╣╣ Can you write an amusing mystery story with these silly phrases?

Question

And noooooooo....It is NOT homework. I am a 58 yr old college graduate, WAY past the stage of homework. This is just some wholesome fun on YA.

1. I pity the fool.
2. Holy cow and mother of glory!
3. Yeah, good work Nancy Drew.
4. Two words.....Get therapy.
5. Stop drooling and get your act together.
6. Oh look, it's Dumb and Dumber.

BONUS PHRASE: When we get home I am going to rip your heart out through your knee cap.

►IF YOU WISH TO ANSWER, PLEASE POST YOUR INTENT SO I WON'T CLOSE ON YOU.... ouch!! ◄

Answer 1

Walking home with my hubby he said "I pity the fool" who thinks he can beat me up." "Oh really," I answered? "Yep." Well just then we came across the old team from highschool and they were still mad at him. "Oh no he said, Holy cow and mother of glory, look who it is."
"Who?"
"The old team." was his rely.
"You mean the one you never showed up for on the BIG DAY?"

"Yes, good work Nany Drew. Why else would I be so upset?"

I was sick of him being mean to me....I decided to let him fend for himself.....2 words get therapy as I crossed to the other side and let him fight his own battles.
"Hey guys " he said as he approached. he looked a little nervous and when he gets nervous he drools. Well, if I were you I would stop drooling and get your act together. This may be your last day alive....well just at that moment....I came back with a BIG knife.....HEY GUYS I said waving the knife. "Oh look one said, it is DUMB AND DUMBER.

WEll the knife scared them and they took off. THanks my hubby said.

No problem, but when we get home I am going to rip your heart out through your knee cap. I said grinning evilily.