Should we expect or not expect someone to love us? Is it selfish to say that we deserve love? Furthermore, does anyone deserve to be loved?
Why should someone love you?
2007-08-29 17:29:00 · 20 answers · asked by Reflected Life 5 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
When I say love I don't mean unconditional love.
I'm talking about conditional love. -Where someone picks you and you pick them.
2007-08-29 17:34:35 · update #1
Anything that we believe we deserve is setting ourselves up for a lot of misery. No one should love us. That is a cultural myth. Feelings of affection (love) come and go. Enjoy it when it is present and don't fret when it is gone. it is just a feeling that someone else has for us at a particular moment in time.
Feeling unloved and unwanted causes people to be very needy and have unhappy relationships.
2007-08-29 18:03:46 · answer #1 · answered by guru 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on who you're talking about. A wife deserves love from her husband. A child deserves love from his parents. Nobody deserves love from strangers. That is not to say that they should not give that love anyway, only that we don't deserve it.
Why should anyone love me? Because the more love that is shared and expressed into the world, the better everyone's life will be. If nobody loves me, yet I love everyone else, my life will still be better for the love that I have given, because the world in general will be more pleasant, more hospitable.
There are rewards for love beyond the immediate or tangible, but those rewards are an article of faith. I can't make an argument for them.
-yk
2007-08-30 00:38:52 · answer #2 · answered by Yaakov 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Love is not a right. We can expect anything. Getting it is another thing altogether. "Expectations" in general have a way of causing things to go awry somehow. It's like our arrogance becomes the magnetic opposite of what we want. Love found me AFTER I had completely given up. Do I deserve her love? Does she deserve mine? That would be like putting a price tag on it, when it is priceless!
Your definition of "conditional love" is interesting.
"I'm talking about conditional love. -Where someone picks you and you pick them".
Never thought of it that way.
2007-08-30 00:48:21 · answer #3 · answered by phil8656 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there is no such thing as "deserving" to be loved IN GENERAL, simply because love is personal, it is one on one. When a person falls in love with someone or comes to love them, it is because their characters, personalities souls etc. "fit together". In that context each of them deserves to be loved by the other because the character of each one makes it appropriate. Can you find some one that "fits" you? Probably, so that means that you "deserve" to be loved.
And also God is love so, in that respect you also do.
2007-08-30 02:07:55 · answer #4 · answered by stark z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would first ask, how do you define love?
I am currently reading "all about love", by Bell Hooks, where she defines a love ethic which utilizes all the dimensions of love--"care, commitment, trust, responsibility, respect, and knowledge".
Should someone love me? Yes. It should start with self-love.
So often self-love is thought of as "selfish", but how can I impart love on others if I am not taken care of?
I deserve Love.
I deserve to be Loved.
why should someone love me?
" When we choose to love we choose to move against fear---against alienation and separation. The choice to love is a choice to connect--to find ourselves in the other." bell hooks.
2007-08-30 18:25:09 · answer #5 · answered by anti-imperialistzombie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's a natural desire that every human being has. And desire is nowhere near selfishness. Deserving to be loved is a feeling that someone would get when they have the desire to be loved.
2007-08-30 00:34:39 · answer #6 · answered by lady_ellie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
we should not expect someone to love us...its not necessarily selfish to think we deserve love, because who doesnt?...whether or not you actually deserve love is a totally different story...someone should love you because they like spending time with you and not knowing how you could spend the rest of your life without them =}
2007-08-30 00:40:02 · answer #7 · answered by Becka 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. As a matter of fact, i'm not in love with anyone and don't plan on it. I suppose that notion can be construed to be selfish, yes.
I have no idea why someone would. I'm not special, famous, talented, rich, or successful. Perhaps i lack a certain masculine charm women typically fall for.
2007-08-30 00:37:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nobody should have to do anything they don't want to do. If they want to love me, I think that's really nice and I most likely love them in return.
I do not think that it is selfish to desire love. We are only human...don't we all wish someone loved us? But it might be a little selfish to demand it and say that we deserve it.
Someone should only love me if he or she chooses to, and not if I somehow forced him or her.
2007-08-30 00:45:55 · answer #9 · answered by xREDrawr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look at a dog when you pet it. they are pure on reactions and feelings, right. loving bonding gives that heavenly, secured relaxation.
we crave it a lot because no man wishes to live all by himself in this world. you want to feel appreciated for what you are without any bias.
if you don't give sunshine and water to a plant, it will die.
it's more worthed to live a life 'giving and shared' than having all to him/herself anyways
with love, sex is more arousing... well except some guys thats not all important, it seems.
w/o love, you don't have what you got right now.
2007-08-30 00:37:47 · answer #10 · answered by h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋