How can i build my self-esteem?

Question

I know i have a bad opion of myself, and i dont beleive that i am good enough for my boyfriend. He is very understanding, but i may drive him away with my constant insecurities Anyone with similar experience have advice?

Answer 1

First off, God bless you, for it is truly not fun to walk around with this constant turmoil. Know that you are blessed all the same and that we are prone to make mistakes and it is okay to not get it right the first time...for me sometimes the sixth time lol. Maybe start your day off with a bowl of "I Love You" in the mirror and hey, help yourself to seconds if you feel so.
The point is if you never feel good enough for yourself you won't ever feel good enough for anyone else. I bet you are understanding of other peoples faults or mistakes aren't you.
Of course you are. With all this worring you don't even see how big and wonderful your heart is and all it needs is a little encouragment to look in the direction of you from time to time, thats all. This is and can be a long process and is seldomly if ever done in the course of a night. Some may like you better as a push over some will follow suit and help encourage and some may feel they are losing you completely and will try to ground you to yourself in the image of you that works best for them... so keep this in mind, when their day is done and they go to sleep for the night who are you left with beside those around you asleep. Exactly, it's just you and what you can live with and that never changes unless you make the change and I think you can. These thing can help you remember that you need to love yourself so that you can truly love others. My situation is different than yours so my steps 1 - 10 will be different than yours as is everyones but the basic principles of being okay with yourself and your self worth are always the same. You are worthy for you are here.
Be it your desire to change that you measure yourself with more so than your inability to meet immediate requirments.
You can do this, and say something good about yourself everyday! If ever you are in doubt come back on here and we will tell you how good it is to hear from you and help in anyway we can.
Love ya and wish you plenty in life.

Answer 2

Self esteem occurs when you are sure about the people around you and how you complete goals.

Firstly you must acknowledge this is self-esteem that you are having a problem with, not confidence or understanding your capabilities.

Secondly self-esteem must be gained by being kind, caring and understanding toward other people. This is the very first step as it helps you realise that you are as good as you should be, thus increasing self-esteem.

Thirdly create goals for yourself and do not be afraid to throw yourself into the spotlight sometimes. The random events that happen in your life could change it dramatically and you'd never know unless you contribute your full potential. For example singing in a contest or giving your opinion in an argument. Many people do these things for a living, why can't you try?

So overall just being positive and being honest is the key to a high self-esteem, however do not become too cocky when you do get there.

Answer 3

Just to get you started.

Try to actually listen to what you say inside your own head about yourself. It will be quite revealing. Try this for a week and you will have a guage on the types of things that you say about yourself and the situations that cause you say those things.

Then for the next week wear an elastic band around your wrist. Everytime that you catch yourself being negative then ping the band hard. It sounds mad but you will then associate physical pain with negative self talk.

Then after a week each time you catch yourself being negative ping the band then repeat a positive affirmation to cancel out the negative talk. Say the positive at least 10 times, if you feel brave enough then say it out loud.

Keep this up and your self esteem will grow. It will take time but self esteem is internal and cannot be corrected externally. You have to find your worth within not without. Go volunteer in a hospital or hospice or something that will help.

One affirmation to get you started. "I am a valuable human being. Nobody else is like me I am unique. I have skills and talents that can make a difference. I will use them today to help someone in need. I am a valuable person".

I hope this helps, please keep in touch and good luck.

Answer 4

yeah insecurity definitely drives ppl away...
I don't know if I can tell a female how to build self-esteem, but I can tell you what I would tell a male:

Just start acting like you have it. When you act like you have it, people will treat you like you have it, and that will make you start feeling like you do have it. The next thing you know, you're not insecure anymore.

The other thing is, things will happen that will make you feel insecure/lower you self-esteem. If you can be strong when this **** happens and not let it affect you, then, well, it doesn't affect you. Also being strong in the face of opposition naturally builds character/self-esteem/whatever.

Answer 5

I wouldn't want to be with someone until I was right with myself. Get rid of these thoughts about "not being good enough".

Do something you never thought that you'd have the guts to do. Speak your mind. Believe in your dreams and ideas. Tell people what you think.

Make realistic goals with a time limit. Somethings that you want to do but have never gotten around to doing. Make yourself proud.

And never, ever put yourself down. You're all that you've got, understand that? So you need to be your biggest fan.

Answer 6

Each person is created equal in love. That is all you need to be a good girlfriend. Your insecurities were formed from past experiences, mostly bad, and you need to turn your back on them and just be the person you were meant to be. It looks as if you have a friend who will accept the best in you - so that is what you must give him.

Answer 7

May sound like an odd answer but I have always had low self-esteem, until I forced myself to get a bar job.

The confidence boost I had from it was unbelievable and it helped me in all areas of life, especially relationships.

Just a suggestion, but it worked for me 110% : )

Answer 8

There are many reasons why women suffer from low self-esteem. Perceived lack of self-worth, uncontrollable jealousy, relationship break-ups, high levels of anxiety or stress, inability to think positively, mild depression, and MANY other issues affect the self-esteem of millions of women every day.

Answer 9

Self esteem is nothing but realising ur worth for the wrold

n this is only possible wen u start seeng ur own success instead of failures
realisig ur strenghts n working on ur weakness to mk it a strength
this is probably wat everyone wud say.......
but read this carefully....

for an example .,.........
u r a human being< hopefully>
lol
ur body cells r reproducng continuously.........about a million cells a day
they all r programmed by ur body after they hv bn produced
its ur brain tht programmes it to b scared to b happy,.......
so it is upto u to control ur new cells to b the way u want to b

The process of reproduction and evolution in nature provides ur infinite opportunity to mk ourselves bettr human beings......

tk full advantage of it

Answer 10

Don't drink and don't smoke, go to bed early, get up early and be the best you can be. Don't look back, but look forward. The Ark only had one window and it was in the top so Noah couldn't look back at the rottenness and evil behind him, but if he needed love he could look up and forward. Keeps me going. Amen to the guy that told me that 20 plus years ago.