Boyfriend wants me to press charges on my ex?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend now for 4 months. My ex husband just found out about him and is making our lives miserable. He's constantly driving past my house, stalking me and lately I've been receiving "anonymous" texts and phone calls from someone claiming I am dating her boyfriend and that I should watch my back. My boyfriend thinks it's going to get worse. He wants me to press charges and file a restraining order on my ex but I have 2 children w/him and I don't want my girls to suffer. Meanwhile, my boyfriend said he's afraid for my life and his and doesn't want to the situation to get out of hand. I told him to let me deal w/it but he says I don't have control of the situation. He was supposed to take a trip to CA w/me and now he's having second thoughts because of what "might" happen. I told him if that's the way it's going to be he should not be w/me and he said I'm blowing it out of proportion. I'm so dam fustrated! Im thinking of just breaking it off but I do care.

Answer 1

do what your boyfriend says..the children will not suffer.If you allow him to do this he will either keep doing it or it might get worse.Take action now before it gets to late.DO NOT let him be in control.

Answer 2

Been there done that....I so feel your pain but don't make things worse unless you TRULY fear the ex. You know this guy better than anyone and your current boyfriend doesn't. It will get better and eventually it will stop, maybe your ex is going through a guilt phase. Or maybe he realizes what he had and it's tearing him up to see you with someone else. Whatever his motives are, if he isn't scaring you or the kids, then he is really just waisting his time and kind of making an a** out of himself, he will get bored with it soon enough if you two don't make a big deal out of it. It's the attention he is wanting.

Answer 3

Well I guess your Ex has done his job huh? He set out to ruin your new relationship and be in control of you and it worked. You played right into his hands... You need to listen to the boyfriend he is so on the money with this one! Wake up and open your eyes or you will never have a good healthy relationship as long as your Ex doesn't want you too. You are just showing your daughters how to be treated by letting this continue..Get a restraining order on this psycho.

Answer 4

actually, your girls are suffering... they are not dumb... do you want the girls to put up w/ this crap from their future men? stand up to the jerk, get a restraining order preventing him to even drive down your street! =) If you ignore how your boyfriend feels, he will assume you don't care about him, and care more about your ex... =( change the phone number, too. There are other ways he can communicate w/o having your number when it has to do w/ the kids. Get a land line. Get caller ID. Do something! Ignoring it won't make it go away. He can pick up the kids in a public place. Also, if it keeps up, you can request a psychic evaluation on the jerk! This is important to keep an eye on him especially where the girls are concerned! Eventually, it will escalate to where he will make up lies and tell the girls awful things about you.

Answer 5

Pressing charges might be a bit much but, think about it- Is this how your ex is going to act anytime you bring a new man around? If you don't take action this time then he will just do again next time.
I applaud you for thinking of your daughters and about what is best for them but don't you think that having a happy mommy is a good thing for them too?

Try talking to your ex- offer to let him meet this new boyfriend- he may be interested in finding out who is spending time with his children and it might help cool things down a little. If he decides not to work with you then tell him that if he doesn't quit that you are pressing charges- at least give him a warning since you are concerned about hurting the relationship he has with your daughters. Then if he continues- he has only himself and his ego to blame.
Good luck!

Answer 6

Yeah. Stalking is one of those things that should always be taken seriously. I don't know whether or not your ex has a propensity for violence, but there's always a first time. Go for the restraining order. I see why you divorced this loon.

Hell no, you shouldn't break it off!! One, it's not your b/f's fault and two, that would give your crackpot ex exactly what he wants. If you set that precedent, he'll never leave you alone again.

Answer 7

If you break up with your boyfriend then you ex has done what he has set out to do. Don't give him what he wants! I personally think that your boyfriend is right you should go to the cops. You need a protective order not a restraining order. The protective order is much more effective. Good luck

Answer 8

his behavior may escalate. filing a police report doesn't mean you have to involve your daughters, but it will set a precedent for his behavior if it should get more out-of-hand by showing that you have been active in notifying police of his erratic behavior patterns. having this already on file, will aid in getting a restraining order if he does escalate.

if i were you, i would also save the mysterious texts and any other voicemails or notes he leaves for you. carry a small camera with you. if you notice him following you, take pics. although you are in a public place and he has a right to be there, seeing you documenting his behavior will probably spook him enough to make him get his act together.

you don't want to wait until he takes the children or hurts someone. at least file a police report. go to the station armed with your evidence to document harassment.

btw, your ex is basically acting like a terrorist. he is using fear to try to get your to modify your way of living and your decisions. don't let him succeed. at least send the msg that his behavior is unexcusable, immature, and won't be taken lightly.

Answer 9

Start documenting the drive by's and texts'. Your ex is indeed harassing you.

You need to listen to your boyfriend. Every relationship you have will be exactly like this if you don't put a stop to it now.

You are not protecting your daughters by refusing to act, you may possibly be endangering them. Get the restraining order.

The only reason I can think of as to why you wouldn't is because maybe you get something from this controlling behavior.

Answer 10

Seeing as you have two children, I would think their safety would be of utmost concern to you. The actions of your ex are those of an emotionally unstable man, and one who could potentially harm you or your new boyfriend. A restraining order to keep him away from the property isn't a bad idea, and the ex may still be able to have supervised visits with the children. Your new guy is thinking in the best interests of you and the kids...he deserves your appreciation.

Answer 11

If you feel that your ex will harm you then by all means take the necessary steps to protect yourself. You have a problem because your current relationship is crumbling because your past is still with you. You may need to resolve your problems before continuing your current relationship. It is not fair to this guy to have to be in the middle. Your current has to also realize that you do have children with your ex and that you have to have some type relationship with him for the sake of the children. Seems your current man just wants your ex out of the picture completely and that will not happen because you have children and he is their father. He will always be around and if your current man can't accept that then maybe he is not the man for you. I would still be curious about the female calling stating she is your current mans lady. He may have skeletons in his closet that need cleaning out. Good Luck.