My husband has cheated on me at least 2 times I know of and I have been thinking of ending it. Well about 2 weeks ago his brother brought me something for my son, and he stuck around for a bit. We were talking outside and he kissed my neck then kissed me. Now things are still going on and I couldn't be happier. I have fallen for him, because I knew things were over between me and my husband. I was sticking it out more for our kids. But we both have said we want to be together forever, the bond is so strong I have not been this happy in years. What do we do. He is going threw a divorce and I am leaving my husband this weekend. I can't think of the last time I was this happy. We have not has sex or anything like that but we tell eachother we love eachother. This is a feeling like no other... I don't know what to do now.. Anyone one with honest advise?
2007-08-30 04:11:22 · 14 answers · asked by so lost in life 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I didn't ask for some people to be rude. I am seriously unsure of what the hell is going on and just want advise not sarcasim. None of this was intentional, and I didn't make the move he did.
2007-08-30 04:47:36 · update #1
The feeling you are feeling is the newness or honeymoon stage of a relationship (with the BIL). In my opinion, I would put that on hold for a bit though.
1. He is your husbands brother. They are related and trust me, blood is always thicker. How do you know your husband isnt setting you up... Just a thought.
2. If you are serious about leaving, why not take time for yourself, to find yourself. You do not need to rush into a rebound relationship. Rebounds 99.9% of the time never work.
3. Do you know what this will do to your son? They are smarter than you think. It is going to really confuse the heck out of him too. Uncle is now mommies bf. You need to think of your child before the brother in law. Why, because your child will be there forever attatched to you. The man could leave at any moment
4. Sounds like you and bil are both going through difficult times and can use a good friend, but being lovers, could put a emotional strain on every one.
I hope that you really think this through seriously as there are many lives you will effect. I will say a prayer that you make the right choice for you and your family. Good luck.
2007-08-30 05:21:46 · answer #1 · answered by charm_link 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you should of stopped him. Second your planning on going thru a divorce and so is he you both are not ready to get involved with anybody, as your emotions are not stable. you should wait after 1 year of your divorce before you even start thinking about anybody else in your life. There is also your children how do you thing they will react to this mommy involved with uncle ----- this is a very emotional, confusing time for your children. If a divorce is what you plan to do then do it and You should be focusing on raising your children not looking for another man. The fact that he made a move on you shows what respect he has for you and his brother-in-law and wife. If he can do this to her what makes you think he wont do it to you. You may be happy now because he is filing in a gap that has been missing in your life for while, but how long will it last. Stay away from your brother in law for yourself and children sake.
2007-08-30 06:55:35 · answer #2 · answered by beliz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really do understand the love that you must feel for your husband's brother. Sometimes it is hard to choose who you fall in love with, but you need to be completely prepared for the trouble that is going to come from your actions. Your husbands family may be hostile toward you and your children WILL suffer becasue of this change. If i was you i would seriously consider the results of your actions...sometimes love is not worth ruining the lives of so many people. If you are not happy with your husband you should leave him, but you should think twice about going on with your brother-in-law. Good luck in whatever you choose to do!
2007-08-30 04:25:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to get hurt. Also, I dont think that I would make myself my kids aunt, (if i were you). What makes you think that the brother will turn out any better? Usually traits in a marriage are learned from the parents. Also, you will never be able to get away from your "ex" this way. You will have to see him at every family function. I would think very hard before I made a move like this one.
2007-08-30 04:19:41 · answer #4 · answered by Qyllix 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you would be finanically & socially useful yet your morals flow away alot to be needed. you're married expensive. So is your husband's brother. i do no longer care what you think of somebody's eyes are telling you, he's off limits. no longer in basic terms is going after a married guy disgusting, he's your husband's brother! Are you that egocentric to potientially decrease to rubble your husband's relationship together with his brother for a romp? while you're, you may attain the international does not revolve around you. in case you want a divorce, break up. there is no could smash people's lives because of the fact which you're warm for some dude. you do no longer even understand if the dude is into you. The humorous element is, in case you do connect with him, he will cheat on you. If he cheats with you, he will cheat on you. remember, what is going around comes around. I exceedingly doubt you desire your husband hooking up with considered one of your kinfolk or all of us else for that remember. Be an grownup and break up in case you want to sleep around. Spare your husband the soreness & achieveable STDs you will possibly carry domicile to him.
2016-10-09 10:44:24 · answer #5 · answered by holleman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
# 1 , Never good to mess with brother in law , will always be problems
# 2 Get a divorce
#3 Look for someone else
#4 Good luck
2007-08-30 06:29:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are barking up the wrong tree lady! This is your soon to ex's brother. More than likely this going to cause turmoil in the family. You would be wise to end this ASAP!
EDIT: I don't think people try to come off intentionally as rude...just that they can't believe that you would put yourself in this situation. Would your husband condone your relationship with his brother? Would his brother's wife condone it? I am willing to bet NO NO NO! So if you really want advise...be prepared to hear all kinds of it.
2007-08-30 04:17:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, the both of you need to tattoo a big scarlett letter on your foreheads. Sticking around for the kids? Give me a feakin' break. You're so noble tolerating a cheating husband for the sake of your kids, yet you're ready to jump into bed with their uncle. This whole situation makes me sick.
2007-08-30 04:23:47 · answer #8 · answered by ron-D 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, why are you still with him if you know he cheated?
Second, you are disrespectful as his brother is to him.
Women that are like you that need "Attention", should get divorced, move on and find people that are single.
2007-08-30 04:27:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an easy one. Keep moving forward with your separation and divorce and take it slowly. It may not be easily accepted, but if you take it slowly it will be easier for others to accept.
2007-08-30 05:02:41 · answer #10 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋