Why the hell is that the default ruling? What is the logic behind it? Every other weekend ain't ****. We should have 50/50 custody off the bat. Women need to stop being so selfish and accept the fact that children need their dads just as much as their moms.
2007-08-29 16:46:44 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Um, Joe - I hate to be the one to break this to you, but you DO have 50/50 custody to start out with (unless you aren't married to the mom,then the laws are screwy) marriage gives you that. You have equal rights to you child going into a divorce...
Here's the thing - when a divorce is filed, especially when it is the wife filing first, of course she is going to file for the advantage in custody, just like she would as far as property. It's like any shrewd business negotation, start asking for the advantage, have room to bargain down...
the thing is, and something I stress to the male clients I have, there is NOTHING assumed going into court. Every other weekend is NOT a default ruling...it is a default written motion...there is a difference.
Every father, or should I say non-custodial, has the right to say NO to EOW...the kicker is - far too many DON'T fight for more. It's assumptions like the one you are making in this question, that cause the biggest problem, and the illusion the court is unfair.
So don't blame women here - or call them selfish - some of the males, just don't fight for what they can get...get on your men to fight for what they want...
2007-08-29 17:44:39 · answer #1 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
look..here's the theory and why that was set up. 5 days a week, the mother took care of the child's meals, school activities, afterschool activities, and all the little extra details in a child's education. the weekend is down time. why does the mother not get any downtime???? she wants to have fun with her kids too!! it's not fair that dad doesn't have to deal with homework and discipline. he gets to be the happy hero. and because most men end up paying child support they don't have income enough to provide a full second home for the child to accomodate a 50/50 lifestyle. one week with mom/one week with dad type of thing. now if both parents lived in the same school district, had the same about of room for a full time child....then yes a 50/50 living arrangement would be perfect. but how often is that the case? how about weeknight visitation?
when i was a non custodial parent for one year....i drove everyday to pick up my kids after school and then back again at bedtime. wasn't fair to the custodial dad as far as he was concerned. but the judge's concern was getting both children some consistency.
now that i have my full physical custody of my kids....he gets every other weekend and one 3 hour evening with his kids. once the kids get school started and are better at their homework....maybe that time should increase. but until then, they need a more set schedule.
2007-08-30 01:44:18 · answer #2 · answered by Isabella S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How is this a default ruling? I always though joint custody was the rule unless the father was abusive or an alcoholic. Then they don't get to see their kids unless they go to AA and anger management classes.
There is no 'default ruling' that's only a myth. Cheer up, she wants you to take the kids on the weekend so she can spend time alone with her new man!
2007-08-30 00:01:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you 100% I am a divorced mother of three, I took care of my kids 24/7 and my ex husband was never around to help out or spend time with our boys, When we got divorced I told him that the kids should spend more time with him to get to know their dad more, Well he has them I don't, I get them every other weekend, Most of the time, There are some holidays that I don't get them and so it messes up the schedual and it is longer between visits, I love my kids very much and I miss them like crazy. But they are getting to know their father and that is very important. I know you want more time with your kids. Can you talk to your ex and maybe it can be changed so that you have them for a week and then she gets them for a week? It all depends on you two getting along. But work on it and it will be just fine. Good luck.
2007-08-29 23:59:17 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You could try getting joint custody. Are you able to take them to their home schools and pick them up. They can't go to one school one week and another the next week. I know someone that shares custody every other week. It's not about being selfish I think it's just hard when most men work and can't take the kids to and from school. Look into it.
2007-08-29 23:57:06 · answer #5 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am sooo with you on this. Crap to all the women who think the kids belong to her. Crap to all the courts that think the mom should be the primary care taker.
This maybe made sense before DNA testing and you couldn't be sure who the daddy was, but not now.
2007-08-30 00:05:31 · answer #6 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree ! I pay half of my daughters care & get only 2 weekends a month. It kills me, not spending more time with her. I don't understand it but, most men get the **** end of the stick when it comes to our kids.
2007-08-30 00:17:57 · answer #7 · answered by eric D 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You suck you gave everyone a thumbs down.
2007-08-30 00:35:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree
2007-08-29 23:55:42 · answer #9 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it's a sign of the times dude. and it will only get worse. mans world my butt.
2007-08-29 23:53:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋