lot of stress because i didnt work for a while, so he is working very long, long long hours, to pay all the bills..finally i found a job,and for almost 2 months he doesnt kiss me or hug me not even mentioned making love to me..i am very hurt by that..what should i do..he is saying that he is not very passionate now
2007-08-29 16:10:09 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
coming from a man, it's not easy when the burdens of family are more than what he makes. Talk to him, women forget that 9 times out of 10 stuff happens because people don't talk. And when there is conversation, it's all up in each others faces, "you don't clean the dishes, you didn't clean the basement."
Remember it's about "us," how both of you can make it better. If he's feeling a cold right now, don't do the same, feed him love, and show him that even though you guys are struggling at the moment, your by his side, fighting the same fight. These are times when men want to know we married a woman, not a girl.
2007-08-29 16:17:40 · answer #1 · answered by vagvpwebmasta 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He was under a lot of stress and was over worked. He was probably resenting the fact that you weren't working and he had all of the pressure put on him. Now that you are back to work and he won't have so much stress, he'll get back to normal. It'll take time though, especially if your money problems aren't yet under control.. Try not to take it personally. Different people react to stress in different ways. He's probably the type of person that deals with stress by secluding himself from those around him and being alone.
2007-08-29 16:18:03 · answer #2 · answered by ~*Bella*~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stress ruins everything and money issues are about the worst. Put up pictures all over the house of him as a baby and child and yours too and also of when you dated and such. This is for real, and when you see these over and over it will stimulate your mind to remember the happy times and a wonderful older lady, Granni, told me "this too shall pass whether it be good or bad" Life will always have mountains and valleys and some are very steep but hang in there and take time for yourselves don't try to force the issue. make yourself happy by doing things you like and that joy will re-attract him. eventually. Being the bread winner is hard, I was an elem single parent teacher the whole time my kids were ages 6 and 8 and up. Breadwinners need big pats on the back and rarely get them.show appreication treat him like a puppy who has done something right, remember and tell him about all the good things he has done, men love their egos boosted and this is not meant as a slam but a fact.
2007-08-29 16:16:20 · answer #3 · answered by I Love Jesus 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Money is the number one thing couples fight about. You seem to be getting things back on track, but things are still pretty tight. Things will get better!!
Try not to feel hurt or nag, that will push him away. Instead, throw in some no-strings-attached romance. Make his favorite dinner, hide love notes in his lunch box or his sock drawer, go for a picnic on the weekend... whatever he likes. Take the pressure off him to get his passion back, and make it your task. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
2007-08-29 16:24:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone is totally stressed out they aren't feeling very sexy. I'm sure when things get back to normal so will he. Show him some compassion tell him you appreciate the fact that he is trying so hard and you love him for that. In other words stroke his ego a little and maybe that will help him be less stressed out...... then maybe he will actually seduce you.
2007-08-29 16:21:46 · answer #5 · answered by ♥♥♥MiSSY♥♥♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stress does these things to people! So its not you, I would imagine he just feels he has a lot on his plate, maybe that he has even let you down (even though he may not have).
One night, cook him a delicious dinner and dessert (that way you dont have to worry about spending money on going out for dinner) and maybe try and start again and forget the last few months. Good Luck! :-)
2007-08-29 16:20:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is wrong with you? the man is tired and stressed from working long long hours and worrying about paying the bills. He is worn out and you expect passion? Wake up and see the real world and stop complaining. You finally got a job, well goody goody for you nice to see you want to help the guy out and not work him into an early grave. Grow up Princess, life is hard work and passion takes a back seat to practicallity.
2007-08-29 16:16:20 · answer #7 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
maybe you have to sit down together and discuss about it...he might be under a lot of stress, you have to understand that when men are stress they tend to withdraw and uncaring. communication is the key, ask him why he's acting up that way and if there's anything you can be of help. I hope you will be able to resolve your issues.
2007-08-29 16:22:12 · answer #8 · answered by natazhar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is doing hos best , he feels ashamed about being out of work and you give him grief when he trying so so so hard?
how do you meet his needs? do you even know what his needs are?
have you put any effort into being a good wife , partner and friend or all you do is demand and point out how he failed?
why would he make love to you?
if you want to save your marriage read surrendered wives, become a real woman and submit to your husband, or leave
its simple
2007-08-29 16:20:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stress reducing sexual desire significantly. Talk to him and reassure him and ensure he knows you love and appreciate the fact that he is sacrificing for the 2 of you. Make a plan for perhaps restructuring your debt so that it isn't all on your back at once...good luck
2007-08-29 16:18:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋