I have such a bad eating disorder and wish I had will power. I know my husband will not touch me over the fact that all the pregnancy wgt I shed years ago came back. He is mean anyway,lots of times and we all know divorce is hell--even a civil one-if you know anyone who has been there. I would just like to know, for my own self esteem, do other men love through the wgt gain, without cheating or putting the woman down>? (My face is pretty..I swear.) If I knew there were men out there that could accept it, I would just feel more self-confident in my current situation. (Just need to know if I am being too idealistic.)
2007-08-30 02:05:34 · 24 answers · asked by knownot 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's a self-control issue just like alcoholism, gambling, rages, etc. Like it or not, self-control issues have a long history of undermining romantic interest. And when are you going to take some responsibility?
Usually when somebody has one self-control issue, they have a bunch of others as well. Time to be honest with yourself and get your act together. Self-control is good.
2007-08-30 02:22:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I put on a lot of weight before I met my husband. I feel disgusting, but he loves me and continues to tell me that he loves me just the way I am. I know if I weighed 100 he would love me or if i weighed 500 pounds he would love me. It sounds like he wants a barbie doll not a wife. You need to get the self confidence up to leave him. Emotional abuse is just as bad a physical. Don't stay in a relationship because divorce is unpleasant. You don;t even have to divorce him, move out take the kids and leave. Get your own house and file for a separation. Do not put up with that.
2007-08-30 09:27:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely honey. I'm probably the only bride on the planet who actually *gained* weight before the ceremony... in fact I've gained about 20-30lb since I met my partner. He still married me. He could care less what weight I am as long as I'm happy. I'm someone who eats when I'm stressed. Since the service in May I've actually started losing weight... I'm way too happy being married to need to comfort eat!
A mean man will be mean whatever size you are. He's the one with the problem not you ;-)
PS. I also suffered from an eating disorder and got a lot of help with that - and my self-esteem - from working a 12 Step program. (eg Overeaters Anonymous, Food Addicts Anonymous or Compulsive Eaters Anonymous)
2007-08-30 09:22:54 · answer #3 · answered by dakinijones 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honey, there are lots of decent men out there that will love their wives through pregnancy, weight gain and through depression. Sounds like you found a jerk and even though divorces are bad, any man that would cheat on you, beat you down and treat you poorly isn't one you want to stay with.
See a counsellor. They can help you with your low self-esteem. If you want to lose weight, do it for you, not because some jerk says your fat. A half-hour walk a day will do wonders for your energy and fitness level, eating healthier foods will help you feel better inside. When you feel good inside it radiates out. Don't put up with your husbands crap.
2007-08-30 09:17:08 · answer #4 · answered by sadie m 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, there are...and shame on you for thinking otherwise. Your husband is abusive if he is being mean to you about your weight. And take it from me...if he's being mean now, he'll be mean if and when you lose the weight. I was fat & ugly according to my X....and trust me I may have been chubby but still had an hour glass figure and people always say I'm very pretty. When I lost the weight I still wasn't good enough...I was wearing a size 3 but I still have a large chest 34DD, And I was tight....Pamela anderson figure. He then said I was un-proportionate....if you aren't good enough for him now, you never will be. Either he needs counceling or you need to find a new man.
2007-08-30 09:20:23 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My hubby loves rounded women--he doesn't even think they're attractive unless they are size 16 or above. And there are LOTS of other men who feel that way!
Your man is an asshole for treating you like that--tell him you're filing for divorce because of it---when he sees how much $$ he'll spend on child support, he might change his tune. And if he doesn't mend his ways, go through with the divorce. Would you be any more unhappy than you already are??
2007-08-30 09:39:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
One of the best looking guys that I ever met never had an interest in me. I am attractive (married now, happily) and never had a problem getting a first date. Anyhow, he got a girlfriend and when he brought her around to meet us all we were surprised. She weighted about 250 lbs coke bottle glasses and he ended up marrying her. This is what he liked. There are singles web sites dedicated to over weight women, so there must be an abundance of men who like heavy women. Personally, my husband would be devastated if I let myself go. I love him and respect the fact that when he married me he gave me his life to take care of it in any way that I can. I am in my mid forty's, have had children, exercise regularly and had implants to enhance my image for him (us), My figure is better than most teenagers, I work hard at it, eat what ever I want because the exercise keeps the fat away...although for some reason junk food and donuts don't appeal to me very much. I think that it isn't too much to ask of yourself to exercise regularly....you will be healthier for your children and live longer, besides your marriage will be better. Try it, after a couple of weeks you will learn to love it.
2007-08-30 09:26:12 · answer #7 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey its not about the weight is about his shallowness. You are beautiful no matter how much you weigh your a mom and brought someone even more special into your life. You need to leave the situation before your child sees it as a normal behavior from and man and and wife. that will define their relationships as they mature and you want your child surrounded by loving caring parents, not unconfident or shallow(him) parent. i gained 50 lbs after my kids and felt that my hubby wouldn't find me attractive anymore but here we are still in love and lust, time for a new partner sweety.
2007-08-30 09:25:39 · answer #8 · answered by mamaathome 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband thinks I am beautiful. And I'm no longer a size 5 after 2 kids. I'm working on making my way down, but at my current weight, he does still want me. If you want to help, buy pretty things for YOURSELF. Nothing make you feel better about you than when you have a nice outfit with something pretty under it. He'll notice too. Another things that may help is going out like you used to. Do your hair and make up, make your self feel good again by looking at a woman in the mirror and not looking at yourself like the mom. :-) I have to say what helped me the most, and what helped me starting to loose my weight was feeling like me again, not a mom... just a woman.
2007-08-30 09:12:47 · answer #9 · answered by Beatngu 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Love and physical attraction are not the same thing. You are oversexed. A man may love you, but lose sexual interest in you due to your appearance. You are worth more than your sex and your appearance. Besides, 'faithful' spouses turn off the lights when things get ugly and they do! That's just time.
2007-08-30 09:24:04 · answer #10 · answered by skunk pie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋