After a series of "significant others" got through with me, I hardly know who I am. Ladies, is this a compulsion common to the gender?
2007-08-29 15:19:39 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
After a series of "significant others" got through with me, I hardly know who I am. Ladies, is this a compulsion common to the gender?
How am I supposed to pick a Best Answer. Ladies, some of you have done remarkably well. Come back when it's in Voting and help me pick the best.
2007-08-29 15:49:42 · update #1
yes, we try to make men "better"......but do not want to change ourselves :)
2007-08-29 15:25:37 · answer #1 · answered by NAN G 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Unfortunately , we ( men ) do hear this a lot ." My wife wants me to change ! "
If the change means that it's for the good and better life-style of the male , then , we should probably take this advice to heart .
Some men can make a change in their lives ( for the good ) and some of us can' t and some of us flatly " Refuse to change for anyone ! "
Most males and females live by the motto , " Accept me for who I am . When you met me , you knew what I was all about . "
For the woman who wants her man to change only reflects something about her past and thinking that she can tell another human to change .
I seriously think that a woman would try to change her man for the simple sake of the 'status symbol' . It would make her friends think that the man with her has been a real good ' catch ' ! She would be putting on a ' False Front ' for her peers .
It means that she really isn' t happy with herself over the man she has chosen . I also think it means , " Love is on the rocks ! "
2007-08-29 15:53:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men and woman are really two differ ant species both are human,but there is a very fine line that separates us.
It's not that woman want to change you they just want, what you want, someone who is willing too meet 1/2 way. How much is half way depends on how each other react when you and her are at your limits. Then it's call give and take.
Just remember one thing about woman they don't want to be your mother you already have one so the half way point depends on whether you think the woman is suppose pick up were your mother left off. More than likely most woman have come 1/2 way . Make your bed ,do your laundry, pack your lunch,cook you dinner and hopefully mom never did the rest for you......get the point.......grow up....
2007-08-29 15:34:23 · answer #3 · answered by thebaked 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
All I can offer is coming from a woman who knows herself and changing my men has never been part of the program. I chose men who knew themselves and I expected them to. We worked together to make our life better but didn't try to change anything that brought us together. I have been married for years to a wonderful man who has flaws just as I do and we make them all a positive by trying to work together and not sweat the small stuff. That's the difference between a partnership and someone who is selfish and can't move beyond that selfishness. Make sure when you are choosing a partner they share your basic same interests in life...honesty, healthy communication, and similar attitudes in where you expect your lives to be. Sounds to me like you haven't been looking in these directions.
2007-08-29 15:32:39 · answer #4 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because they "think" they know what they want. I think its a sign of insecurity. I also think many have no concept of what love is. Love is total acceptance. The good, bad and ugly. You just accept it. If you can't deal with it you move on. I think many women are afraid to move on once they find someone so they try to change them into the person they've been looking for. The cure for this is for everyone, women and men, to know who THEY are before they enter a serious relationship. How can you know what you want if you don't know who you are? If you "hardly know who you are" after dealing with all of this, you might be just as insecure as the women you've been dating. Don't let a woman change you! be who you are! Find out who you are and THEN find a woman who can relate. Good luck :)
2007-08-29 15:37:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Not for me. I've never tried to change a man from who/what he is. I think a lot of women still tend to buy into the "prince charming" fantasy and THINK their man is the fantasy. When they get deeper into the relationship relatiy begins to set in and they try to change the man to fit the fantasy. I think if more of them took the time to actually get to KNOW the person rather than the fantasy relationships would be better off.
2007-08-29 15:39:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what you mean. I've never tried to change a man I was with. Perhaps you are being oversensitive to the fact that as human beings we are influenced by those around us especially those who we care about. This is naturally occurring and not always a conscious effort of men and women.
2007-08-29 15:28:18 · answer #7 · answered by skunk pie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its not really we are changing guys. we just want our men to be a better person. at first when we met you guys, you're all nice,sweet and stuff....once you have us...you just ignore us, pay not too much attention as before...we women needs love and affection of our men, once we have it...we will do everything for our men.
why dont you check yourself, why your S.O are trying to change you?
My bf for 6 yrs now, isnt perfect there are things I hate about Him that he didnt show me when we were just starting...we had some fights over it...but after a long run I learned to accept it...and He also try to change when he realized that it is for him...
2007-08-29 15:47:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's like a test on how much you are willing to do for the women. Honestly, if I weren't perfectly happy with a guy, I'd tell him. It'd be up to him whether or not he wants to change. But in actuality, I've never dated (or continued dating) someone I wasn't perfectly happy with, baring in mind that with the good comes the bad and it'd be hard to appreciate someone's good points if there were no bad ones!
2007-08-29 15:27:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Not all women do. i don't want to change my man . I like the fact that we have different taste . I encourage him to be himself.We get a good laugh at our differences. I am glad that he like me just the way i am and he is not trying to change me. We compromise on things and it's how it should be and not have one person always getting their way.
It's true that a lot of women try to change their men. These women are control freaks.
2007-08-29 16:40:01 · answer #10 · answered by Precious 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when we first get together with you some things seem fun then as time passes we think you will grow up a little on your own eventually we get tired of waiting so we have to try and change you and then the real problems begin
2007-08-29 20:41:44 · answer #11 · answered by Kelli sue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋