A few years back, I was kind of ditched and ostracised by some very close friends and that put me in depression for a while. Now that I have come out of it, I find that I don't know how to trust anyone. I want to, but I just don't know who is the right one to trust. I am afraid once I trust someone, he will turn out to be like those friends of mine that I had. Once I think a new friend doesn't reply fast enough to my text, or says no to my invitation for something, I will distant away fromthem even though looking back, they are very nice to me and I don't think they are trying to turn me away. When peiple are nice to me, I don't believe it. How do you know who are the people to trust and how do you know when people are giving you polite excuses to turn you away or that they are genuinely occupied with other things at the moment?
2007-08-30 04:13:21 · 5 answers · asked by tu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
There is one part of trust in a relationship that you are probably not aware of. You don't learn to trust. You don't aquire it through study. You don't buy it at that store. It is one of the strongest emotions.
Trust, like Respect, is earned not given away. Not bought. Not found on the street or under a rock. IT is EARNED.
I suggest you are still depressed and are under anxiety because you do not know how to allow yourself to allow others to earn your trust. I suggest you get counseling for this problem.
2007-08-30 04:35:39 · answer #1 · answered by mikeae 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i noe how u feel that happened to me in middle school. i really liked this guy and the girls who i thought were my friend wrote him a love letter from me (which i didnt even noe about ) and practically the whole school found out. i was really hurt and didnt noe if i should trust ppl with my secrets anymore and i totally understand what u mean by how u dont believe it when ppl are nice to u and i absoultey understand the feeling that every little thing ur new friends do might mean they dont like u or something. but honestly now i think im getting better...im starting to trust my new friends even though now i tend to keep my secrets closer to myself. i guess u just have to give them an honest chance at being ur friend. show them that u appreciate their friendship and little things like that. my best friend right now and i had a few pronlems where i just alwasy felt like i was not that important to her but now i tried to loosen up abit and our friendship is working a lot better :) i hope that made sense.
take care :)
2007-08-30 04:34:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey man,
Can i ask firstly, did you take medication or get counseling for your depression. I don't mean to be rude it's just it sounds like you're isolating yourself a lot which might mean your seratonin levels are still low, in other words you are still suffering from depresion, talk to your GP
But you sound like you're a great guy, and a really caring person, and its completely natural to lack trust after bad experiences, so don't punish yourself for it.
Just take it slowly and step by step, talk to your friends about how you've had some bad experiences and you don't want to be untrusting but you're just extra careful these days. Your real friends will care, understand and accept it easily.
And look, i know society says us guys aren't meant to have emotions, and we should be modest and proud, but you'll struggle trusting anyone till you can trust yourself. So something i do to help with self confidence is after my shower i look in the mirror and spend just 2 minutes talking myself up, to myself. It sounds crazy but give it a go for 2 weeks and see if it helps
2007-08-30 04:30:01 · answer #3 · answered by steaphan101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well we lose some friends in some pts of our lives. u shld find frens who share yr interests n who can also accept yr weaknesses so they won ditch u 4 any lousy reason. well if ppl keep turning u away like most times it definitely means they're not interested or if they give lousy excuses.take time n u can analyse if wat they say or do is genuine
2007-08-30 04:36:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you'll never truly know who to trust the idea is to try anyway. and realize to that things do come up in other peoples lives it is not you its just the way life is
2007-08-30 05:09:12 · answer #5 · answered by redem 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋