sons, 11 and 4 and he has one son 10. We did have sex before we got married. I don't know when things changed, I can only say that I have felt like this for going on near 4 months. Yeah, almost our whole marriage. I don't know why. There is no getting a job. Where we live, everything is almost an hour away, with daycare costs and gas, it would actually cost more to go to work than I would make. I've already done the math. There are no play groups or playgrounds that are frequented. Everything is pretty much abandoned here. I don't know what attracted me to him. Maybe just because I was a single mom. He made a bunch of promises and everything before we got married couldn't have been more perfect. Now that we are married and living together the real him is showing up...and he's not who he was. He's mean to my 4yr old and spoils his kid like crazy. And that's just the beginning.

Answer 1

I'm sorry you are in such a messed-up situation. Don't ruin your life or anyone else's, do what you think is best in your heart and always keep in touch with your family (mom, dad, sister...). Also, he is probably not to blame for anything here. He doesn't know that you have changed emotionally or anything so he is still showing you affection but now you hate it and you are the one that is interpreting this as disgusting. Don't get me wrong, its not your fault either. I really hope for the best for you.

Answer 2

you don't hate him. you hate yourself for allowing him to move you completely away from the life you had before you were married. why did you let him take you away from all of your friends and family, and if you agreed to let him do that, then why? the simple fact of the matter is, if you have no friends or family where you live, then you need to be more proactive to develop a life outside the home. take your child to a local park and try to meet some other parents in the area, or, when he's at school, find an activity that you can enjoy outside the house. it only needs to be for an hour or two, and then you will at least not feel so trapped in the house. that's the real problem here. you hate yourself for allowing yourself to become a prisoner in your own house, now you need to take immediate steps to break free.

Answer 3

well he is a very sexual being....did you two have sex before marriage? if you didn't well look what you got yourself into for not trying out the goods first.!!! not every man makes sweet passionate love everytime you have sex. sometimes its just time to get down and dirty. now if he is getting down and dirty everytime then that could get annoying. I really would talk to him. one thing you really need to do though is get yourself to like sex. sounds like your in this relationship for companionship. or your prude. but whatever it is, you really need to convince yourself that sex is something great. trust me, the human race wouldn't have been built as one of only 2 known species on the planet to get pleasure from sex if we weren't supposed to have it and a lot of it. What you need to do is take charge during sex, be vocal and tell your man what you want and when to slow down or speed up. Remember this one piece of advice. Men are like 97% of the time going to get off during sex. Women however are a lot less likely and for many reasons. One being comfort, another because the man doesn't know what he's doing. I bet if you took charge and had sex the way you wanted too. You would enjoy it and be happier.

Answer 4

Did you just have a baby? Sounds like you are in huge depression, you may want to call the Dr. and get some help. The fact that you were madly in love with this man that seems to cherish and adores you just 6 short months ago, and now you don't even want to look at him? Somethings not right. GO OUT! Call your g/f and see if a night out will help change your mood.
Good luck, but I would still call the Dr.

Answer 5

Good question, 6 months is such a short time. Sounds like you need to get a life outside your marriage and maybe you will appreciate your marriage more. He definately is in love with you don't slam him for it. Think of how you would feel if he didn't pay you any attention at all. Find friends that will help.

Answer 6

Well i would say you make your bed you lie in it you marry someone it's for life so either talk to him about how your feeling or wait awhile to see if it gets any better sometimes women are strange and we have displaced emotions. who knows maybe this is just a phase or maybe your feeling bad about something you did or maybe you just got married to quickly and are now regretting it and are freaking out a bit in any case it's only been six months give it some time. you found him sexy at one time if you work at it you can again marriage is freakin hard and sometimes you have to work to really hard to love them and other days it's really easy. If your creeped out by your husband maybe tell him that just tell him you need some space in the bathroom and you sleep better when you have a little breathing room just say it nicely or else he might get defensive. GL.

Answer 7

You'll fix this problem with that attitude, he'll get the hint and 6 months from now you'll be whining that he doesn't touch you and you think he's cheating.

All the women calling him a pig for his actions now, will be calling him a cheating pig when he finds someone who loves the attention.

Six months ago you "loved" him and now you don't, and he hasn't changed a bit, you have and it's all his fault, right?See how easy it is to be a man.

Answer 8

Wow...go back in time, and really think of your relationship in its early stages. What made you love him? Why don't you now? Find things you can do on your own, make friends, find hobbies, things to broaden your life. He obviously adores you. As he should, you are newlyweds. He also obviously meant the wedding vows he said to you. You are cheating him by your words. Poor guy. You are bashing him because he loves you. You have anger issues that need to be dealt with, and deep down you know the answer. Now you have to work it out. Good luck to you.

Answer 9

properly devoid of understanding the source of his melancholy, no you possibly can permit you recognize specifically the thank you to get him to break freed from it, devoid of expert help. in spite of the undeniable fact that, that reported, listed under are some techniques. for sure you and he shared very much of emotional intimacy and closeness, and so its probable the only situation you could attempt and use to get him to open up slightly. i'm probable guessing that very much of endurance and love, and perseverance would help too. Now he would think of you're nagging him or smothering him, and human beings who're depressed tend to opt to isolate themselves. yet lifting his temper would be not something extra effective than basically sitting next to him, preserving his hand or cuddling with him, and basically getting him to talk. talk approximately something, no count what -- and making him understand that no count what he tells you, you will not harm him. There would be lots of insecurities at play, or possibly there is something happening that he's afraid to permit you recognize approximately. although that's, he needs to permit you in to a minimum of discover out what that's that's preserving him down. devoid of that, the only different wish is to get him to somebody who's familiar with the thank you to alleviate lots of the melancholy so he can start up getting returned in touch with you returned. it style of feels from what you have written that the biggest element of what's affecting you, is the shortcoming of communications and the shortcoming of emotional intimacy -- and particular loss of exact intimacy and affection too. so which you will desire to artwork on that, perhaps extremely at a time. perhaps you will would desire to gently pick the flow in to style of get him to open up approximately what's eating at him. yet although that's, quicker or later he's have been given to permit you recognize. it would help if its quicker.

Answer 10

Hello,
Im not sure why? did you recently have a small child? Sometimes after childbirth women can become extremely depressed. I think it would be a good idea to get a checkup and talk to a docter about your feelings to see if there is a solution. I wish you the best of luck. Hang in there!