Has anyone felt like that they are one person....with a set of characteristics, but cannot express them because of their physical appearance? For example i want to be someone socialable and get to know lots of people...but i feel like my appearance makes me look unapproachable and non-conversational. I'm a big fan of sports and use to play football and basketball for the A grade team for all my junior years but failed to make a grade team in senior years where all my friends went to because my body didnt grow like they did...Everytime i go out with my friends, i feel like im the black sheep....All my friends are the tall, athletic good looking types and im something else. When all my friends get invited to parties i never do, because i guess im not as memorable. It's carving me up...and now i have no ambitions for the future and feel like my life is on a decline from now on....
2007-08-29 23:40:59 · 10 answers · asked by Tom_T1988 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Physical appearance is not what defines us.
Our bodies are just a shell to house our spirit. What truly matters is how you portray yourself to others. How you treat others.
If you can work at finding inner peace, finding what makes you truly happy, everything else will fall into place.
I used to be picked on relentlessly when I was in school due to my weight. My second grade picture shows a tall thin girl. My third grade picture... I was chubby.
The summer of 2nd grade going into 3rd is when I was molested; I couldn't talk to anyone about it, not even my parents because it was a taboo subject. They knew about it and knew what happened because a neighbor kid called them; however, it didn't change the fact that I had no other way to cope other than turning to food.
Well things spiraled downhill from there and until recently, yes... I was let down by my physical appearance. I still have difficulty looking in the mirror... but I have also learned that it's not my physical appearance that matters, and I really don't care what society thinks anymore.
Society has a warped sense of beauty. So, my favorite quote is "society be damned". It's your friends and loved ones that truly matter.
You will find inner peace, you need to find something to focus on other than what you consider to be your short-comings.
2007-08-30 08:42:57 · answer #1 · answered by Totem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those who get the most, make the most out of the way things turn out.
I have a friend just like you and hes often been depressed about it though many times he wont say it unless hes really drunk....
Honestly i can tell you that those friends you have probably love you very much, cause i love my friend very much hes actually my best friend.
Its about maturity buddy. Im not attacking you at all but i hope you understand that something such as appearance isnt really important in life.... the people who make it a big deal dont really understand whats really important in life.
Get out there do things. People are going to treat you a certain way thats guaranteed.... but honestly it doesnt matter who you are.... people are always going to find a reason to hate you unless they are mature in which case they wont really care.
Life is wayyyy too short to be hung on appearance bro.
I used to be depressed about the way i looked for a long time... mainly because i had gotten overweight... i lost the weight but then i realised.... that there was people who treated me the same while i was overweight and then thin....
and some that treated me better when i became thin..... but it made me realise how the problem was never me.... it was just the people around me. Those who always accepted me were my true friends and because of this it really changed the way i acted(i matured)
Life can be ripped from you at any moment.... dont let it go to waste.... it will be hard but nothing really worth having is easy to attain.
If you have a sense of humor that will always make you loved by everyone who knows how to love.
And treat other people the way you would want to be treated. With respect and dignity.. but dont try to pretend your not short. just accept it.
In time you will be happier.
A word of advice is to study your on life... like if it was a book then ask yourself why you act certain ways and do that with other people too... not the same types of people but a variety of people.
Eventually youll understand what really matters in life.
Just be happy. Find something new , a new crowd or anything really....
I can understand some of your depression as i am my friends shoulder whenever he needs it... but also realise..
no one can define you... your the person doing that.
Just be more confident. Try to match a persons energy when you talk to them.... treat them as an equal because they are equal to you.... our size will never determine our value as a human being.
2007-08-30 00:27:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Firstly Tom, you have to realize one thing.
Your life is decided by your own decision.
That's my top principle.
Whether I want to be success, healthy, tall, smart,
Dont let others dictate what you should do.
Physical form?
Do you know the legendary best player of soccer?
The name is Pele from Brazil.
If you see his picture or video, he is not that tall.
He can be considered as smaller than the others if not smallest.
I was once feel depressed because I am not handsome.. I think. At that time almost no one wants to befriend me.
But I realized, there is no time for mourning and such.
It is proven now, more and more friends befriend me, and now I even have to choose one of them to be my wife. Confused :D
Now, my lifestory wont be this way if I let myself succumb to the 'I am not handsome, bye bye world.. I will sit down in the corner'
Your story will not be different either if you are just wasting your time mourning, "why why why why why".
It is useless.
There wont be any fairy godmother coming and give any magic dust, or whatever.
It is always,
YOUR LIFE, YOUR DECISION
Hope this helps.
and
See you on the TOP!
Kind regard,
Ryonn
2007-08-29 23:52:52 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Math Contributor 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not your looks, it's you. Or at the very least, your belief that it's your looks. I could feel the same way, but I don't. I'm a small guy, but I fill every room that I go in to. An alpha male and people see it. people approach me and call me by name because they want to. Not every one, but many. I don't hit the bag at the bar we hang out in because I won't allow my position to be degraded by an irrelevant instance. The people around me don't ask me to a second time because they don't want their opinions misled by my girlish score.
My point is, your presence is not determined by your size. Honor and respect and being a person that people want to be around and be nice to is what gives you presence in a room. I get the impression that you are young and have ample opportunity to grow beyond this. Chin up. Look 'em in the eyes. They'll know that you're there.
2007-08-30 00:03:33 · answer #4 · answered by Vinny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
worrying too lots approximately our appearances could make us lax on different factors of life. we are all eye-catching and makeup purely damages that attractiveness. organic attractiveness is a lot extra advantageous and much extra advantageous is attractiveness from interior. Styling your hair ought to truthfully harm it . we don't observe it whilst we are attempting to get a definite look. yet whilst we've broken our hair and faces & we've bogged down with the styling we would start to be certain our organic attractiveness lower back. the single which became into constantly there. And it ought to look much extra advantageous than whilst we've been "fixing" it. Going to college would desire to be for studying to not positioned on a manner practice. there are one in all those super form of distractions there already, why upload a jealous woman who needs your hair, a guy that stalks you by way of fact he observed you with the aid of the form you gown, or a yet another jealous woman who thinks she's gruesome by way of fact she does not have the understand the thank you to do (f)makeup ( or worse does not understand that's makeup). Face it, all of us get lazy. If it is not now, that's whilst it concerns - after the toddler. perhaps ingesting small quantities of five or so nutrition will enable you to preserve wholesome weight. it extremely is meant to hurry up your metabolism. this would desire to make contributions to good pores and skin and hair as nicely. So do not situation, human beings care too lots approximately seems those days, and then they run off to do cosmetic surgical operation to their cosmetic surgical operation. And it does not constantly start up out massive. do not situation approximately issues that are actually not a situation, that's purely a distraction.
2016-10-17 07:01:13 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am tall and I find shorter men to be more attractive than a taller man. Shorter men seem to be very spunky, active and energetic. They have character, are funny and make me laugh, I think they have great personalities. This is probably because they are trying to make up for something that they feel they are lacking. Just work on being as great a person as you can be, start reading some books to develope your mind and self esteem and don't be so hard on yourself. You will be great!
2007-08-29 23:59:57 · answer #6 · answered by bobcatlady2u 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just like John Mayer said "I'm bigger than my body give me credit for..." and I agree. My sex (male or female) hinders me I believe. Being a female isn't helpful with the things I'm interested in. It should NOT be this way, but it is. Society makes it this way. I get along better with males but males whom are married tend to shy away because they know it would cause problems in their relationship and I have to shy away from any type of a close relationship with a male because my husband would not be too fond of that (gay or not). Also my interest, college football, four-wheelin, hikin, mostly outdoor activities, plus beer drinking ;), those are things females do not *usually* associate with it. Now I'm not saying I want to be a male (hell no) but being a female with the person I am on the inside is difficult sometimes. I think our souls are who we are in perfection, with our souls there is no height, no gender, no weight, just us and who we really are. So I feel your pain but we gotta fight to rise above it, it makes us stronger and better people for it.
2007-08-30 03:08:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude! Start a band already! Sport is for self-important jerks who kiss their biceps in the mirror and like to touch guys. Music is glorious - it captivates audiences and even the most ugly slapper can get groupies. Take it on!
2007-08-31 17:06:12 · answer #8 · answered by splurkles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That really sucks. But you have to accept yourself the way you are. If you aren't the most goodlooking, then who cares? And if they don't invite you to parties then it's their loss. Have your own party, make it the best party ever and only invite average looking people. See, there's more average people in the world. And, hehe, then the goodlooking people will be the ones that feel left out.
You don't have to feel unhappy, don't let that ruin your life.
2007-08-30 00:52:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Of course apperence let people down it what makes people human.
2015-04-19 18:02:44 · answer #10 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋