My father was an alcoholic so don't know if I'm TOO sensitive to drinking, and his father was a full blown alcohol and brother is one now too. Isn't a nasty drunk. But just sick of the drinking. He won't stop and thinks I'm not happy unless I'm worrying about something. ...
2007-08-29 15:03:44 · 20 answers · asked by worrying2much 1 in Health ➔ General Health Care ➔ Other - General Health Care
he's an alchoholic too, don't kid yourself, and for god's sake don't marry him!!
google alcoholism, learn about it, and get yourself out of that relationship. You've chosen a man just like dear old daddy, and you might benefit from behavioral therapy yourself. Don't compound the problems he has and you have by thinking he will change, it isn't going to happen, he's going to get worse, long before he gets any better.
2007-08-29 15:10:00 · answer #1 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If he needs to drink all week long, then he is certainly an alcoholic. Now, if you're both young, like early twenties, he may outgrow the behavious once he's done with any schooling or gets a good job. However, if this guy is in his early 30's or beyond, there's no hope for him stopping unless he hits rock bottom and realizes that he has a problem. Until that happens, IF it ever happens, the best thing for you to do would be to move on with your life without him in it. Stop the relationship before the wedding, because things will only get worse once you're married to him and his drinking habits continue. I know that's hard to do, but can you truly be in love with a person who is on planet x all the time? And can he truly be in love with you if all he wants to do is drink all the time.
2007-08-29 15:13:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's an alcoholic. If he wasn't he would respect your wishes and understand your background. Get out now before you have children or are married and the problem grows. You have every right to worry because alcohol has destroyed many relationships/marriages. It's only a matter of time before he does get mean in some form or another. I just don't think a man who loves you would do such a thing knowing how you feel unless he is an alcoholic. Lol
2007-08-29 15:11:50 · answer #3 · answered by bfldmom3 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Honey you have every right to worry. Is he good to you when he is drunk or is he abusive ? If he is then you need to decide if you want to live the rest of you life like this or move on. With everyone else in his family the same way I don't see him quitting anytime soon. Sometimes people get this way because of depression believe me I know from experience. I do this when I just can't take anymore stress. This is my way of escapeing for a while but this doesn't seem like what he is going through. Good Luck !!!!!
2007-08-29 15:15:00 · answer #4 · answered by pattycake 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your fiancee is an alcoholic and it is not an easy life to be married to one. I was married to one for 25 years and I had a miserable life. My ex stopped drinking and I had hoped that things would improve with my marriage but nothing changed for me. I was finally able to get a divorce. I also have two grown sons and they are both alcoholics. You should not marry the man because you will get very fed up with the drinking. My ex did not care about anything but his drinking. He had chose the drinking over his family. You can also go to Alanon meetings. I use to go to the meetings and they will help you.
2007-08-29 15:13:31 · answer #5 · answered by Nancy M 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Chances are he is an alcoholic. You need to be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you want to live this life. You know what it is to live with an alcoholic. If your relationship were to lead to marriage and your decided to have children it would be very unfair to them to have to live like that. There is no way for you to change him. An alcoholic or addict of any kind can not be forced to change. They have to admit they have a problem and want to do some thing about it. If given an ultimatum, many will go through the motions of rehab to apiece their loved ones just to begin again. I know how hard it is to walk away, I have had to do it, but think of the future and what you want and deserve. Good Luck and God Bless.
2007-08-29 15:12:05 · answer #6 · answered by emtd65 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It does sound to me like your fiance has a drinking problem. I'd suggest that instead of addressing your concerns in terms of "alcoholism," that you instead focus on the health-related issues and see if that makes him respond. Instead of saying, "You drink too much -- you're just like my father!" tell him that you are concerned about his health. That you want him to be around for a really long time after you're married, and you know that that much alcohol is incredibly bad for his liver, kidneys, and heart. It can also make him gain weight (6 microbrew beers, for example, have more than 1200 calories total in them, which is more than some people eat in a whole day), putting him at increased risk for diabetes, heart disease, and stroke.
Two servings of alcohol a day is the maximum for men -- in fact, two servings a day is actually considered to carry multiple health BENEFITS. However, anything more than that is detrimental and is doing serious, consistent damage to many of his organs and physiological systems. Unfortunately, this damage is very, very slow, and he likely will have no symptoms for an extremely long time, which makes it hard for many heavy drinkers to take these issues seriously. He has to want to quit before he can quit, in other words, and getting someone to recognize that they have a problem is usually the biggest hurdle in addition treatment.
So, I would strongly encourage you to find a local chapter of Al-Anon (just Google "Al-Anon" and the city you live in and you will find information on how to get in touch with them) which is a support group for family members of people with alcoholism or drinking problems. The people there can give you tons of suggestions on what to do, and also help you cope with your own emotional issues and frustrations.
Good luck and hang in there!
2007-08-29 15:16:32 · answer #7 · answered by Meg 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My mom has been going through that with her bf/fiance, whatever it is for awhile now. She has told him what is more important her or the alcohol. It isn't getting through to him.
If he is drinking excessively like this alot, he has a problem, and he won't change, no one can change that, only he can get himself help.
If it's really putting alot of stress on your relationship, I wouldn't stay with him, it'll only make you get hurt in the end. Really though, it's your life and you just need to decide what is the best decision.
2007-08-29 15:16:37 · answer #8 · answered by Amber 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
6 a day is not normal. 1 or 2, maybe is. You have a right to worry and should definitely try to talk with him more about it. Maybe look up some hard numbers and stats of what the average person drinks and what is normal, BAC levels from that many beers, health risks etc.
2007-08-29 15:08:54 · answer #9 · answered by success_marker 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's an alcoholic too. Stay with him if you like living with a boozer. Go to the AA website and look at the indicator questions. Why do you stay with a drunk who'll die early of liver disease?
2007-08-29 15:14:14 · answer #10 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋