My husband is emotionally abusive and explodes in front of our 3 year old.?

Question

I've been married for 7 years and my husband is increasingly getting worse. He is 12 years older than me and I never thought that would be an issue, but now, it seems that all he does is either explode in front of our three year old, call me a f'n ***** and other choice names, even in front of our son, threatens to leave or kick me out every other day and is simply evil and full of hate. When he is not doing that, he is sitting in front of the tv and doesn't even play with our son. He has a job and now I've been unemployed because I was laid off and prior to that, I had good jobs. Since I lost my job, it seems that he thrives on being horrible to me and makes me feel like I'm at a dead end. He tells me that I'm worthless and that I'm a horrible mother, which I am not. I am very loving and care about more son more than anything. I just can't take the verbal and emotional abuse anymore. We've been in and out of marriage counseling throughout all our marriage. Should I get out??

Answer 1

You already know the answer. It's time to leave before his violent mouth turns into violent fists. Do it to protect you and do it to protect your son. Go someplace safe and don't let him know where you are until he has a chance to calm down a bit. Go as soon as you can manage it.

Answer 2

Honestly, are you sure it was just a "normal spanking"? I don't think a light spank on the butt to snap a hysterical child out of it is abuse, but if your son doesn't even want to be touched by his father long after the incident, that does concern me, because that really isn't a normal reaction to a normal spanking. Especially a 3 year old, most kids that age would forget about the incident after a few minutes and be fine. A toddler would have to be pretty traumatized to cry every time somebody tries to touch them. You need to seriously talk to your husband and find out what really happened. It could be that he lost his temper and took it a little too far (which is why you NEVER spank a child when you're angry).

Answer 3

Wow. Sounds like my father

This man has obvious issues. and for people to say, "DUMP HIM" just isnt enough. It's never that easy to just walk away, even if you and your son will be better off. Try talking to him, and telling him how you feel, how you have given up everything to be with him and this is what the ending results in. If he continues to freak out, look at the road ahead. You can spend the rest f your lives in this emotional mess, or you can jump out, although it will be extremely difficult, and go on with our life, being the woman you are, getting the career you deserve and bettering your sons life. Dont let him tell you that you're a bad mom, when if it wasn;t for you, the kid would probably be nowhere.

Answer 4

My husband is older to an they think you don't know anything and they know it all but let me tell you something you don't have to go through that there's a wrong and a right way to love somebody and if you are not getting treated like the princess you are then leave get a job and get on your feet you are not alone and you are not worthless ask yourself this when my son look at me what do i want him to see what ever your answer is let it be motivation for you I believe in you

Answer 5

You need to wake up and do what you already know needs to be done.

Get yourself back into counseling and with the help there get you and your child out of that situation.

Being a good mother means taking care of your child and right now this environment is not good for your child.

If you have had good jobs in the past you can get one again. Go give you and your child the life you really deserve.

Answer 6

Let me let you answer that question for your self. How does it feel when he call you out of your name?, If it sounds horrible to you just imagine how it sound to your son. How will it feel when your son start acting like his father.Are you happy, Is he worth keeping , do he make you feel special or even take you out.These are some of the sign of an unhealthy marriage. You don't need advice, You just need to do what you need to do to raise your son so that he can be a better man.You already know what to do just do it and do not go back.

Answer 7

You decided to marry this man and have a child by him was he like this before you married him sometimes we don't pay attention to what we are getting only what we want. He calls you names in front of your child this isn't right because this child will suffer emotional problems. If you have had marriage counseling and he has not change as of yet chances are he will not change. Do what makes you happy and best for your child first.
good luck

Answer 8

You answered your own question. "I just can't take the verbal and emotional abuse anymore." If he's been to counseling with you, and still hasn't improved, what else can you do? You need to look out for the welfare of your child and yourself. What if he attacks your child? I personally put my child before anyone or anything. Good luck. And be careful.

Answer 9

Yes, you don't want your son to be like him when he grows up. He's three, it's not too late. He won't remember when he's older. If you wait another 5 or 6 years he might and repeat the cycle. You don't want that. Another thing, if you continue to hear you're worthless and a bad mother you'll start to believe it. Leave before you do.

Answer 10

In my opinion, you should leave just as soon as you can. No one should have to stay in that abusive relationship. If you are seeking counseling & no results & a child is in the middle of that war, not good for the child emotional state in the long run...Find independence once again & LEAVE....

Answer 11

Sweety, If I may call you that, this man obviously has no respect for you or your son. I beg of you, get out of this marriage and go find yourself a loving, caring and wonderful husband! It will make you and your son happier. I know, I went through this. Good Luck, Ask Shirley's Second Identity ;)