I am 36 years old and my wife is 34. She is house wife. She is not interested in having sex most of the time. We go for it sometimes once in a month. Many times I have to force her for sex. At that I feel that as if I am doing rape of my wife. I am sure she is not attracted to someone else. Many times I had a clear discussion with her. She says that she does not have urge for sex. She is not ready to consult doctor as well.
What should I do?
Does anyone else has also experienced this rape feeling when your partner is not interested in sex?
2007-08-29 21:14:39 · 27 answers · asked by dumbhead 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Forcing someone, including your wife, against her will IS rape.
I know it has to be hard for you to have a greater sex drive than she does. Your forcing her, maybe the very thing that is pushing her away, and making her resent you, and even possibly dislike you for doing so! The way to get a woman in the mood(for all you misinformed guys who think women are like your PORN QUEENS who want to be dominated, humiliated, and treated like a skank) If you treat her like a friend, talk with her regularly, share your heart with her, say romantic things to her, compliment her often... really enjoy her for HER, and not objectify her because of your raging hormones wanting sex all the time.... you will totally win her heart, and she will crave intimacy with you! She will be all over you like a "biatch in heat" !
2007-08-29 21:34:41 · answer #1 · answered by deeterluvscj 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
If you mean that you insist so much that she is force to let you so you can get off her back, then mentally yes it feel like some sort of forced sex, unless you tie her down and get it while she is saying STOP and NO and you do it anyways that is some serous rape..don't forget No means NO even if is your wife, but if it's just you persistence and nagging till she say yes, then is not rape, Now why don't you try something else your wife is suffering from low libido low sex drive, I am the same way and I try this product called Zestra is like a cream that produces some feeling in women and if she is willing to try it will help, I try it and I felt the change, now you can buy this at walmart or any pharmacies is around where the condoms and lubricating gels are.. Try that on your wife, and if she continues to have problems she has to go see someone explain to her is not fair for you and that you need her to at least try something.. Sex therapy might help too.. good luck.
2007-08-30 08:09:13 · answer #2 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because it is rape! Just because she is your wife does not give you the right to take what she has not offered.
Your wife must be a willing participant in the act. Do you ever stop to think why she does not want to have sex? Perhaps she does not enjoy it. Maybe you should find a way to seduce her, make her feel good, do something fun and different that you will both enjoy. And sex is not all about intercourse. There are plenty of things you can do to arouse each other with out it.
2007-08-30 04:20:29 · answer #3 · answered by loza500 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Even if she is ok with the forced sex, it is obviously not ok for you if you feel wrong in doing so. It's not rape if she consents, so depending on how much you have to force her, it could be rape.
If she has little urge for sex, nor any urge to make changes, there's little that can be done on her end. Given her lack of drive she may consent to you having sexual partners outside of your relationship, or considering such a thing may change her position on not wanting to find a way to increase her drive. Try to find some comprimise that makes you both happy.
The best thing to do would be to find a counsellor, either for yourself or both of you as a couple. A counsellor should be able to guide you to new ideas that may help resolve the issue, or assist in communication between you and your wife to find a solution.
Also, do your best to distract yourself when she's not interested, rather than forcing yourself upon her. Doing so may be one of the reasons she's so put off sex; waiting for her to be ready, making it a more pleasant experience, will make her more likely to want to have sex in future.
2007-08-30 05:03:13 · answer #4 · answered by Dan 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Rape by definition is an act of violence toward an individual. In terms of coercing someone into having sex, no means no. If forcing means you are actually using physical force to take sex, then I hope she has you arrested.
Remember this, in jail you will be forced to have sex. Let's see how you feel when some big dude sticks his penis in your butt. That same feeling you will feel when he or they are finished is the same one she has when being raped by you.
And you had the audacity to ask the world?
2007-08-30 06:48:05 · answer #5 · answered by shawnLacey 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't want sex and you force her then yes that is rape. Ask her why she says no. If you are raping her then that may be one reason I would think. If I forced my wife to have sex with me then I'm sure she would not want any for a long time.
2007-08-30 05:02:10 · answer #6 · answered by darth72au 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like either she needs to go to the doctor for some medication to increase her desire, or you both need to go to marriage counseling. At thirty six, she should be almost reaching the sexual peak of her life. Have you tried being more affectionate and loving before trying to get her to have sex. Woman need to feel appreciated, loved, and emotional happy before we can feel stimulation. It is not all about touch or looking at something to us. Maybe you could get a book on improving your lovemaking skills too.
BTW, forcing your wife to have sex against her will is rape.
2007-08-30 04:24:21 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes that is rape if she says no then it means no, no matter if she your wife it is still rape. You are hurting your wife by forcing yourself on to her, and if you continue you will push her further away until she divorces you.
2007-08-30 08:29:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes it is sort of classed as rape unless she changes during and starts to enjoy it,then its just classed as persuasion.
if your wifes libido has gone you need to get her to address the problem,maybe at the doctors because at 34 she is at her sexual prime.there is no way that i could go a whole month without,2 days max.
tell her for the sake of your marriage then she needs to go to the doctors or you may feel inclined to cheat on her one day.tell her that she is making you feel unattractive and deeply hurt by permanently rejecting you and that you feel that you are not fulfilling your marriage fully,sex is one of the commitments that we make to each other in our vows and if she is refusing then she is making you unhappy.
depression is a main source of loss of libido,if she is depressed then she wont even realise that there is a problem but you need to talk to her again and explain that by rejecting you,she is making you feel that asking for sex is a dirty and unpleasant thing,and that you are not just a man obsessed with sex,all men are the same.
2007-08-30 04:30:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
be careful about what your doing, rape is rape no matter if you married or not.
that being said my guess is she has a hormone in balance, shes alittle young to be going though the change of life unless shes had surgery on her female organs. if this is the case she needs hormone replacement.
if that is not the case look at wal-mart,rite aid etc in the vitamins sections there are things there to help naturally with sex drive.
2007-08-30 04:25:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋