Its been six months+ since ex left me for a guy that i know and its eating away at me everyday, i cant get it out of my mind, i think about her constantly and think about her with him and it makes me sick, i love her still and really miss her. we've had no contact after the break up and i constantly wonder if i'll see her and if she'll call me, she did call me at 130 in the morning and play our song down the phone to me, although she withheld the number, it was her a noone else would do that and noone would have known to play that song apart from her.
All i keep hearing about from people is how he taking her on holiday ect..... it drives me mad and i just keep having visions of tem together, its like i'm torturing myself, maybe i'm punishing myself for failing.
I just ned some advice on how i can get over this obsessive thoughts process that seems to be going on in my head its making me ill and taking over my life, actually i haven't been myself for a long long time.
2007-08-29 23:20:55 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
She would have withheld her number so i wouldn't have any evidence, she would have done this because she wouldn't know how i would react, and didnt want me to tell people that she called me, but playing that song was her way to say it was her that only me and her would have known. I dont know why she would have done this, i started obsessing about that aswell thinking maybe she wanted me ect..... more **** to think about.
2007-08-29 23:45:56 · update #1
OMG...ive looked at your other questions and they are all releated to this biatch...u need to realise that whilst you are moping after her she is havign the time of her life with another guy..how is that fair to you? shes not worth wasting another second thought over...the way to get over her is to get udner someone else...get out there...have fun...go dating...she has made her choice and you have spent 6 months too long thinking over her.
2007-08-29 23:28:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Please don't despair. Many of us have experienced the exact same thing. You've been rejected by someone you love and it really hurts. Are you absolutely certain that the person playing that record down the phone was her? If so, why would she with-hold the number? If she was being so obvious as to play 'your song', surely she'd want you to know it was her. Maybe someone's playing mind games with you. There's only one way to put yourself out of your misery. Be bold and ring her.Maybe she's testing you to see if you're bothered. Ask if it was her? Even if she denies it, you ought to be able to tell by her reaction. If it WAS her, it was a rather immature approach. If it WASN'T her, then it's probably time you faced the fact that you must let go. One way or the other, you have to do this for your own sanity. Tell her how you feel, you've nothing to lose! Good luck. I hope it works out.
2007-08-30 06:36:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Sorry but you need to move on from that relationship.
Don't get too hung up on the phone call, it might have been a lovely gesture from her or the bloke doing it himself- dwelling on it will not help you move on, and it definitely won't help you get back with her.
You haven't failed just because the relationship didn't work out- it is a two way thing. To be honest, don't get annoyed or tortured at the thought of her being with someone else, that is sort of her choice and life.
Get on with things, try and meet new people, talk to other people at work and then when things are going great with your new partner, new job and new rocket car she will literally be crying at your feet begging to take you back because Johnny Hansome was actually Johnny Crack addict.
Good luck though
2007-08-30 07:17:34 · answer #3 · answered by James J Turner esq 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's completely normal to feel like this initially particularly if your ex is with someone new. I think that the problem is that she has moved on but you have not yet - believe me, if you met someone else, your ex would be a distant memory! That is how it works. My suggestion is to get out there and start to socialise again, forget about women just concentrate on building up your social group and having fun. Don't torture yourself, you don't know what's really going on in their relationship and the reality is probably no how you imagine it to be. Also, remember the reasons why you split, think of some of her faults - she must have some and this will help to give your old relationship some reality and balance. Enjoy your freedom. When you have a bad thought, quickly change it to something positive. You haven't failed, most of us will have two or three serious relationships that fail during our lives, some we are glad to get out of and some we are not. It always hurts when a relationship ends and it was not what you wanted but you can move on.
2007-08-30 06:30:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe it time to start looking for someone else to replace her. The best way to get her out of your mind is to find things that make you happy. Get your self an elastic band put it on your wrist. Every time you think of her snap it hard. It's a little trick to help erase her from your mind.
Every time you think of her think of how bad she hurt you. Anyone that did that to you once would do that to you twice. Do you want to go through this feeling of hurt all over again?? Was she so great that she would be worth this pain again??
2007-08-30 06:45:03 · answer #5 · answered by wondermom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your just a loving person with a lot of love to give..... but you have to accept that shes gone.
Move on. Find someone else and shell be a faded memory in your past.
It seems hard to imagine right now but trust me time heals everything.
Also slow down and look at your life.. look at the way you act and ask why you act that way then look at other people and do the same. Try to get a bigger picture of life.
But the first step is to get rid of anything that reminds you of her. and then get out and have a good time. go out with friends, go play sports. just fill your life with something so that sadness doesnt fit in it... then in time youll find someone else .
2007-08-30 06:54:06 · answer #6 · answered by Al V 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i was slightly different. I was just sick of life the way i was leading it. Hated every day. My solution was to save enough money for a plane ticket and live overseas for 2 years. It was the best time of my life, forgot all my troubles. Came back after 2 years, met a lady 6 months later. Now im married, buying our house together and loving life.
Make the change.
2007-08-30 06:30:49 · answer #7 · answered by james t 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sleep with someone else. Do not pine for her. There are over 3 billion girls in the world, don't give this one another thought, It just isn't going to happen. Six months is long enough for grieving over a relationship, time to move on mate.
2007-08-30 06:30:28 · answer #8 · answered by ross x 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
firstly her play your song together is not a nice thing to do, and i,m sure gives you mixed feelings. if that happens again i would kindly ask her not to do that again if the song does not mean what it still means to you.
give it a little bit of time to work out what you really want and need in relationship, discovering this might help you get over this girl.
cheers
and good luck
2007-08-30 06:34:36 · answer #9 · answered by maisyn3m ♥ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Things like this, happen once and a while. It is because you still love her. it sounds, as if she knows this, and wants to keep you on hold. that is the reason for the song. but for some reason she feels as if this relation ship with your friends may not last. or it could be she also still loves you, but wants him also.
I have been in things similar to yours, and it can drive a person crazy. since she knows you are waiting for her, she feels as if she has you to fall back on, if things do not work out for her. as if you are her insurance.
to get threw this, and over her. the best thing to do is find another to share your love with. if you find another female, your mind will then be on her and not your x, sure you will think of her, that is only natural. but as you, spend more and more time with this other female. the pain will slowly, fade away. then you will find yourself happy again, but with someone else, that may never leave you.
I know how the pain, can be. but that is life. all you can do is keep going, and try to put this behind you. but I do think, soon as your x, understands what you are doing. she,will start to show up, but this is to try and guide you away from moving on.
you must be strong, stand your ground and tell her. sorry' but you ended it. so to go away and leave you alone. this will be hard to do, because you still love her. but do not fall for this. if you do, she will go right back to him, and you will be right back, where you are now. as I said, she just wants, you to fall back on. she may even lie, to keep you there, also. so please do not fall for this.
Make your on life now, move on. if need be,move to another town to get away from her, if you need too. but get away, from spending the rest of your life in worry, and pain. for she will just lead you on. change your phone number, make it as unlisted. if not, she will call you. and this will just make things hard for you. that is the reason, for the song. to keep a hold on you.
do not let this get to you. remember, if she did still love you as much as she did, she would have came back to you, not torment you in such a way. to miss lead you.
So' please, get away from her. start your new life. this is what it will have to be, if you want to be happy. stop all ties with her. you will see, that you will be glad you did, later.
I feel for you,
take care
remember, this pain, will fade away, but it will take time. so it is best, to try and not think of her. if you can.
2007-08-30 09:05:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
What part of this story do you not understand? She doesn't want to have anything to do with you, and you obsession is very unhealthy. From your own account, you exhibit behaviours that could lead you to be thought of as a stalker. If anything happens to that woman, all of your obsessive questions are now documented and you will be thought of as a party on interest if any harm should come to her. You are setting yourself up for a lot more trouble than you realise. Drop these thoughts and find another way to occupy your time. Hang with your friends and get over this before you get yourself into trouble.
2007-08-30 20:04:13 · answer #11 · answered by Hot Coco Puff 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋