baby with his ex and he can't afford to be a daddy again so soon. But he didn't think about that when he didn't want to use condoms and I couldn't take contraceptives because they make me sick and my doctor adviced me against it. What can I say to my boyfriend or should I let him go because I will be able to take care of my baby financially on my own and have a very strong support system from my family emotionally. I won't have an abortion
2007-08-30 02:29:12 · 23 answers · asked by myyus4cedl 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If he reacts that way already, think of how he'll treat your child. Dump him. He's not worth it. Also consult a lawyer for child support!
2007-08-30 02:34:32 · answer #1 · answered by Astragalo 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋
It's obvious you wanted to get pregnant or you would have tried another form of contraception. There are many forms.
He didn't care because he knew you weren't on birth control. He's hoping if you did get pregnant you would have an abortion so he wouldn't run away....You are hoping that he will profess his undying love for you and agree to marry you and live happily ever after.
Problem is neither of you has been living in the real world. Call his bluff and tell him you are having a baby. If he reacts poorly, then just tell him that regardless there is a baby coming, he is the father, and he will pay child support. So he can either step up to the plate and be a man or he can run away. Either way you have started the life of this little one without really thinking things through and now you both have to grow up and be parents. (and he now has baby two and still hasn't grown up...think about the irresponsible guy who is now the father of your child)
I hope that everything turns out for the best and that you and your child do have that happily ever after....I would suggest that in the future you make decisions after seeking lots of advice and thinking things through as much as possible. You can't go through life on a wing and prayer, hoping for the best, taking such careless chances, doing everything based on your feeling of the moment and expect to be happy and successful.
Parenting takes thorough thought and lots of prayers. You make or break a child...they have to be your primary focus, you have to think things through, you need to be careful and consitent if you want to raise a happy, stable child.
Good luck and God Bless!
2007-08-30 02:48:17 · answer #2 · answered by Bubbles 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, don't sleep with him again, whether you're pregnant or not. He's a jerk. He's telling you very clearly that you can't count on him for anything more important than sex. Let him go.
If you are pregnant, it is his moral and legal responsibility to give financial support to any child he creates, whether he likes it or not. If he doesn't want babies, maybe he should get a damned vasectomy instead of spreading his seed across the planet. It would be much cheaper for him in the long run.
Good for you for not wanting an abortion. Best of luck. Dump the jerk.
2007-08-30 03:20:28 · answer #3 · answered by helene 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you answered you own question. But I would like to add that you have to take care of your own body. If he does not want to use a condom and you know you are not taking any form of contraceptive that's when you tell him to suit up of get off the flight. Please be responsible and not just allow anything to go, it's your body and your future. Even if he was a supportive father the mother ends up caring more for the child than he does so you have to definitely be ready when making these choices.
Good luck !!
2007-08-30 02:37:35 · answer #4 · answered by nicki 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You obviously know you can already do it without him. Go for it. You don't need the stress of dealing with someone who may not want to be involved. Worry only about you and baby if that's the case. Your bf is not the only guy like that, my ex is pretty much the same way. Only he wants to be involved, but only when he wants to, never to actually help with anything. He has at least 2 kids that I'm aware of, possibly more. Yet he's not responsible for any of them. I actually wish he was the kind of guy who would run away, cuz then I wouldn't have to deal with him at all. Instead he likes to just pop in when he wants. Anyway, don't waste your time trying to involve your bf if he doesn't want to be. He knows what it's all about, you don't need to talk to him or try to convince him. Either he wants to, or he doesn't, simple as that.
2007-08-30 02:50:35 · answer #5 · answered by angelbaby 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that finances is not only his problem. Do you know if he is still involved with the previous baby mother because thats how some men are. As i say to men like that if you dont want to get a woman pregnant wrap it up and you said your doc disagree with you for taking them (mind you i hate them to because they cause alot of damage to your body after a while) but I am not saying that you should be popping out babies all the time. But he`s a freak let him go if he wants to but that same very child he may want some day. It happens if you can take care of your child find yourself a good damn lawyer and he wont have a choice, plus to i never believe in putting a man in court for child support a judge should NEVER have to tell a man you have to support your child its just wrong. But mother to a woman that may be a mother I hope things work out for you and your bundle of joy most mothers never neglect they children but men mostly do it I never tried to figure out why but they do and i see them as COWARDS running away from they responsibility so its your choice of what you want to at this moment i would`nt encourage abortion cause I dont believe in that either. So as i say if you are pregnant have a safe pregnancy and let him decide what he wants and if you are pregnant PLEASE and i say PLEASE DONT STRESS yourself with him to put any pressure on your little one to cause a miscarrige trust me he`s not worth it enjoy your pregnancy, talk to your baby, enjoy the moments of him being alive in you its a good feeling (mother of 2 beautiful girls) you have a gift accept it someday he will but it will probably be to late. Good luck
2007-08-30 04:40:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Goo thing you found out about him now, eh? Nice to know! Now, go find a man who has some CHARACTER who wont get you preggo, if youre not... Raise your standards girl! You deserve better! Dont you think? I bet your parents do!
Also, if you go after him for child support, that means he will have access to the baby..You sure you want that too?
2007-08-30 02:37:56 · answer #7 · answered by Momto8gr8 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of him regardless of whether you're preg or not. Obviously he's not in the relationship for any other reason than fun... when the real stuff comes down, he's a runner. Is that the type of person you want in your life??? Don't lower your standards to accept that, you're better than him.
2007-08-30 03:40:45 · answer #8 · answered by CW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him do it on your own and with your family be the best mum you can for your baby and then put a claim in with the CSA when the baby is born. I cant believe most men have their fun then leave their responsibilties with the mum!!!! grrrr
YOU CAN DO IT
2007-08-30 02:39:42 · answer #9 · answered by sexiebum 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say... get rid of him now... whether your pregnant or not.
Because if you aren't, it sounds as if he doesn't care if he gets you pregnant, but wants nothing to do with you once you are. I'm assuming... hoping... he's young and immature?
Honestly, if you're having sex with someone and it's a relationship, you deserve to have someone that actually cares about you and your well-being.
Take care of yourself. Good luck!
2007-08-30 03:23:19 · answer #10 · answered by Arneb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋