We were married 10 yrs and have 2 children. I wanted counseling, but he refused. I asked how can I be a better wife. I'm not saying that I was perfect. He really scarred me emotionally to the point where I felt like nothing. There was no physical abuse. He always threatened divorce and wanted space so he can see where he wanted to be. He packed and moved twice and I told him one more time I'm gone. Well he did it the third time and I left. I gave him what he wanted and now he's giving me so much grief. He wanted to reconcile, but i continued to see the same pattern in him. He still has a place in my heart. He took me to court for custody, he called Child Protection on me, he withholds his child support, I have an upcoming court date, he constantly keeps up strife with kids.
2007-08-30 04:00:31 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is to justaboutpeace. You are right, he didn't expect me to do what I did. Just recently, he called me and threatened to put his lawter in my life. When he was talking reconciliation, he constantly told me "you left" and because you left this and that happened or was wrong. He would come home the next morning and tell me his friends saw me in certain places and I have been home allnight with the kids in bed with me. I relocated to Texas and he had be going back and forth to court so I just packed up and came back to LA. I've been getting good job offers in Texas and I've decided I'm not going to let him hold custody over my head. I want a better job and I do want to get an Assoc Degree in Business. When we were married I enrolled and school and he wouldn't take me sometimes and when he did he wouldn't pick me up (We only had one veh at the time). He made the statement that "You need to do this on your own time".
2007-08-30 04:21:00 · update #1
He won't get custody unless you are unfit. The kids need to be in counseling to deal with thier wacky dad. The state will get the child support out of him.
2007-08-30 04:04:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You played his BLUFF! You took away what he thought he had, and that was CONTROL!
Once all the court stuff is done, he'll see he can't "withhold child support". The only way he can is to stop working and only find jobs under the table. ALOT of men do do this.
He knows the kids mean the world to you. If you pay attention to what he's doing, you'll see the KIDS are his only playing card. If he's sick like my ex, it would be very wise for you to take the extra steps in making sure all your neighbors, school officals, friends family know about all the troubles, cause he may end up kidnapping them. Get restraining orders, anything that gives you ALL rights to them.
Unfortunatly, this will continue until the kids turn 18!!! Unless he finds himself another woman he can play the same games with.
Good Luck.
2007-08-30 11:13:21 · answer #2 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It will completely end when your husband has decided that you will not just roll over and take his chit anymore. He thinks he can control you and when you have made it perfectly clear that you will not be controlled by him ever again, he will have no choice but to end all the trouble. He can't get custody of the children unless he can prove that you are an unfit parent. The law is on your side in this. This is so sad....because he is eventually going to alienate his own children.
2007-08-30 11:11:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants you back and you dont want to go back, that is why he is being this way. All the unnecessary drama will end when he gets a life and finds someone else.
Stand your ground for you kids, tell him and the judge or lawyers what he is doing with the kids, if he does not pay support have him served with contempt papers. Do not talk to him unless it involves the kids. Let him know that you do not and will not do the crap he is doing and you will not let your kids be hurt by what he is doing. If it keeps up, fight for supervised visitation.
2007-08-30 11:08:44 · answer #4 · answered by billiecep2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep documentation on EVERYTHING. Let them know of the past mental/emotional abuse to you and your children and make sure that you're doing everything in your power to do what's best for your children. He is acting out (or essentially having a temper tantrum) because he is no longer in control of you. This 'battle' with the children is his last thread of something he can TRY to control. Don't play into his childish games and keep everything on a LEGAL capacity.
I know that your love for him is still there, but your heart is holding on to what was the possibility... and not the REALITY of what your love could have been.
2007-08-30 11:14:54 · answer #5 · answered by JustAskin 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a control freak, and they are the worst kind. Get a journal and right times and dates of everything down that he says to the kids and you and tape the phone conversations you have with him the judge at some point will talk to the children in private and they can collaborate on his behavior.
2007-08-30 11:14:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh I sure do feel you. My husband of 13yrs and 3 kids left recently abandoned me. He also refused counseling. I kept letting him come back and forth. But I am learning know that I am not a doormat and to answer the question when will the trouble end when we as women start living for ourselves and not them anymore. It's about the kids
2007-08-30 11:25:17 · answer #7 · answered by danaispeace 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's enough right there to tell you that it's better this way. He is the worst kind. He's using anything in his power to hurt you even though this is what HE choose. You gave him three chance. you should get a harassment order put against him. If he was a real man he would deal with it instead of trying to hurt you and with hold child support. Get it garnished from his wages!!!!
2007-08-30 11:05:57 · answer #8 · answered by abstract_alao 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like my parents 26yrs ago. they loved to hate each other. wanted their own life to see others but still wanted to pull each others chains... its was terrible growing up in the middle of it all. both my parents were great parents. loved us kids but hated each other more. sad to say my mom passed away 2yrs ago and believe it or not all the mean and hatefull things they said to each other my father sat with their children and cried right along with us. and then he said i have always loved her but for some reason the hate was more powerfull and now shes gone i see that life is worth more then hate and im sorry to you kids and your mom for all the hate i put in your life. sometimes it takes a big bomb to open everyones eyes up to see what u should do instead of what u want ,,, hate is a very powerfull word and no matter how u 2 truely feel about each other u loved each other enough to make 2 beautiful children that now you have to teach whats right and wrong. just do your best and hopefully your ex will see it sooner then later
2007-08-30 11:12:52 · answer #9 · answered by kitttkat2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He had control over you during the marriage and now he is trying everything he can to keep that control. See a lawyer and find out what steps you can take to keep this at a minimum. Good luck I'm afraid you are in for a long ride.
2007-08-30 11:17:12 · answer #10 · answered by kitkat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋