How do I change my way of speech to sound more heterosexual?

Question

So, I hate the way my voice sounds. It's not the quality, it's just the way I speak. Somethings I try and pick up on but I need your help on what off sets men as sounding effeminate and ultimately, gay and what I can do to change this. Basically, what makes a guy sound gay vs straight?

Ok, to clairify, I am asking for what makes a person sound gay vs straight. Honestly, you cannot tell me there is not a difference. You cannot tell me that the way a person talks affects how you perceive them. This is not one of those, "I feel like people are labeling me as gay help me out of this!" I, myself, dislike my speech patterns and would like to change them. Much the way some people hate the way they write but other people love it.

Answer 1

you don't 'sound' gay or straight, you just are
i don't really understand what you are exactly asking...

Answer 2

It's not only the speech, but the mannerisms and body language that differentiates gays from straight men. I guess the best way to sound and act less effeminate is to observe straight men and watch the way they walk, talk, and in general conduct themselves. And then pick up on the cues. Also, be careful what you talk about. Stick to sports, politics, and other "safe" subjects, such as women. These are what macho men usually discuss. If you are gay and want to attract gay men, why do you want to act straight? If you're straight and often mistaken for gay, then hang out with the girls and flirt with them.

Answer 3

Well, the stereotype of gay men is a high voice with lisping. So lower your voice and quit the lisping if that is what you want to hide. Sterotypically straight men have low voices and sound in control. I know someone gay as it gets who has a low voice and no "gay" mannerisms. Girls like him and then get disappointed when he doesn't respond back. I really would just go with yourself and be yourself. It's hard for someone to go around faking all the time. If people can't accept you as you are, it's their problem, not yours.

Answer 4

Common gay vocal traits are being nasally and having a lisp. Your S's are probably too sharp and you're not using your diaphram.
Kathleen Turner wanted to develop a deep sexy voice when she was young and this is how she did it. She broke off the erasers from a couple pencils and put them between her upper molars and her cheeks. That way, whenever she spoke, she had to pay attention. Try it. The erasers will constantly remind you that you need to not make your S's so crisp, (put a lil sh on them) and to speak from your gut, not from your nose. With any luck you'll soon be sounding like a truck driving chain smoker, just like Kathy. ;)

Answer 5

I understand where you're coming from. My experience was reversed. When I first came out, I was just a dude. Then, I started acting queeny, raising my voice, moving my hands about and putting on an affectation that wasn't natural.

It took about 6 months of this before I chilled out and toned things down and eventually got back to my 'regular' self.

I thought having a higher voice and rolling my eyes etc... were expected of me because I was gay.

Anyways, what you can do is practise in front of a mirror... how you walk, how you gesticulate, how you move your hands, etc... then you can actually practise lowering your voice. Watch how your mouth moves, your eyes, eyebrows etc...

You can watch how masculine men speak/move and emulate them.

Having said all this... if this is your natural being, then just accept yourself.

Answer 6

If you sound intellectual and use anything but mono-syllabic words, people automatically suspect you are gay, especially if you impart anything but very basic concepts when you speak. Try to use small words and keep quiet unless you are talking about sports or sex. Also try to be crude and use vulgarities whenever possible. Nobody will even think it's possible you're gay if you do these things.

Answer 7

At the risk of sounding prejudiced, when men say "like" and extend their vowels, I think they sound effeminate. A lot of it is in their body language also. The way they sit and hand gestures.

Answer 8

not to stereo type anyone but generally i see alot of gay men speak more freely. but first there's all kinds of gay men "types" like for instance there's Wills and theirs Jacks.
Jacks talk just about any way they wont freely and openly about hair, makeup, sex, w/e
Wills usually have a more masuclan voice and still talk about them but compared to Jack's they seem slightly mono-tone...

so depending on which you'd say you sound like more.... then thats how you start to solve your "problem"
but guys talk in all different ways there is no "set way" to talk... just be yourself. if your truely unhappy try speach therapy or just take your speach one word at a time then one sentace at a time and sooner or later....speach by speach.

good luck.

Answer 9

First of all, don't try to change your voice. You'll just sound phony.

Secondly, if you do, I guess you should watch a whole bunch of John Wayne movies.

Start practicing now: Howdy Pilgrim...

Answer 10

i've noticed that sometimes gay guys talk in a higher pitch, or just seem more excited - sometimes it's a little valley girl-ish or say things that girls may say when describing looks ...also hand gestures sometimes give off a gay vibe when used in an unusual way.

Answer 11

This isn't a sarcastic answer at all, although it may seem like it.
...............but if you talk with you hands, put them in your pockets.
That's always my first observation as a hetero. I know that isn't really what you are asking, it's really just my own observation, as far as what you are asking....... I'd have to go with; don't make high pitch' squealy type noises when speaking excitedly.