What do you think?

Question

My husband deleted our internet history one night ( I work nights) and the next day I wondered why he did. I asked him if he was looking at porn bc/ my step-dad used to delete his history d/t his porn addiction. So, he said he didn't delete it and that he wasn't looking at porn. Well, that was over a year ago. A couple of weeks ago I asked him if he ever looks at porn and he said yes. So then, I was intrigued bc/ to be honest with you, I thought that he didn't. So I further asked him when the last time he looked at porn was to which he replied (after thinking about it a while) a week and a half ago...I was like, """waaahhh??""" Am I naive or something to think that if he did ever look at porn it would be like once or twice a year. So then I asked him how often he looks at it and he said a couple times a month...oh geez...how have I been with him over 3 years and not even suspected an ounce of that??? Anyways, I'm not even mad. I asked him if he lied about deleting the history

and he said that he DID in fact lie. The reason he stated was that he thought since I had been so angry over my step-dad being addicted to porn, that I would flip out. Well, I'm still not mad, and I don't even know what I'm asking, but I guess I just wanted to tell that story of how wierd it is to me that I just trusted fully that he wouldn't do that. I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I told him I think it's wrong....oy...Still, do I take it too lightly that he goes on the internet sometimes to look or do you think I should want him to quit completely??? Well, I want him to quit completely, but that has to be his choice bc/ I've already decided to not be a ball and chain...Let me know your opinions.

these are interesting answers so far...he is definitely not denying any "us" time for it and I know he's not addicted.

Answer 1

It is wrong for anyone to look at porn, no matter what people say to try to justify it.

As a married man, he shouldn't be looking at the naked bodies of any other person, but his wife's. The bible says let your own wife intoxicate you.

He is cheating when he views porn, it is infidelity.

There's nothing wrong with admitting that it makes you angry and jealous. That is not being a ball and chain that is telling the truth. If he is viewing porn on line he may also be talking to other women and having affairs with them on line. That is happening all over the world right now and ruining countless marriages. Get a web watcher or key logger and you can see every thing he does and says on line. It's your right as his wife to know exactly what he is doing and saying with other women. Don't let him try and blame it on you either. This is his sin.

Answer 2

The only men who don't enjoy looking at naked women are gay. Look sister, it really is no big deal and its not an sign of unfaithfulness or anything like that. It's our nature, no more no less . Many men deny viewing porn to their wives and girlfriends becausee we've been taught that it's " dirty " and that we're just dogs anyway. but that's just not true. What is true is that men are wired to appreciate and find the female body delightful to look at. Any man that tells you different is a liar. Don't let my nature get you all bent out of shape because in the long run; nothing you do , say , or feel will ever change the nature of a man . I for one am very proud of being a man and wouldn't change the way I am for love or money. The poor guy lied to you only because he has let this society make him feel guilty about his nature. You were right not to be angry becaus it ain't' about you.

Answer 3

You don't have the right to tell your husband not to look at pornography because you don't have the right to tell him how, when and what to think about when masturbating. That is his own personal time and as your husband, he is still very much entitled to that. It's unhealthy not to allow him such things.

Since his veiwing of pornography is not adversely effecting your sex life and you are still getting yours and your time with him, don't worry about it. He is not a porn addict. You can be fearful and watch the signs if you like, but don't make it a major concern. He loves you. He's attracted to you and porn? It's just a sex toy. The women in porn are choosing to be there and are not victims and they're acting! Yes, actual penetration is going on, but it's not real sex and if your husband is an intelligent man, he knows this.

We all have fantasies. I'm sure you have some of your own and if not sex toys, at the very least a shower head or bath tub facet. Relax, you have your time and he has his, but you also have your time together.

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with porn it is just something that most people do. Yes MOST even girls. They are less likely to admit it because they are to busy trying to make guys look like the bad ones when in all reallity guys and girls are more closely similar than most think. We all think alike and do alot of the same things it is just that guys dont give a F*** what people think like girls do. So all our business is out on the table and girls business is all hidden in the closet. So for all the ladies who want to stop lying and hiding stuff then it is about time to open the closet and come out. ATM OUT

Answer 5

If your sex life is suffering because of this then yes totally I would want him to stop looking at porn. I think that if my hubby was looking at porn all the time I would feel like I am not as perfect as some of the sluts who are onthere. If he was honest with me I guess it would be more tolerable.
When someone lies by omission it makes me feel left in the cold and wondering what else hasn;t been told to me that I would tell him.

Answer 6

Being an adult and being in an adult relationship means your willing to allow them to be themselves , if he isnt looking at porn and denying you in the bedroom I would leave him do it he could be like my ex husband and come straight home from work log into a cam chat site only to watch the girls touching themselves and then opening a sex story site to read every damn afternoon.My husband prefered to **** before work instead of waking me for sex while he read porn stories and watched girls on cam.Sex is my sleeping pill it left him wide awake so I didnt see why he had problems waking me.

It only become's an issue when it interfere's with your sex life other then that give him this 1 thing to hold onto it wont hurt.

Answer 7

If you BOTH aren't ok with either one viewing porn...then it will cause problems in the marriage. This doesn't mean that you have to accept it if he says "he is going to view porn regardless of how you feel." I think a man or woman should respect their spouse and not view it if either one is bothered by it. If on the other hand, you both are comfortable with porn then view away!

Answer 8

Get over this porn issue.

Why do a lot of women make it such a big deal?

Porn is a part of a man's life, even women....there's nothing wrong about it.

Maybe he needs porn in order to have sex with you coz you might be uptight.

You just answered your own question, you're not paying attention to your husband that's why you have no clue.

Answer 9

It's always a bit shocking to realize that someone has pulled the wool over your eyes--for a long time--and you didn't have a CLUE, isn't it? It makes you realize how much they could actually get away with if they wanted to betray you. It's a good thing he's not that sort of guy, huh?

Answer 10

i think as long as the two of you have a healthy sexual relationship than there is no harm. BUT if he starts chooseing the porn over you then there is definately a problem!