My dearest cousin lost her little boy last year to a heart defect when he was only a few months old. His first birthday is coming up very soon and I'd like any ideas on what I can do to help her get thru such a difficult day. We live states apart, so I cannot be with her, but any ideas on how to show her he is not forgotten would be helpful.
2007-08-29 17:13:56 · 11 answers · asked by sleepycatz1972 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
to Linda D: you most certainly CAN celebrate a deceased person's birthday - it was one of the happiest days of her life and why wouldn't we rejoice the day that he was born to this earth, even if he was only able to grace us for a brief time? if i had said we'd be having a party or celebrating he day of his death, i could understand your answer, but his birthday? damn right that wonderful little boy deserves to have people celebrate it.
2007-08-29 18:53:21 · update #1
Maybe you could contact a park in her area and have a tree planted in his name? It's going to be a hard day and it will be nice for her to know you are thinking of her and remembering her son. A nice arrangement of fall flowers might be nice, too. No matter how big or small the gesture... it will mean alot to her.
God bless.
2007-08-29 17:23:52 · answer #1 · answered by 17_peppers 3 · 7⤊ 0⤋
When I lost my son just having people call and talk to me helped. Most people would try and avoid the subject of my sons birthday but believe it or not it made me feel good to know that they remembered him too.
He has been gone 6 years and that pain is something that never goes away. I feel for your friend and I know a card, phone call, or flowers would make her feel good.
You might also want to tell her about this sight, groww.com, it is a grief sight where people go in and just chat, it helped me through many long nights when i couldnt sleep.
2007-08-30 00:27:59 · answer #2 · answered by mamaac43 3 · 9⤊ 0⤋
I love the tree idea someone mentioned above. When my friend lost her baby, every year on the day he passed, my friend would take a helium balloon out to the site and write him a message on it and then let it go up to him. It made her as well as me and her family feel better when we did this. We felt as though we were communicating. Maybe you could arrange this with family in her area if it is something she would be interested in.
2007-08-30 00:29:59 · answer #3 · answered by Chelsea ツ 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I lost a daughter at 2 months so when time comes around for it to be her would have been birthday I find a lake and throw a rose in for her memory and talk to her. Time heals but you won't forget.
2007-08-30 02:38:56 · answer #4 · answered by octavia31 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Every year on my cousins birthday, we send up balloons, one for every year he would have been. You might send her flowers or a tree to plant, with 1 balloon to let her give it to her son. Call her and let her know that you remembered his birthday, and let her pour her heart out to you. Good luck.
Gosh linda a little harsh....
2007-08-30 02:40:37 · answer #5 · answered by Boredoutofmymind 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
send her flowers. You don't have to mention the baby in the card, she will know why you sent them. Just say "thinking of you today, love etc." She will be sad, but thats normal. Let her call and pour our her heart to you if she needs to, and just listen, don't give advice, don't tell her how to feel or what to do. Just say you are here for her.
2007-08-30 00:22:39 · answer #6 · answered by parental unit 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Send flowers to your cousine scheduled first thing in the morning. so that she may bring it along to the cemetery. if possible try to slip in a note for your deceased nephew so that she may read it to him.
2007-08-30 00:25:07 · answer #7 · answered by jace 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
send your friend flowers and then call her...and let her do the talking about anything... crying or whatever helps. Ignoring this won't make the pain go away...good luck...
2007-08-30 00:22:41 · answer #8 · answered by Me, myself and I 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
donate in his memory to a cause she might be interested in? like a children's fund maybe?
2007-08-30 00:24:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
You don't celebrate a deceased person's birthday!!!!!
You remember them - but you do NOT celebrate!!!
2007-08-30 01:36:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 7⤋