my marriage is in trouble. Husband angry my priority on my parents over him . What should I do to save this?

Question

i really don't know how to save my marriage which will b soon end up divorce. My husband very angry at me and wanted to divorce me bcos i put my 1st priority over my family instead of him.

what have i done wrong can anybody tell me? He said he never ask me to choose between him n my family but i already make my choice which is my family. I really don't know myself n how to save this marriage. We really love each other very much but it seems like i'm the one who's going to destroy it. He even ask me to marry my family instead.I really love all of them but i just cannot change / shift my priority eventhough i wanted too. he said he gave me alot of chance but i never change.

Can anyone tell me what is my problem n what i have done wrong?
do you have this kind of problem also n how do you solve it?

is it true that i really going to divorce soon, haiz...

isst true as what he said i shouldn't even get married n don't know how to become people's wife.

please teach me

Answer 1

After you get married, it is as if you are already turned-over by your parents to your husband, he and your children will now be a family also and it is where your priority should be second would be your parents and your siblings. I guess your husband is right when you said that he would not let you make a choice between him and your parents but remember your tied already and that makes you a provider for him and your children. There are situation in which you have to prioritize your parents before him but not all the time, he may understand it if it is only once in a while in which you think they really needed your help. So better, change your attitude, make your husband your first priority and your parents the second. Try to distant your self from your family and be closer to your husband if you think that they are not in dire need of you. As you said you love your husband and he loves you, sometimes it would be difficult to find someon like him or worst can never found someone as great as your husband.

Answer 2

Why would he say anything like that? That sounds selfish to me. You as a married couple should love the family together. There is give in take in a marriage. You should sit down and talk about what can be worked out. If not well the inevitable must take place. Maybe you need some time away from each other to let things settle down for the time being. Sometimes being away from each other for a while simmer down the tension you guys are going through. I'm not a therapist or psychiatrist but i just want to give you some advice and hope this may help.
On the other hand if your choosing your parents and siblings over him then maybe you don't belong being married to him in the first place. If you really love him then you should try to work it out and understand that he is your husband and he probably needs you very much in his life and maybe you should understand what he feels. Well Goodluk!!

Answer 3

When you marry a man, who are in making the choice to build your life with him. If you did not want to commit your whole self to him and the new family you two have become, maybe you were not really ready to be a wife. Unless your family is sick and you are the only person there to care for them, you need to change your priority to him and place them after him. Especially if he is a good man because those are hard to find. You should make your family understand this.

Place your husband first. This does not mean abandon your parents. You can still do what you want with your other family but you must realize your first family now is the one you chose to create with your husband when you agreed to marriage.

Answer 4

What would you do if the tables were turned? How would you feel if he put his family first? You need to show him some respect and be there for him. I love my family too, but I am married and have a child. They are my first priority. It is different if your mother becomes ill. You should be there for her then, but from what you are saying, you are never there for your husband. If you don't want to lose him, you need to change this. Cook him a nice dinner and light some candles. If you don't know how to cook, order some pizza or something. Make it a date night at home. You could also watch a movie together. Just make him feel special and loved. I'm not saying you have to cook a special dinner every night, but you need to be there for your husband. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Your husband is your family. If you are choosing your extended family over your husband, you are wrong. When you chose to marry your husband, you made a decision to start a new family. Your extended family deserves your love and attention, but your husband comes first.

You should have stayed with your family and not gotten married if your husband was not going to be first in your life. Boyfriends don't come b4 family. Husbands do.

Answer 6

One of the most common questions spouses ask when confronting a marriage crisis is this: How can I save my marriage if my partner doesn't want to help find a solution? How do I succeed I am trying to save my marriage on my own? Learn here https://bitly.im/aMml1 It is a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains 'in love', the other is uncertain. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving his or her marriage' alone.

Answer 7

Everybody has there different outlooks in life, but I for example once I get married my wife is & children will b #1. Then your parents and siblings. Everyone has there own perspective, but I think ur husband should be #1.

Answer 8

Sit your husband down. Calmly explain to him that you love your family AND him. Tell him that if he left you you would be devestated, explain to him that it's not like you want to marry your family but you care about them anyway.
Then ask your husband in ways that you can make him feel more speacial. If he wants more time with you schedule more time. Make sure he fully understands that you have his interests AND your families interests at heart.

Answer 9

The first thing is, you havent said what the problem really is...what i got from your question is that you like your family and your husband doesnt...and he says: either choose family or me? but you also love your husband and now your confused... so if what i think of this is right, let me know.

Answer 10

You obviously are from a different culture than American. You should stay within your own culture because no man I know would want to be 2nd best to my family. I know I wouldn't want him to make me 2nd. If that is your culture, stay within it. If you are just being mean to your husband because you don't love him enough,, then let him divorce you so he can find someone who will love him enough.