I've decided I'm going to ask her... Any tips?

Question

the "big question". On one knee and the whole bit. It'll be on her 22nd birthday (provided I'm still with her then and she hasn't killed me yet), which is in 2008... But already I feel nervous. Is this natural, even though the question won't come until next year?

Also, is it natural to be thinking to myself, "Dude, she's going to say no... You don't deserve her, man!" and things like that?

And also, anyone have any tips that will make the night special?

I'm going to do it next year so that I'll have been with her for a year and a half (as it stands now, it's only been 5 months, and that's a little too soon).

Can't do wine, since at that time I'll only be 20, and since alcoholism is bad on both sides of my family (I've seen it, it turned my dad crazy...) I don't want to start anything that will hurt her.

Answer 1

It's normal to be nervous. Just be sure this is what 'you' want.
If you weren't nervous, it would probably mean that you didn't care and that would be a bad thing.
Also, don't do it twenty minutes before she has to go somewhere. Make sure you have a planned activity afterward. (a romantic walk, a gab session afterwards with some champagne). Plan to talk about your life together. If you have nothing to talk about, maybe you guys are not ready.

Don't rush this... you have time.

Also... Set a date asap. If you put it off, it will turn into an issue. Even if you set a date 3 years from now, you still have a plan. A date says " I mean business" No date says "We're not really sure".

Good luck and don't let bloggers tell you horror stories. If it's right---go for it. Single people get older and look flawed if they are not committed.

Last, don't do it unless you mean it. You've both got time!

Last, last. Don't skip a honeymoon. Go somewhere special. Romantic, sexy. You'll never regret it if you do. Find the money. Living it up tells her and the world that you know this is the only time you'll ever do this. Builds confidence.

Cheers

Answer 2

Yes, it's normal to have self doubt, just don't let it consume you.

As for your planning to propose. Do make sure you and your girlfriend are talking about marriage together prior to the engagement. It would not be fair to her if you get to think about marriage for a year and then suddenly surprise her with a proposal and the allure of a wedding.

Part of the reason that some researchers believe that the divorce rate is so high is that while men get to spend plenty of time planning a proposal and really thinking about marrying his partner, women get short handed. The proposal is unfair. Not every woman is daydreaming about marriage or even really thinking about it, especially since the prevalence of the princess fairy tale type wedding fantasy is so strong and with modern facts that women don't need men or marriage to survive. Even sensible people can fall into the wedding trap since planning the event can be very stressful and distract from the relationship.

Put the idea in her head. Give her time to really think about it and talk about marriage and future plans together, so when you do propose you two will be ready for marriage and therefore ready to plan a wedding, maybe the 'romance' is a surprise, but the major life decision? It'll be easy!

Answer 3

Its natural to be nervous. Whatever way or whereevver you propose, be sure it is romantic and special,whatever you do. She will remember how and where and when. If you are still together by then, and she loves you as much as you love her. It also would help if you have a job and money in the bank so you can make plans. Take your time , you are still young, and if it's meant to be it'll happen. Good luck I wish you the best.

Answer 4

You're kidding, right?

Don't do it. You have no idea what you're getting into.

The ugly truth is that more than 67% of marriages will end in divorce. 92% of the time it will be initiated by the woman for no other reason than she is “unfulfilled” – oh, and because she gets the kids, the house, at least ½ the assets and most of his future after tax income for the next 18 years. The man will get raked over in family court. He will lose the house. He will see his kids 2 out of 14 days (if the ex doesn't level unsubstantiated "abuse" claims.) He will be forced to hand over 40-50% of his take-home pay. If he loses his job due to illness or downsizing, the State will toss him in jail. While jailed the arrearage will grow and the state will charge interest. The State will revoke his driver's and professional licenses, make him virtually unemployable.

If you were to take up sky-diving, and the instructor informed you that 67% of the parachutes were defective, would you take the plunge?

The men’s Marriage Strike is alive and well, thank you.

nomarriage.com

Answer 5

Make it a very special occasion, roses, wine, dinner nice restaurant, expensive, candle lit, ask the host to play your special love song when you get down on that knee.

People propose in all kinds of weird places these days, hot air balloons, islands, mountain tops, cruise ships, resorts,on TV....etc

Answer 6

Bless your little heart. Just curious, why are you waiting until next year? Why not do it now? Well, I've never proposed but I imagine that it is very normal to be so nervous. Good luck to you, you sound very sweet!

Answer 7

dude... you are way too young... what's the hurry!?
5 months is a very short period of time to be thinking about marrying someone!

Answer 8

aw ur such a lil geek

Answer 9

Congratulations! Just be good to her always and she'll love you forever.

Answer 10

don;t do it.