I found out my dad has cheated on my mom...?

Question

I was online and my dad did not sign out of his email account..I know it was wrong but I looked at his email and found emails he has written to a woman!! He wrote things like he and my mom have not had sex in ten years and he will not divorce her because there is to much money involved and my brother has a learning disability (he is 32 yrs old) it would break his heart....he wrote things in his emails about his love for this woman how much he loves her ect.. I felt sick to my stomach after reading them and wish i haven't..I know my parents have had problems they sleep in separate bedrooms..my mom is always nagging him about money..I always though they slept in separate bedrooms because of his sleep apnea machine (my mom complains about the noise) but according to his email its that way because they just don't sleep togther anymore--I don't know how I am gonna look at my father after reading all this..

Answer 1

Just pretend you don't know. You shouldn't have read it. But you can't go back.
Has he been a good father? Be thankful he has been around. Some times adult life gets complicated. If they try to maintain a family, in spite of all the bad things, so their kids can grow up with a full time mom and dad, that is a noble thing. That he cheated, that issue is between him and your mother.

Answer 2

Well I think that what you did read his e-mail most people would have done it too. But that is neither here or there. But i think your torn between what to do or not do, If your father is staying for the money then he shouldn't be doing it on your moms time. Your dad is lying to this woman anyways, he didn't say i have sleep apnea and don't let my wife sleep. The point here is that if I found out that my daughter knew and said nothing to me, i would feel betrayed by her too. So what i suggest is for you to tell you dad what you saw and then tell him that he needs to make things right, tell him you stand behind him if he wants a divorce from your mother but that you do not stand by him having an affair while your mom knows nothing about it. Tell him he is with you mom because of the money and that just makes it wrong. Tell him to take what money belongs to him and to let your mom have her own life. Maybe you will find out that your mom knows he has affairs.. Good luck to you no matter what age you are thins is very painful at what ever age.
To everyone you have to ask yourself if it were your spouse would you want to know or not know. I can tell you that all of you would want to know and not be in the closet.

Answer 3

Well, first thing you should have done was to sign out for him. It's hard to know that one of your parents is cheating on the other. You must first try not to think you are carrying a burden on your shoulder because it will rip you apart. Your parents knows why all this has happened but they choose not to tell you. Let's face some facts, maybe Mom is fooling around, maybe Mom told Dad years ago that he was the biggest mistake she ever made and that caused them to seperate. You must try not to hold anything against your Dad and try not to be disrespectful to him. Your parents, one day, may tell you the truth and it might be worst than just that e-mail. Try this, gain your Dad's trust and your Mom's and try and see if you can get them back together again. Remember, it's better to do this than to let him know about the mail or to burst out everything in anger one day when friends and family comes over. You love them both, so get them back where they once were.
Blessed.

Answer 4

I was 9 when I found love letters and teddy bears in my dad's office. My mom was there working, she was the bookkeeper. She told me to file something in his desk and it all fell apart from there.

I don't know your age, but I would ask your dad to have "date night" with you. Go somewhere where you can talk and not have to becareful to whisper or yell through the crowd.

I would be honest and tell him you have something on your mind and it is really really bothering you. I was on the computer and you weren't signed out and I read your emails. I'm sorry I know your mad at me for disrespecting your privacy. I saw the letters to this other woman and you were confessing your love for her. If you are that unhappy why have you stayed together with mom?

Listen to him and honestly listen. You only know what you see in your home and now these letters. You don't know what has gone on behind the doors of their bedroom. If you don't understand something, have him explain it a little more.

Just know it's not your's or your brothers fault that your dad has gone outside of this marriage to find love in another woman's bed. It is wrong of him to stay in this marriage for the kids, In the long run it will hurt the family even more.

I am sorry that you are going through this tough time. It will hurt and you will cry, but you need to talk with your dad.

good luck

Answer 5

Ask your dad first, because it seems like he initiated it. That is if you decide to open it up and find out if you have a half brother or sister somewhere. It sounds like your mother has put this behind her and gone on. I wouldn't upset your mother unless dad refuses to answer. Since you found the tape, you have a right to know. This is just one of the many reasons that pleasure seeking while married is wrong. Divorce is inevitable and the children suffer.

Answer 6

This is a serious matter and I think you should tell your mom. Secondly, your mother may already know that your dad is cheating. I sympathizes with how you feel. However know that this issue should be resolve by your parents in a civil matter.

I also believe you should reach out and talk to a counselor at your school or a close relative who will support you during this difficult time. I know that the problems and issues between your dad and mom is not your fault and also you can not help them fix this.

I don't know how old you are but pray to Jesus. Jesus is the answer! Say the Our Father prayer and ask Jesus to give you peace and comfort and take away any anger or ill feelings you may have towards your dad and mom.

God Bless

Answer 7

I don't know what is wrong with these heartless people. Yes, technically you did a wrong by looking through your dad's email, but EVERY one of us has probably had a similar impulse. The bigger no-no is the one your dad is apparently doing. I'm so sorry. Do you think your mom might already know? If so, maybe you can suggest that they seek out couples counseling to help them decide if it's in their best interest to stay together or separate. If not, I suggest you see a counselor to help you sort out your own feelings and help you decide if you really want to say something to your dad or not.

Answer 8

My heart goes out to. I know that it's a hard thing to deal with but you should talk to your dad about what happen and that you know the real reason why things are not the same in the house hold. Tell him how it makes you feel and listen to what he has to say. By all mean do not take sides and do not mention this to your mom. It will hurt so. That is if she don't already know. It's unhealthy to be in a marriage when the love for each other has died. Your dad sounds like he is unhappy being marry to his wife. sorry if that sound harsh but the truth is the truth. Maybe he will be relieve after you guys talk. Don't judge your dad be understanding and listen with an open heart. I will keep you guys in my prayers.

Answer 9

Something similar happened to me when I was growing up so I know how you feel. You don't say how old you are, but if your brother is 32 then I'm assuming you are over 21. Either way, whether you or older or younger, while I don't condone what your father has done he does have the right to have a life. Being with another woman might be the only way to keep himself sane in the marriage. I know this is not what you want to hear but you should not judge someone until you have walked a mile their shoes. Hopefully he is good to you and your brother, and tried to get along with your mother, and you can all carry on as best as you can.

Answer 10

It is none of your business. You're divorced. You of all people should know that not all marriages work out. You should never have been snooping through his e-mails. How would you feel if he did the same to you? Probably violated, and pretty pissed. Forget what you read, and let it go. It takes two to tango, and if they are both that miserable in their marriage, your mother probably has some dirty secrets you don't know either. You don't know all the details. If you feel like you need to say something to someone, tell your dad-and APOLOGIZE for snooping. Let him know what you saw, and that you don't like it, and you know you were in the wrong. This is why you should never be nosy! You usually find things you didn't want to know in the first place!