How do I make my wife love me again?

Question

My wife and i have been married for 3 years. We have 2 children. I love all three of them with all my heart. The problem is that I was in the military when we got married and when I got out I became a truck driver. Because I know that she hated me being gone so much I got out of that career and found a job closer to home where I can be home every night. I think i found it too late though. She has said that she has turned off her emotions for me and prepared herself for leaving. She has also said that she does not want to be here. I asked for her to give it a few weeks to see if things will work out and she agreed. What can I do to make her love me again? Thanks for the help!

Answer 1

Hey There,

Sounds like your wife needs time to re-adust to your new life. See, I have been there myself. My ex was in the military, but in my case my ex was abusive. And I was glad when he was gone. In your case, sounds like you are one of the good guys. So you need to go back to the basics. Court her, (Date her), a woman always wants to know she, is the only one for her man. Leave a rose, and a note on your pillow, when you leave for work. Gently give her a kiss on her head, as you leave. Do little things for her. Be romantic, guys seem to really have a tough time with this , I do not know why,...lol!
Get a sitter one night a week. Make this a standing date, every week, but make the nights out special, you know your wife better than we do. But this is important! You must win her all over again. A woman wants her children to be well loved, and have a devoted father for them, BUT, she does not want to play second fiddle to them ether! DO NOT TAKE HER FOR GRANTED! this is a very, very big no no! Cherish her, look deeply into her eyes, hold the back of her head, smile at her and tell her you love her, very slowly, with a great desire, and very gently, and slowly kiss her! Not a slobbery, tongue down the throat, kind of kiss, but a tender loving, passionate kiss. Then stand back and hold her hand. Just be yourself, and let your love lead the way! Tenderness, and total love, is the key! Never let people tell you that love and passion die after the honeymoon! Those people have never been in what is called over the moon in love, with anyone but themselfs!!!!! You must be willing to make you wife happy! As the old saying goes. If mom ain't happy, no ones happy!

~~~~ Hope this helps~~~~ Blessings~~~~~~

SORRY IF SPELLING IS A BIT OFF, SPELL CHECKER ON THE FRITZ....lol!

Answer 2

The sad thing, is the reality of us not being able to make someone love us honey. It's life. We can alter alot in life, but we can't change free will. Let's be honest, the truth of this situation is that she got use to being a single mom. She depended on herself and it became a way of life. She's already cried all her tears and her heart is hardened to the life she use to know.

The only thing I can recommend is trying without trying too hard. Flirt a little, laugh alot and be considerate of her way of life. Become super dad and the best friend a person could have and it'll happen if it's meant to be honey. But more than anything, be patient and understanding. She's been through alot while you were gone (I'm not saying you haven't), the girl she was is no longer the girl she is...just the same as you are not the person she once knew. You two have to find a middle ground to try and start all over.

Answer 3

Why not try becoming the person she fell in love with? Were there special things you used to do together that maybe you've fallen out of the habit of doing?

At the very least, try to get a few days with her alone and away from the pressures of kids. Maybe take her on a long weekend?

Also I think you should have a LONG talk with her about how and why things changed and what you guys can do to salvage things.

I think it's important to mention, though, that you shouldn't try TOO hard and put TOO much pressure on her. Realize that this may not work. You can give it your best effort but that's all you can do. If you've tried your best and her feelings don't change, I'm afraid you don't have a choice but to let her go. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Well the first thing is that tell her that u love her. And the second thing is that bring her some red roses and bring the kids something to. Then the third thing is that come home early from work and tell her that you have a babysitter coming over and that u r taking her out to the movies and dinner. And I'm in the military to and I'm still there did my time in Iraq 2004 to 2005.

Answer 5

You question is simple really. You can not make someone love you that does not. It is impossible to change her mind. She might spend some time in counseling and that might help. I know this is difficult because the divorce rate is high when one of the partners is absent due to jobs or the military. Being absent allows the other person to remove themselves emotionally and to learn how to be alone and some times someone else is available and that leads them together. Be careful how you treat her at this time. She might have to leave to figure out that you are not a bad person. Attempting to "force" her to love you will make her back further away. Good luck.

Answer 6

Sounds like to me that she already had her mind made up from the beginning know matter what you did to try and save your marriage. Someone can not turn they emotions off all at once it takes time to do this . You can not make someone love you if they dont see love is love and being in love with someone is quite different so what is it she has fallen out of love with you. Let me tell you something your kids and her are your main priority and she doesn't want you. listen move on there is someone out there who will love you for you. Good luck

Answer 7

Why not try and turn back the hands of time. In other words, try to show her the man she fell in love with. Get a babysitter and spend a little alone time together, dinner and night with no kids sounds good to every woman. She could probably use the time away from the kids too. Just try and show her that you are back home and ready to love her and spend time with her.

Answer 8

Unfortunately you can't make her love you but you can try to rekindle what she may be trying to forget. Where did you go for your first date? Take her there and tell her what you remember about it and why you fell in love with her. Tell her you realize by being away from her (working) your marriage didn't have a chance to grow and you would like to have that chance before she walks away from it all. If you really truely love her and the kids and want to be a family you have to lay it all out there and be vulnerable. She may still leave but at least you know you gave it your all.

Answer 9

i think of that's over. You threatened to call the police on her. do no longer you get it? probable doing away with a new child she loves. once you mentioned, "...if she did no longer end spanking my daughter..." you will locate out how plenty she is "my" daughter in a actual hurry. women sense that's their blood and not yours. you do no longer come between them... ever. do no longer pay attention to maximum of those people because of the fact they do no longer understand what this is want to be around an LD new child. All are no longer the comparable and the court docket would be waiting to ascertain it. those people decrease fee an LD new child however the court docket does not. the reality that it took somebody to ascertain the youngster grow to be LD tells me, this is not evident... or perhaps to her own parents. So this could be a warfare of words over new child rearing. I also have a sister it relatively is LD. except that's evident to you and can be to the remainder of the international that this grow to be incorrect to your spouse, then you certainly are coming between her and her youngster.

Answer 10

Sorry dude you can not make some one love you. You can be there, be considerate, loving, but don't be clingy, needy or smothering. She's got the control right now, so back off a bit and let her get a little insecure. Stop trying to convince her to stay. Tell her if she wants to try again fine, but if she wants to go tell her you'll let her. Then let her make her decision.