We moved in together about a year ago. When we first moved in she had a few photos of her and one of her ex's displayed. I told her that it bothered me and she disagreed. Eventually she did take them down...
She now has them stored in albums in her closet and it still bothers me.
What is the right thing to do here? Am I being ridiculous? Should she get rid of them?
2007-08-29 14:54:27 · 62 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
good responses, i'm going to leave it up for a vote.
2007-08-30 12:20:19 · update #1
no you should not be angry...
you actually have no right to even think if getting rid of them they are her memories not yours and how dare you even consider it... she obvioulsy took your feelings into consideration by moving them to a album...
lets say she does remove em from the house then what do you loose in return? friends ou had before her? books and pictures of your family? you cant just take memories she has and not expect her to just accept it...
everyone has a past and no one not even you has the right to try and erase it!
as much as she may love you he must have meant alot to her at some point and you should not try to make her forget or regret her happiness becasue your insecure...
as i said she respected your feelings and put them in a album so back off and respect her right to memories...
....and yeah you are ****** ridiculous!!
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i love that everyone seems to rate mine bad because i dont believe you have the right try and erase her past so you feel more comfortable... gotta love it... negative 5 and slipping! go me!
2007-08-29 15:01:19 · answer #1 · answered by arei 4 · 3⤊ 9⤋
1
2016-05-06 00:31:46 · answer #2 · answered by Charles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, actually having the pictures displayed in the house is definetly wrong and inconsiderate of her! But storing them in albums is okay...I have pictures of my ex's in scrapbooks and it doesnt bother my boyfriend (that I live with) because he knows that I keep them as memories. Memories that I can look back and laugh on. Whether you like it or not, that is a part of her past and just because she doesnt she doesnt throw them away, doesnt mean that she cares about you any less. I wouldnt worry about it too much, stop being so jealous :)!!!! She did take down the pictures, you know? So she obviously cares about your feelings. Dont make her throw them away. There is no reason to. Its just a part of her life that she doesnt want to forget. Now, I dont know if she still has feelings for him or not, and if she does, that may be a bad sign. But her ex might be special because they went through a difficult time together (i.e. death of a family member, etc). The only thing I can tell you, since I dont know her or the whole story, is to let it go and just be wary. You could also be up front and just ask her why she has them and why they are so important. Hope this helps, good luck.
2007-08-29 15:09:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ok displaying the pictures in the house is rude.
She took them down. good !
you should not be mad bc she has them stored away.
you are being ridiculous and do not throw them away.
My ex man had the same thing. He kept the pictures. It bothered me for a while. He wouldnt throw them away.
Try taking pictures with her and start up on your own memories.
that was then this is now. You are here now. That is your territory......take pictures and cover them all around the house... its your house to...or do an expriment..try taking pictures that you may already have of you and your ex and do the samething she is doing now with her pictures and see if she likes it or even take a pic of you and a hot family member and make her think its your ex..see how she reacts...if she doesnt react then you are def being ridiculous in her eyes. If she does react then you have a pt and the pictures are in the garbage and you win....
good luck
2007-08-29 15:12:13 · answer #4 · answered by Lacey L 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
She had them on display after you moved in. She disagreed when you told her it bothered you. She 'eventually' took them down.....
Now she stores them in an album in her closet & it bothers you.
She is obviously a very selfish person & has no consideration for your feelings. Plus she obviously has not made the decision to fully accept you as her partner by still treasuring things of the past such as pics of her ex.
If it was me I'd be out of there like a shot - no way could I live with someone whom I couldn't trust.
I wouldn't be worrying about getting rid of the pics - I'd just get rid of her.
2007-08-29 15:12:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Question yourself: Why did they break up in d first place? Did you break them up? What kind of stuff does she talk about when chatting of him? Do they talk by phone or E-mail? Did you push into a relationship with this girl? Self search and if any of these ??s is a yes, then you know that he is still in her heart. To me, nothing is wrong to keep photos in your closet, but on the wall, NO WAY! Please do not tell her to get rid of them, she will only call him and complain saying how stupid you are and stuff like that, leaving a HUGE room for the EX to return.
Blessed.
2007-08-29 15:13:49 · answer #6 · answered by Jerrylee21 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I don' t know .... the pictures do belong to her .... she did take them down .... you honestly told her that it bothered you .... she showed respect for your feelings by taking down those pictures .
I don' t think you' re being ridiculous . You' re displaying jealousy . Hell ! .... I' d feel the exact same way !
It' s not , ' Should she get rid of them' , it' s ' Do YOU want her to get rid of them ?' .
You may as well take it to the next level and ask her to please get rid of them .
Just be prepared .... she might tell you , " No ! " .... and you should accept that .
The two of you need to be complemented as a couple .... you deserve a lot of credit for being able to voice your opinions to each other without causing a huge argument or fuss !
After you 'politely' ask her to get rid of those pictures .... whether she does or not .... then , forget it ! And get back to the thing that brought you 2 together in the 1st place .... your LOVE for each other !
2007-08-29 15:24:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think it was fine for you to want her to take them down. It's not bad that she had them up in the first place, but if it bothers you, she shouldn't feel so passionate about having her ex's pictures up that she would fight you on it.
I do think you should allow her to keep them in her albums. You can't make someone throw away a memory. I have pictures that have people I don't like at all now but wouldn't dream of getting rid of them. Chances are it was a special day if we were taking pictures.
2007-08-29 15:04:05 · answer #8 · answered by Jillian 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
If she is still good friends with her ex, then I think it's okay. You know, it's just like a friend thing or whatever. BUT ! if they broke up and they don't talk... and ESPECIALLY if it's the type of picture where you can tell they were "together", I think you have a total right to be upset about it. I wouldn't worry about it though... She doesn't have to get rid of them. I mean, they are memories- regardless if they are bad, good, likeable or dislikeable...it's just a reminder of something. You can be upset and it's not ridiculous, but I wouldn't fret to her about it if she doesn't post the pictures up in her room or on the walls. If it's in a closet, I don't see the problem.
2007-08-29 15:04:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Displaying pictures of exes is inappropriate. Keeping pictures but put away is not. We all had a previous life. It isn't necessary that someone has to destroy all evidence of a previous life. I am happily married to a wonderful man but I didn't destroy my pictures from my first marriage many, many years ago. It was a part of my life but not one that is part of my life now. My husband has many pictures as well. We keep them boxed up in the basement. So what! We knew we had other people and events in our previous lives but are strong enough in our life together to keep them where they belong....in a box of old memories. Get over it and allow your girlfriend her space and her memories. It has nothing to do with you.
2007-08-29 15:09:45 · answer #10 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
quoted from arei... i think she got the point across with no dancing around it... blunt truth and i agree... even though your now at -6 haha!
"no you should not be angry...
you actually have no right to even think if getting rid of them they are her memories not yours and how dare you even consider it... she obvioulsy took your feelings into consideration by moving them to a album...
lets say she does remove em from the house then what do you loose in return? friends ou had before her? books and pictures of your family? you cant just take memories she has and not expect her to just accept it...
everyone has a past and no one not even you has the right to try and erase it!
as much as she may love you he must have meant alot to her at some point and you should not try to make her forget or regret her happiness becasue your insecure...
as i said she respected your feelings and put them in a album so back off and respect her right to memories...
....and yeah you are ****** ridiculous!!
---------
i love that everyone seems to rate mine bad because i dont believe you have the right try and erase her past so you feel more comfortable... gotta love it... negative 5 and slipping! go me! "
2007-08-29 15:26:51 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋